Road To Mysore

This morning's class was awesome. The class was packed and the room was really warm. I was dripping all over my mat. I love to sweat. It's such a cleansing feeling. I had my focus for most of my practice. Occasionally, I would take a glimpse at the guy practicing beside me. He had a nice practice. I think he was with Yoga Works. Although, the LA Yoga Center is now Yoga Works, I still feel like Yoga Works is still a totally different school. Anyway, my muscles felt so loose and seem to move more freely. The gigglers were all there but they were quiet today. Days like this make you look forward to your next practice. I was considering taking tomorrow off but I won't. After 4 straight days of practice, I normally like to take a day off. I think I'll take Thursday off instead or maybe not.

The mysore people have stopped blogging. I wonder what's happening there. I heard that there are less people now. I also found out that Noah & Kimberly are there but will be coming back next week. I haven't practiced with them since February. I'll probably visit in a couple of weeks. When I get back from India, I hope to practice there more regularly. For now, Westwood will have to work.

Two weeks from now, I'm going to the Optimum Health Institute in San Diego. I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to be doing some serious detoxing. I haven't decided if I should visit Tim Miller's school while I'm there. It's still a thought right now. I feel so weak when I do a detox so it might not be a good idea. I guess I'll play it by ear.

"Life can only be lived dangerously – there is no other way to live it. It is only through danger that life attains to maturity, growth. One needs to be an adventurer, always ready to risk the known for the unknown. And once one has tasted the joys of freedom and fearlessness, one never repents because then one knows what it means to live at the optimum. Then one knows what it means to burn your life's torch from both ends together. And even a single moment of that intensity is more gratifying than the whole eternity of mediocre living." Osho

There are days when I doubt my decision to quite my job and travel to India. On those days, I read this passage and it just makes me feel better. I will always have my doubts and fears. But I'm tired of mediocre living. I just want that single moment of intensity.

I think our ashtanga teacher is leaving Yoga Works – Westwood. This morning he passed around his address book in class. I asked him where he was going. He just said he wasn't going anywhere but just in case he was leaving he wanted to be ready. I wouldn't be surprised if he left. If he does I hope its sometime in September because I won't be here by then and when I get back, I'll probably practice with Noah. If he does go earlier, I hope the new studio will have a shower because that's why it works. We'll find out soon.

Today's practice wasn't great but wasn't bad either. I'm definitely taking tomorrow off. It's always good to rest. It think I'll stay with 5 days week for now. Hopefully after I get back from OHI I can bring it to 6 days a week but I won't pressure myself.

It's been one month since I started blogging. I'm actually enjoying this. I think I'll get better as time goes by. I've never been good at writing and I don't expect to be great at it either. But writing your thoughts, feeling and ideas is a good thing, I hope. I still haven't decided if I'm going to publish this blog publicly but if I do, it will be before I leave for India. Right now I don't think so.

I took yesterday off. After 5 straight days, I normally like to take the day off. I hope to eventually get strong enough to practice 6 days a week. I don't think it will be a problem when I'm in Mysore because all I'll be doing is practice yoga. No work, just yoga, eating and sleeping everyday. I think I'll do some socializing too.

Today's practice was pretty good. I finally got my hands to the floor on prasarita padottanasna C. I didn't realize how close my hands were already to the floor. This was a first so I'm really excited. I haven't had a break through for quite a while. I spoke to one of the assistance after class and he told me that there is a good chance that Jorgen is leaving Yoga Works – Westwood. I think the senior ashtanga teachers of Yoga Works want him out. I don't want to go into details but it's going to suck if that happens. I like the Westwood location because of the showers and I could easily get to Century City. If they move, we told them there has to be a shower. Practicing with Noah has always been my first choice but it's just too far. I would like to support Jorgen but it would depend on where he will set shop and if there is a shower. I would hate to support Yoga Works Incorporated. But if Jorgen doesn't find a suitable location, I may have to practice there before I leave. I knew something like this would happen. I was just hoping it would happen after I left.

I had a really good massage weekend and a so-so yoga weekend. The tips were good this weekend and I met a few interesting people. I worked on the daughter of a former US president, an art gallery owner and an accounting headhunter. I had a good conversation with the headhunter. I told her that when I get back from Mysore that I would be looking for temp work in accounting. She said they always have a lot of temp work for her biggest client (Warner Bros. in Burbank). It just dawned to me that Burbank is not far from Silverlake where I plan to live when I get back. I hope to practice with Noah and Kimberly. This weekend I also got a prospective client. He wants me to give him a 2- hour massage from 8-10PM once a week. Now those are the clients I've been looking for. He said his going to call me later this week. The private clients are the best because they pay top dollar and it's really feels good to walk out with cash. I love that feeling.

Yesterday and today's yoga practice was not that great. I felt really sluggish and I lost my focus early on. I'll do better tomorrow. I confirmed with our yoga teacher that he is looking for a new place. Yoga Works really wants him out. He said he saw a potential place in Venice and is looking hard for another location. He wants to be prepared before they drop the bomb on him.

I read Russell's blog this morning and it made me sad. Russell is a New York lawyer, recovering alcoholic currently in Mysore. He said a lot of things in his latest blog but what I felt bad about was the fact that he started drinking again. He was doing really well in the first 3 months but his demons got the best of him. Although I have never met the man, I was quietly cheering for him. I e-mailed him one time to tell him that I enjoyed his blog and that he confirmed my desire to practice with Guruji. Although he is down right now, he said that he was leaving next week and returning to Mysore late this year or early next year. Although his latest entry was quite depressing I did get something really important from it. He talked about his high expectations and how he had hoped that his experience would be life changing. It was life changing in many ways but fell short of his expectations. Since going back to drinking, his practice has digressed. This is important to me because I do have expectations and I realize that I should lower them and take things as they are and as they come. He also quoted David Swenson as saying that you have to look at you practice in terms of decades and not years. A good yoga practice does not happen overnight and sometimes you have to move backward before you can move forward again. That's a very humbling thought.

When I started this blog I made a commitment on pursuing my yoga practice and I know that I would have to give up a lot for it. Today, I realize that the stakes are much higher than I thought and that I would have to give up more than I expected. I don't think 5 months in Mysore is going to scratch the surface. I know now that I will have to travel to Mysore every year or so to develop my practice. I shouldn't think that far but I need to realize that this is a life long pursuit and there's no looking back. Russell leaves Mysore next week and heads back to New York. Although he is a stranger to me, I thank him for sharing his experiences and insights while in Mysore. I will remember him for his blog entry on “Why we go to Mysore to practice ashtanga yoga?� I wanted to link it to my blog but I'm not computer savvy. I will probably bump into him when I'm there later this year.

I finally got a call from an immigration officer today. He said that I was missing some employment information and I gave it to him. He said he would try to get me in the May 26 oath taking ceremony. If not than it will be in June. That changes everything. I was almost resigned to the fact that I would be leaving in mid September but I may just make my mid July target date. I cannot control my excitement. My heart is pounding. Oh my God, it's really happening!!!! I just realized that the sooner I get to Mysore the better. I hear it's empty right now since it's almost summer in the US and Europe. Whoopee!!!!

Next week I'm going to be in San Diego for my detox. I'm going to have to drive to LA for the day for the oath taking. I'm also going to need passport pictures because I need to apply for my passport immediately. My head is spinning right now. I'm really going. I think I'm better off doing my oath taking next month but if I get it next week, I'm not complaining. So much to do, so little time

Yesterday was a moon day. I needed the day off. I haven't heard from the immigration office yet. I should get a letter this week informing me that my oath taking will either be next week or next month. Either way I have to be prepared. I already got my passport pictures (2 for the passport & 2 for the Indian visa). I made a call to an Indian travel agent and she quoted me about $1,800. For some reason I expected it to be much higher. I had a conservative budget of about $3,000 but I'm not complaining. Since I'm flying with Cathy Pacific, my flight plan looks like this – LAX to Hong Kong to Cebu, Cebu to Hong Kong to Bangalore or Bombay, then Bangalore to Hong Kong to LAX. It would be much easier and cheaper to go straight to Bangalore from LAX but going to the Philippines will break up the travel time. The travel agent said I could get it cheaper if I travel after August 20, something I'm considering. If I do my oath taking this week, then I'll stick with my July 15 target date. Otherwise, I'll leave after August 20. I also need to start preparing my to do list and what I need to bring list, maybe this weekend.

I finally got a call from the private massage client that wants a 2-hour massage every week. I see him tonight. Yesterday, I was in the Santa Monica area and I walked past his condominium unit off Ocean Ave. It was sweet. Sometimes, I wish I quoted him higher but I didn't want to get greedy. Lets see what happens tonight.

I just found out that Noah & Kimberly are back from Mysore. I hope to drop by next weekend. I haven't practice there for a while. I need to ask them a few questions about Mysore.

Someone shared the following with Tom Case and he shared it at Esalen:

For me, the balance between doing and just being is the most important and dangerous question. If I am quilted or lured into achieving too much and lose the stillness at my center, then it takes me along time to regain it, and I do violence to myself or those I love because of fatigue and pressure. I have had to give up "winning big" because I love my life when I am connected to it and I hate it when it and I get caught in competition and deadlines. Then I have an overriding sense of impatience... my foot taps... I swallow food whole, I bump into things, I burn myself on the stove... I rip, and wrench, and tear. There is a violence that takes over every act and shrieks orders at me. I am finding that it takes a lot of time to be a person, to have a feeling of space and breath, a chance to sink into myself... as long as I take time every morning to light a candle to my life, it remains my life. But if I hurry into work without that small moment of quiet, then I've already lost myself, and the day. The task for me, is to care, daily, for myself and my life... to love and to nurture, within myself, moment by moment, the quality of quiet presence, quietly being present to my life, which sanctifies it... to live as if the candle is lighted.

I decided to put this in my blog for no particular reason. I like reading this when I feel stressed out. It help me look at life in a different perpective.

My first full day in OHI is basically over. I got in last night at around 7:30, had dinner, soaked in the jacuzzi and went to my room and started reading "Sidharta". I promised myself that I would read this book while I was here. After a few minutes I had to put the book down. I didn't realize how tired I was. I turned the lights off at around 10PM and went to bed. I woke up at around this morning about 5:30 and couldn't decide if I wanted to drive it Encinitas to practice in the Ashtanga Yoga Center. I knew Tim Miller would not be there because I read someone's blog but I still wanted to practice. So I drove 30 miles at round 6:30 and got there by 7:15. I didn't expect the traffic to be so bad at that time but I figured I would have plenty time to practice. Tim wasn't there but it didn't really matter. I just wanted to practice and enjoy the energy of the room. I was quite focused through my practice but would occassionally take a glimpse at the person doing the second series beside me.

If I still feel good tomorrow, I'll probably go back. I got back to OHI around 9:30AM, had breakfast and soaked in the jacuzzi. Later that morning, I went to see Dr. Olinger, a 78 year old chiropractor. He was highly recommended by someone, the last time I was here. I've been having problems with my neck lately. I feel like I lost some range of motion. I think it's because of my body mechanics when I give my massages. Sometimes, I'm just so tired that I forget to watch my body mechanics. Anyway, I told Dr. Olinger this and before he gave me an adjustment he gave me a long lecture. It was really quite interesting but I still trying to sort out what he told me. He talked about shielding myself and other things which made a lot of sense but somehow I cannot verbalize what he said. He loves to talk and it didn't bother me because he shared a lot of interesting insights. I need to reflect on what he said before I can write it down. They were really simple concepts but very deep at the same time. He later gave me an adjustment which made me feel much better but I think the really healing was what he told me. Everything is good the way it is as he said. He recommended a book by a spiritual healer, I forgot the name. I'll get back to it later. It's late right now and I just want to go to bed.

Today was the first juice fast day, watermelon juice for breakfast and vegetable juice for lunch. I'm supposed to juice all the way through Thursday but I decided to modify the program to suit me. So I'll eat something raw for dinner. I decided to go to Cilantro's in Chula Vista for dinner. Cilantro's is a gourmet raw food restaurant that is to die for. Unlike the food in OHI, it actually has taste. I had a sampler platter, which I normally get. After juicing all day, I felt like I was in food heaven. My goal for this week is to stay raw, although juicing would be more beneficial. I think eating raw will suit me better.

This morning, I made my way to Tim Miller's studio. Tim's was still in New York. It was not a Mysore class but it was still nice to practice. On my way back from Encinitas, I ran over this thing in the freeway. Unfortunately, it wrecked my back tire in the driver's side. I had to change that tire and it cost me $140. For some reason, it didn't bother me as much as I expected. I thought it should have bothered me more but it didn't. It was actually a strange feeling.

I decided to skip yoga this morning. I know Tim should be back by now but I promised a couple of people at OHI that we would go hiking at Torrey Pines State Park in La Jolla. I met Denelle yesterday and she said she would be interested in hiking. She asked Brad if he wanted to join us. I love hiking in Torrey Pines. It's so beautiful there. We parked along the beach and then hike along the road up the hill. When we reached the top, we took the trail down the beach. The Pacific coastline is so beautiful. I have been here many times but I am still awed by it's beauty. Brad and Denelle loved it too and thanked me for bringing them. They want to come back tomorrow and Friday. We hiked for about an hour and a half. We got back to OHI at around 2PM had our juice and hit the Jacuzzi.

Later that night, Brad and I went to Cilantro's for dinner. I wanted to invite Denelle but she wanted to stick to her juicing. We shared and sampler and had a cheeseburger each. It was the first time I had the cheeseburger. It was absolutely amazing. I don't know why I didn't try it earlier.