99to1

Well it's the sencond weekend we've spent without Luna. It's really just a bit more than a week sinced she passed.

It has been so hard.

Loren and I have been quite low key, loosing her has been a huge adjustment to our home and lives.

Colin and Hannah have been trying to get us to do things with them, and Saturday night we finally agreed to get out. We ended up having dinner with them and Hannah's borther Stan and his girlfriend Carol. We had a very good time, it was reassuring to me to see Loren be vibrant and talkative, as she's been pretty down.

We had a wonderful meal at Prato, and them some wine at Hannah's. She oppenned two of the bottles she brought back from California from the recent workshop she was on, they were both delicious. It was good to see her and Colin, and a treat to meet Stan and Carol.

It was really the first time we've experienced some sort of normality in a while.

Thank goodness for close friends.

Well I've got my mornings back in terms of waking early and doing asana and meditation.

The forty minutes of sun salutations dedicated to Luna was a turning point.

That image I have of her lowering down to rest her head on my feet during her last night has touched me profoundly. I saw it as the most beautiful and devoted vinyasa (vinyasa: to place in a special way).
For that matter her little journey down to my feet has also had a profound effect on me...

How can I stay in bed thwarting my own best plans to get up, and struggling with inertia, when Luna almost dead,
could manage to get herslf up make the long slow intentional journey from my head to my feet?

I was surprised by mondays practice when I later realized that I did not once have a mental image of her while I lowered into chaturanga.

I do miss her so much.

These are some of the last photos I took of Luna, just hours before she died. This one she was still sitting under her own strength.

Here she had just managed to roll over to point her head at the flowers.
It was to be the last time she would do this.

Here's a detail of the same flowers taken days before in the sunlight.

Recently I have had a wonderful realization about life and death, and it has given me some comfort.
Though I still miss her terribly.

First day of Spring and it is off to a great start for me.

No trouble getting up at 04:15
Did seated meditation
Did my full set of asanas
Remembered to put the garbage out
Hit the bridge before 06:00
Basked in the glow of a glorious sunrise along Bonnaventure expressway

You think it would feel strange...

After waking and realizing that the very, very vivid dream you were just in was an improv, wildy magical version of a combined Finnegan's Wake, and For Whom the Bell Tolls...featuring you as the main character...

And then to put the meditation mat down... the same blue mat which recently served as a sticky surface for Luna before she died (her paws slipped on the hardwood floors) and then as her actual death bed.

But it does not.

These are the days of silver
Easter silver

These are the days of silver