Road To Mysore

The Road to Mysore officially started in the week of November 9, 2003. I was doing an Advance Esalen Massage Workshop at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA. It is by far one of the most amazing places, especially if you are a bodyworker. This was the first time I did a 5 day workshop there. Most of the time I would only do the weekend workshop. The workshop started on a Sunday night and was to go on till Friday noon. The first night was the usual introduction, getting to know your teachers and about 25 other fellow workshop participants. We all introduced ourselves and gave a little background on our bodywork experience. It was a really interesting group. There were basically 4 groups of people in the class. The first group which was pretty obvious were the career bodyworkers. These were the people who had been doing bodywork full time for as long as they can remember. This has been the only career they have ever known. The second group were what I call 2nd career bodyworkers. These people at one point had a professional career and was just so sick and tired of the corporate world that they wanted something more satisfying. There was a computer engineer, a former New York chef, mortgage broker and etc.. The third group was the professional group. These we the people who had professional career and did bodywork strictly as a hobby. They included a financial advisor, businessman, computer administrator and university professor. The last group is were I fell in, that is the group between the third and the second group. The professionals who were sick of the corporate world and considering doing Bodywork as a career or maybe part-time career. There was an enviromental engineer and the CPA (that's me). The workshop was great in many levels. First the teachers were amazing technically and spiritually. My fellow workshop brought so much to the table. They all had different backgrounds but it was the second group which inspired me the most.

Every morning, Richard the former chef would be writing on his journal. One day I talked to Richard and I asked him what he was doing. He said he was just writing what ever thoughts he had and how he felt at the moment. I thought that was a cool idea. I actually tried it one day but just got frustated because I couldn't read my own handwriting and I would write really slowly and make so many mistakes. This was the first time I ever considered writing a journal. I found a better alternative - Blogging!!!

I met David the former computer engineer, who is now also going into accupuncture school. We spoke one night and I told him that I admired him for making the leap. He asked me what I was afraid of and what I wanted to do. I told him that I wanted to follow the 2 passions in my life (Ashtanga yoga and Bodywork). Then he asked me what was stopping me from doing it. The obvious answer was the money, I was not willing to give up the money at that time and second I would say friends, family and there expectations and lastly, fear of the unknown. He told me a lot of things I didn't want to hear and things I already knew but was not willing to accept but most of all he told me to follow my passion.

Everyday in Esalen was an exciting day. We would give and receive an average of 2 massages a day. The teachers were just awesome. I bonded with my fellow bodyworkers in class and outside class. During our breaks, we would trade massages on the decks or soak on the natural sulfur hot springs. Every morning I would find an empty room and practice yoga alone. One day, I had 3 massages, what a tough life. Peggy our teacher said that in Esalen massage, giving and receiving are one. I always knew that but it was never put that way before. We would be in the decks overlooking the Pacific ocean trading massages and it was just amazing.

On Thursday morning, after my yoga practice one of the workshop participants from another massage workshop approached me and said that I had a nice ashtanga practice. So I asked her if she practices ashtanga and if she wanted to practice with me. I later found out that she had been in Mysore for a month to practice with Guruji. I told her that I had always dreamed of practicing yoga with Guruji but just too afraid to go to India. She assured me that the school was located in a good part of the Mysore and that if a young German girl could go there alone there was no reason why I wouldn't be safe. I'm Asian for starters and I will easily blend compared to the Westerners who stick out.

The following morning we both had an amazing practice, hit the hot tubs and had breakfast. I told her I was really disappointed that we didn't meet much earlier in the week coz it's always better to practice with someone else. This was the last day of my workshop and I had to leave later that afternoon. I have to admit, not only was she beautiful, we shared the same passions. I really wanted to spend more time with her. During breakfast I found out she was married, I was disappointed but not surprised, the good ones are always taken. I really liked her and I think she liked me too but there was a reason why we met. She inspired me to go to Mysore and follow my dream. It was at this point I knew I was going to Mysore.

After breakfast, we went to our respective workshop. Our last session was probably the most amazing one. We all shared our experiences the past five days. We had all bonded inside and outside class. It was such a powerful experience that some of the participants cried. I knew I didn't want to leave. The last thing we did was we divided into two groups. The first group formed a circle lying down on the floor, the head was inside the circle and the feet were outside the circle. The second group gave the first group a 15 minute foot massage. After that, the first group gave the second group a foot massage. Peggy told us that since this our last day, it was a way to prepare us for our journey outside of Esalen. We even had hot towels to clean the feet. I thought it was really cool because the foot massage symbolized the begining of the journey I was about to take - "Road to Mysore". That was an exciting week, I am so grateful to my teachers, my fellow Bodyworkers and the German girl who inspired me to go to India. For some reason I can't remember her name. I left Esalen after lunch Friday afternoon and started my journey.

Two more days before April 15. To tax accountants, April 15 is like New Years Day or some amazing holiday. It's the day where we officially get back our life. After doing 50 to 55 hour weeks from February 1 to April 15, a 40 hour week is a piece of cake. This has been one of the most difficult tax seasons I've had and I've had a lot of them. I've been physically here all that time but in spirit, I'm already in Mysore. I really can't wait to go.

Since leaving Esalen last November, I've been working 7 day weeks and taking a day off here or there. On weekends and after 5:30PM, I've been picking up massage shifts at a spa in Santa Monica. In December and January, I was averaging about 10 to 12 massages a week. That might not seem like much but when you include a 40 hour week, that's a lot. In February and March, I had to drop to about 8 massages a week. My massage money went directly to my India bank account. I've also drastically cut back on various expenses so I can save even more. The advantage of working everyday is that you don't have to spend and you don't have to worry on what your going to do in the weekends. It gets tiring though so I'll take a day or two off.

"If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done"

Next week, I need to hit 10 to 12 massages a week again, maybe even 14. I'm in my home stretch. The more I save, the longer I can stay in Mysore, it's that simple. My target date is between July 15 to August 7. I hope to stay a month in the Philippines and 3 to 5 months in Mysore. The plan is to give up my apartment and put whatever little belongings I have in storage.

Last Saturday, I had a mini high school reunion in Las Vegas. Eleven of my high school classmates met up in Vegas. That's quite impressive considering that we were only 59 in my whole high school class and that we graduated in the Philippines. It was nice to see former classmate. Some of them I haven't seen in 10 years or more. We just hung out and talked all night. Most of them started arriving on Thursday and Friday. I got in Saturday night because of tax season, I had to work til 2PM and flew in at 6PM. I only had that one night with them but it was still worth flying in for. The following morning I road back with one of my classmates who lives in LA. Looking back, I have great high school memories.

This weekend, I'm treating myself. I'm going to my favorite place - the Esalen Institute. I'm doing a intro class in cranial sacral. I'm not sure what it's going to be about but I just wanted some time off. I think it's energy work. I'm schedule for an esalen massage at 5:30PM. I haven't had a massage in 3 weeks, I deserve one.

I had a weird dream last night. I got home and saw a group of young kids in my apartment. I didn't understand what they were doing there. I think they were trying to steal my stuff. I ignored them and went in my apartment to see if there was anything significant missing. I didn't talk to them or say anything to them. I realized nothing was missing and if there was it wasn't either expensive or something I would lose sleep over. I figured that I didn't really own anything of great value. I pride myself of being a minimalist. I was really upset though because they broke in and were just sitting around my apartment. I woke up really upset. Strange dream. What does this mean????

I got up early this morning to go to practice. I was easily distracted today. I go to a Mysore class in the Westwood but for some reason the energy in the room is not very focused. There's a lot of giggling and sound effects. I would rather practice with Noah but it's too far and there's no shower room. I work in Century City and the drive from Silverlake to work is a killer. All surface streets and bumper-to-bumper traffic. So for now, where I practice will have to work. For a working Ashtangi, the shower room is key. It basically gets you to work on time or a few minutes late. This was my third straight day and I normally rest on my fourth day. I try to practice 5 times a week but in a couple of weeks hope to bring it to 6. Preparing myself for Mysore. I've been doing this for the past 2 months and I can feel my stamina improving. The past 3 years my practice has been stagnant coz I was only practicing 3 times a week. I would drive to Noah's on Sundays and practice on my on the rest of the week. Sometimes you need the energy of the room to help you push further. It's funny because I use to live in Ft. Lauderdale and was practicing in South Beach 5 to 6 times a week and I never felt better. I decided to move to LA to be with Chuck, a senior ashtanga teacher. I think I practice with him for 3 to 4 months. I was actually quite disappointed. Unless you're a chick, you're not going to get a lot of help. So I practiced in Brentwood for a while but the energy on the westside is a little strange. Then I found Noah in Silverlake and I love the energy in the room. It reminded me of practicing with Eddie in New York. I've only practice with Eddie twice in my life but his had the biggest impact in my practice. When you enter his room, you can know it's all about the practice and not the teacher. He has a very humble presence about him, it's hard to explain.

The day finally arrived – April 15. I don't know how many more tax seasons I can go through but I'm sure there's not a whole lot more. Maybe my last, who knows. Every tax season I put on 10 to 15 pounds and I spend the rest of the year trying to lose it. It happens every year but I still do it. We're in the office until 8PM most days and since the firm brings in dinner, we eat whatever is served. We're too busy to eat anything healthy. Most days it's either pizza, pasta or Chinese. Top that off with my sugar addiction, it's a disaster waiting to happen. I seriously need to take care of myself. Tonight, I picked up a massage shift. I need to make some extra India money. It's strange coz I haven't given a massage in 2 weeks. I'm so used to giving at least 8 a week. I haven't received one lately too. I'm schedule for one tomorrow. On weekdays, I'll pick-up a 2-hour shift from 7 to 9:15PM. I have a 15-minute break between massages. On weekends, I'll pick up a 5-hour shift. I try not to do more than 4 massages a day. It can really drain you.

I woke up late this morning so instead of practicing at 7, I started at 7:30. I had to move quickly through my practice today. It was 4th straight day and I'm beginning to feel it. I haven't practice 4 straight days in a long time. The last time I did that was probably 3 years ago. I'm going to make it 5 straight days tomorrow. It will be interesting how my body will feel. I think I'll be a little cautious about not pushing myself too hard because I have to drive to Big Sur right after practice. I'm still debating on whether I should practice on Sunday on my own or just take the day off. Monday is a moon day so the prospect of having 3 days off is enticing. On the other hand, I should get myself ready for Mysore. I'll decide when I'm there. I'll probably go hiking on Saturday. I found a really good trail a couple of miles from Esalen.

Today I had lunch with a co-worker. She treated me for lunch coz I helped her get some stuff done. I really didn't mind helping her out coz she's really cool. I didn't expect her to treat me but she insisted. This was the first time we had lunch together alone. Normally we'll go in a group. We had an interesting conversation. I couldn't help saying to myself ‘God she's beautiful'. I have to be realist though. We live in two different worlds and I'm not interested in living in her world and I don't think she would want to live in mine. I think we could become really good friends though.

Started a blog last Friday but just deleted it. I didn't really have anything to say. My 55 hours/week in tax season has been officially replaced with 40 hours/week and 12 massages per week. This is the home stretch and there's no looking back. The next 3 to 4 months will be spent entirely in preparation for my 6-month journey (1 month in the Philippines and 5 months in Mysore, India). So many things need to happen before I can set sail. I think I've saved enough for the trip but you can never have enough. That explains the extra 12 massages a week. I also need the extra money when I get back from the trip. I hope that I had just gotten through my last tax season. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get back and I think that's part of my journey.

My weekend massage shift was not all that great. My first massage on Saturday was a 90-minute massage on a recently divorced 37-year-old lady with 2 kids. It was a gift certificate from her mother for her birthday. I somehow had a bad feeling about it from the very start but I still did my best to give a kick ass massage. Her back was a solid as a rock and she was a tense as hell. Anyway, after all my work she walked out seemingly happy, unfortunately she walked to fast. I know that my massage was not that bad, but she did not leave a tip. It's always bad when a client does not tip on a 60-minute massage, it's worst when they don't tip on a 90. You can always argue that she might not have had the money but when you live in the Pacific Palisades, there are no excuses. That was not a good way to start a shift. Thank God, my last 2 massages tipped above average, which made up for the first one. I don't think people realize how much goes on in a massage. It's not only physically draining but emotionally draining as well. I put my heart behind my hands on every massage. I think I should stop whining.

I skipped yoga this morning. I slept weird last night. Woke up a couple of times and just didn't feel like going and then when I decided to go it was too late. I decided to swim instead later today. I can't seem to sleep early enough to get up early. I'll try to get the get to bed early today.

Yesterday another friend of mine called. She was really upset because the managing partner of her accounting firm called her in the office. Apparently, the partner said, she didn't inform him she was going on vacation. She told him, that she did inform him but he denied it. I guess it was his word against hers. And since he's the managing partner and she's just the tax manager, guess who lost. He even called her in Hawaii while she was there. People in the accounting field make a big deal about little things. I think it's their way of feeling that what they do is important. I believe for the most part what we do is important but accountants have the reputation of “beating a dead dog to death�. Anyway my friend was so upset that she's considering on going to work for a non-profit or even a government agency where she doesn't have to bring home her work. The past few days, I've been speaking to all my friends from different accounting firms and they seem to tell me one thing – “What the f**k am I doing here?� I guess that just confirms my desire not to go back to public accounting.

Last night one of the massage therapists I work with called me. He wanted to schedule a massage with me. I think he heard from another therapist that I give a kick ass massage. When a massage therapist requests a massage from another therapist, it's not because he needs a massage. It's usually because he wants to learn from you, unless you've been working on each other on a regular basis. Getting a massage is one of the best ways of learning new techniques. You feel what's being done to you and decide if you want to use it in your own practice. That's also explains why therapist are the worst clients. As clients they can't relax because they spend most of the time figuring out what the other therapist are doing on them. They can also tell from the moment you touch then if you're a seasoned therapist or not. It's always flattering when another therapist wants to learn from you. We haven't set the date because we're both booked this week. It will probably happen next week.

This mornings practice was quite different. It reminded me of practicing in Miami. The room was unusually full and hot. I think we're having a heat wave here in LA. My sweat was dripping all over my mat and couldn't get a good grip on down-dog. It felt good though. I love the feeling of sweat when I'm practicing. My muscles are looser and I can easily move into the postures. Although I cut it short because of time constraints, I felt I had a good practice. I think the weather is going to be like this week. I'm already looking forward to tomorrow's practice.

It's strange how the weather could shift so drastically. A few days ago, we had a heat wave. This morning, it was cool again. My practice the last two days have been great. I love that heat. The room this morning was much cooler but easily heated up when it filled up. It's also been unusually full in class this morning. Most of the time 1/3 of the space is reserved for the closing sequence. Today, the whole room was filled. Notice some new faces and old faces I haven't seen for awhile.

Yesterday, I got the news that the LA Yoga Center in Westwood was closing down and was being bought by coporate-owned Yoga Works. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing but for the moment nothing will change. Our ashtanga teacher will still keep his schedule. The good thing is that I can go to other locations now, not that I really want to. They're turning into a Starbucks or even worst a McDonalds. They now have 5 locations (Montana, Main, Westwood, Beverly Hills and Costa Mesa). I also found out that the 2 founders of Yoga Works are no longer owners and may be moving to Hawaii. It will be interesting to see what will happen in the next few years. Yoga going corporate in LA – where else!!!

I am seriously considering moving my target travel date from mid July to mid September. Here are my reasons for postponing my travel date:

1. I still haven't heard from the INS regarding the status of my citizenship. I would really prefer travel with a US passport. My Philippine passport expires in the first week of August, so if don't wait for my citizenship, I would have to leave by then. I just want to get it over with. I need to be patient. I'm worried though that I may keep postponing and find other reasons to delay my trip.

2. I can save a lot in 2 months and since I have no intentions on going through another tax season, it doesn't matter when I'll leave. Originally, I was thinking of being in the Philippines in July and August and the staying in India until the end of December or mid-January. I know I'll always have a job in January because that's when tax season starts to kick in. If I leave in September, then I won't get to Mysore until October and will end up staying until March or even later since I'll have more money saved up. I think it will all boil down to when I get my US citizenship. I didn't expect the process to be this long. They say it normally takes one year or less. I sent my paperwork in March last year, had my finger prints in May, had my interview in October and should have had my oath taking in last February. Well it's almost May and I haven't heard from them. I'm afraid if I keep postponing, I'll eventually change my mind. On the other hand, I need to be patient and know that it will happen when it's ready to happen.

Today I finally decided to just do it. I've been feeling so sluggish with the extra weight I've put on the last few months. I decided to do my yearly detox at the Optimum Health Institute in San Diego. I always feel better when I leave that place. Any it's not only a physical detox but and emotional one too. I think I'll take some of Tim's classes while I'm there. I'm booked from the week of May 23 to 29. I'm looking forward to this week coz I need it really badly.