Road To Mysore

I skipped practice today. It’s the second day I’ve skipped this week. Maintaining a daily practice is much harder than I anticipated. Yesterday I made a mistake of picking up a massage shift from 7 to 9:15 last night. I got home around 10 and was in bed by 10:30. I woke up this morning with work in my mind again. I felt tired and I knew if I forced myself to practice, I would be a zombie at work. I’ve been stressing about this big return I’m trying to wrap up for my boss. Half of me is saying, “f**k this thing, I’m leaving anyway� but the other half does not want to disappoint my boss who is fighting colon cancer. His been good to me and he deserves better. I should have not picked up that shift last night but shifts have been harder to come by lately. I’ve told them that I want to pick up more shifts from Aug 7 to 20 so turning down the shift was not a good idea. It all boils down to balancing work and yoga. Anyway, I was glad to skip yoga cause I was able to focus on my real job and I should be able to finish the return by Monday. It’s a moon day on Sunday so next practice day is on Monday. I haven’t had 3 days rest in a long time. I’m really looking forward to just resting.

I know I have enough saved for my trip plus about 4 to 6 months after I get back but I seem to be paranoid about not having enough money. Last day of my real job is Aug 6 so I want to pick up as many shifts as I can from Aug 7 to 20 (2 days before I leave). I know I don’t have to work after Aug 6 but when I’m not working, I tend to spend. I can’t just stay home and do nothing. Not working is expensive because you have no money coming in plus your spending. It’s like a double whammy. In accounting we call it an “opportunity cost�…cost incurred for not working or for making a specific decision. One time I was supposed to pick up a shift but since I wasn’t booked yet, I decided to ask them to take my name out. Since I had the time, I decided that I would get a massage and then I went shopping. The amount spent on the massage, plus amount spent shopping plus the amount I would have earned if I had picked up the shift is called “opportunity cost�. I know it sounds crazy but that’s how accountants think. I know I have to do something about my convoluted mind but that just the way I’ve been trained to think. The thought of not having any money coming in while I’m in India is driving me crazy. I’m still learning how to slow down. It’s harder than I thought.