With my hectice schedule here, I decided I needed some time alone. I decided to spend a couple of days (Friday and Saturday) in a quiet beach resort in Moalboal. Moalboal is located about 90 kilometers southwest from Cebu City. It's not very far but since the roads are tiny and the traffic is terrible, it took me 2 1/2 hours to get there and about 3 1/2 hours to get back. It is known for it's white sand beaches and it's beautiful marine life. I had intially intended in doing some scuba diving there but because of my problems equalizing, I decided to settle on snorkling. The days there were spent walking on the beach, soaking in the water and slowing myself down. I noticed that I really need to make an extra effort on slowing myself down. I am so used to being on the go and doing nothing is almost unthinkable. I always feel like I'm wasting my life if I don't do anything.
While I was in Moalboal, I remembered one of the things a friend told me before I left LA. He said, "I wish you find what your looking for." At first, I felt defensive and said I'm not looking for anything, I just wanted to pursue my dream and practice ashtanga with Guruji. Now that I think about it, I guess I am looking for something. Unfortunately, I don't know what I'm looking for and I may never figure that out. I think I'm looking for some balance in my life but I think I will be doing that all my life. I think this journey is about figuring out how I want to live my life. I am constantly reminded here how I should live my life. The questions I've been asked here are constantly the same...Are you married?...Don't you want to have children?...When do you plan to get married?...Why are you going to India?...I have a friend who is single, do you want to meet her? I know they mean well but it gets old really quickly. I feel like a broken record here, repeating the same answers to the same question. People here think that there is only one way to live life and any other way of life just simply throws them off. If I'm looking for anything, I know I will never find it here. Part of me is ready to go but I have one more week here and I still have a few more things I want to do before I leave.
Tonight I have dinner with a few college friends. I know that all of them are married and have children. I expect all of the same question above to be asked and my answers will be the same.