Road To Mysore

The past week has been an emotional rollcoaster. The excitement has worn down and has been replaced with fear, panic, stress, doubt and uncertainty. I should be all relaxed but I'm not. I should be enjoying this process but I'm not. There's so much preparation going on these days. I hope it gets better later this week.

Last week my landlord was pissing me off. We were supposed to meet so he can check out the apartment and return my deposit. He has never been reliable and has never fulfill any of the promises his made before. I had a feeling that I would have to fight to get back my deposit. He said he would come over but never did. He finally showed up yesterday so he could show the apartment to a prospective tenant. Surprisingly, he gave me back my deposit. Anyway, the coolest thing happen yesterday. The tenant that saw the place was not only Filipino but was from Cebu. We had an instant connection because we spoke the same dialect and we had common acquaintances. She had a friend who went to school with my sister. What a small world. She made my life much easier when she told me I could leave some of my stuff in the garage. I was stressing on how I was going to transport the last few items I had left in the apartment. I didn't want to rent a van because it's too little but too big to fit in my car. I have about 2 or 3 more boxes to pack so I know I'm getting there.

My dream of going to Mysore is no longer a dream. It's a reality. It has really sunk in the past few days when I was packing all my things and cleaning my apartment. I'm really leaving. Dreaming has been much easier because you have total control. Living the reality is a totally different ballgame. There is so much uncertainty but I know deep in my heart this is what I want to do. I would be lying if I didn't have expectations. I do have a few which I will maybe discuss in the future. My expectations though are reasonably realistic. I keep telling myself to accept whatever comes and appreciate both the good and bad from my experience but it's not easy. Why can't I be like one of those people who just takes life as it comes and not worry about anything? For most of my life, the path which I have taken has always been a certain path or a known path. The path I am now taking is uncertain and unknown. When I board the plane this Sunday, I say goodbye to my "old life" and say hello to my "new life". Wish me luck.