I practiced at Jorgen's new place in Brentwood this morning. It's a really nice space. The room was smaller but felt much cozier. I had a good practice but was occasionally distracted by a prospective student observing the class. I kept wondering what she was observing. I missed the Westwood studio though. We were spoiled there. I learned something new today. My fellow yoga students called it an “Italian bath�. I don't know if that's what the Italians do but that's what they called it. Since we no longer have the luxury of taking a shower after practice, I was given a complementary baby wipe. They suggested that I bring a lot because they are so small. It will have to do for today. I actually had a small face towel, which I wet and used to wipe out the sweat. I still felt sticky though so I cranked up the air conditioner on my way to work. It felt a little better. I will get a box of baby wipe though.
I just learned today that Guruji would be in Africa early September for a couple of weeks. Maybe leaving in September wouldn't be a bad idea. On most days, the thought of quitting my job and leaving for India is so exciting. There's a sense of freedom I have never felt before. It's hard to explain. I look around the office and I know that the people around me are miserable. They come to work everyday, hating every moment but they don't have a choice. It's like we're all in prison and there's no way out. I'm tired of being around miserable people because they want you to feel as miserable as they are. I have a choice and I'm going to make that choice. In a few months I will walk away from all this. But on the other hand, there's a sense of fear, uncertainty and insecurity involved. I will no longer have the luxury of having a steady paycheck. I will no longer have a place to call home. Everything I own will go into storage except for the things I will need on a day-to-day basis. I will no longer have the option to take what ever massage class I feel like taking. This is the price I have to pay for the freedom that I want. My family thinks I'm crazy. I probably am, but it's a conscious choice. The road I am about to take is unpaved. Every step I take today brings me closer to that unpaved road and it scares the hell out of me. I question myself everyday but I know if I don't do it now I will have to do it in another life. I realize that this is not only about going to India but about changing my life. Someone once told me that to open a new window you have to close an old window. Only by closing an old window will a new window open. But the objective of life is to close as many windows as possible and in the end only one window is opened. I think I'm ready to close this window.