So really it's been kind of a nervous breakdown paralyzed-catatonic kinda trip as of late. Which is really too much info for the world at large, but is only fitting for me when I read years from now in retrospect...
The typical slow-downs at work have produced a sort of impotent hopeless downer...
I've thrown my hands up and I can't go any faster than things permit... though I think I slip into the "I'll show the world... I'll go slower than it can imagine" routine.
My breathing has been heavy. Where is the common sense advice I offer others when they are depressed?
"Make sure that every hour or so you have 5 deep breaths where the inhalation is longer than the exhalation..."
Where is the lightness??
The understanding?
The knolowdge and wisdom I carry with me in my heart?
When will the tide turn?
How will levity find it's way back into my perception and experience?
When will gratitude move me?
How shall this dark cloud break and let in light?
Wow... it's been hard.
Oh yeah... there's a slight chance that I'll learn either tomorrow or Tuesday, that the company will not send me to Japan (on Wednesday) but rather to India again several weeks hence... I'm not complaining in any way, it's just the anxiety that's all...