Road To Mysore

I thought my transition here in LA would be easy. I was wrong. Words to describe how I've been feeling since I got back...lost, disoriented, spaced out, weird, confused, strange, overwhelmed and out of place. Rhonda told me she felt weird the first week she arrived but felt better a week after. Noah said I should feel normal after 3 weeks(I don't have 3 weeks to feel normal). My friend Graeme sent me an email to describe how he felt when he first arrived...

Read yor recent blog entries and see you touched-down back home in one piece! Glad you got back safely. It's a bit strange being back, huh.... Here's some stuff I emailed anthea about being back in scotland...maybe you'll see some similarities...

Have a good one.
Graeme

I'm glad I'm not alone feeling this way but I need to snap out of it as soon as I can. I was supposed to start work on February 1 but decided to turn down the offer. I've been pushing myself to get ready and I think it's backfired at me. Mysore has taught me how to slow down but didn't teach me how to turn on the switch. I was ready to leave Mysore but I guess I was not ready to be in LA.

Last Tuesday I got to bed at around 10PM, hoping I could be awake by 5 or 6AM. I woke up at 1:30AM and couldn't get back to sleep. By 2:30AM, I didn't know what to do with myself so I decided to drive around the city. I took Santa Monica Blvd, from Silverlake to Santa Monica and took Wilshire from Santa Monica back to Silverlake. I was just so bored and spaced out, I really didn't know why I was driving or where I was heading.

On my way to Santa Monica, I stopped at an IHOP in West Hollywood. At around 3:00AM, I was starving and knew if I ate, I would have to skip practice that morning. I sat at the IHOP feeling like an outsider. It was strange to be sitting there watching people coming from a late night shift. I got home around 4:30AM and managed to get back to bed around 5AM.

In Mysore, if you got one or two errands done in the day, it was time relax and celebrate...bring out the champagne. Since getting back here, I've been doing 5 to 10 errands a day and still have 100 more to do. It never really ends. No wonder there are a lot of crazy people here.

Today I woke up feeling better. Still a little out of place but better. I don't feel totally at home yet. I got to practice this morning around 7AM. I couldn't figure out whose body I was in but managed to force it to start practicing. I started out sluggish but as I got going I felt better. I was happy to see Rhonda, Karrie and Amanda for the first time since coming back. There was no time for coconuts, so I didn't get to talk to any of them. They left before I finished. I'm hoping for a better practice day tomorrow(unless I wake up at 1:30AM again).

Last Tuesday, I moved in Laura's apartment. She's still in Mysore so she let me crash in her place while I look for my own place. She has a sweet apartment in a nice area, a few blocks from the shala. A few buildings away from where she lives, I saw an apartment for rent sign. I called them a couple of days ago and arranged to see it. Since living in Mysore, my standards are not very high, so if the place is half decent, I would take it.

This morning I met up with the property manager at 9AM and checked out the apartment. It was actually better than I expected. It has a lot of closet space, hardwood floors in the living room and carpet in the bedroom. I told the lady I would take it but she found out I was unemployed she got worried. I told her to check out my credit report and she requested copies of my bank statements. I faxed her my bank statements and she later told me I was good to go. I hope to sign the lease later this afternoon and start moving in tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting everything out of boxes. I think once I settle down I'll feel better about myself.