Road To Mysore

I have too much on my mind right now. I can’t get myself to focus and work. I’m in the middle of complicated tax return and I’m not in the mood for it…its Friday and so much has happened this past week. I’ve already spent 20 hours on it and I’m already sick of it. I’m a little out of my comfort zone. I can’t figure out how the prior accountants booked the damn M-1’s…I beginning to hate M-1’s. I need to work…this is going to be my last week of real work for the rest of the year. I can’t find it in me to get this damn thing done. What sucks about being an independent contractor is, if I don’t work, I can’t bill my time, which means I don’t get paid. I’m sitting here at work blogging and not getting paid…that sucks…oh well.

I got 5 days of practice this week…had to take Wednesday off…too tired. Today’s practice was pretty good considering that I didn’t sleep well. Anne my friend from Mountain View was supposed to drive in late last night/early this morning. I was a little worried that she was driving all alone tired. I told her if she can make it to Silverlake, she could crash in my living room. I left a key under the door mat so she can come in any time. She didn’t make it in last night. She crashed at a motel in Santa Clarita. If she only knew it was only 40 minutes from Silverlake she would have continued driving. She got to the shala this morning around 7:30AM and practiced. We had a short breakfast after practice. She had to pick up a friend in LAX and I had to head to work. It’s always a treat to see one of my Mysore friends from another city.

Yesterday I met Magnolia from San Francisco. She was in LA and practiced in the shala last Wednesday and yesterday. She used to practice with N&K. K told her I had an empty apartment in Mysore, so she emailed me about possibly being a roommate. I haven’t really decided if I want to have a roommate or not. I need to settle in before I can make that decision. Since she’s leaving on July 14, so I told her she can land in my apartment and decide if she wants to stay there or not. It’s an old 3 bedroom apartment unit and I’m told that the dog barks a lot at night. N&K didn’t like it but Simon Automatic stayed there for 2 months and he liked it. I’m a deep sleeper so I don’t think the dog will bother me. She told me she’s a light sleeper, so the dog might bother her. She’s aware that there’s not going to be very many good apartments available a week before Guruji’s birthday. I arrive the day before Guruji’s birthday, so securing the apartment was important to me.

I got a call from my friend Haigaz this morning. I met him when I use practiced with Jorgen in Brentwood. He told me last week that he was planning to go to Mysore for 3 weeks in November. He’s the head of the IT department for one of the Fox Companies. He told me this morning that his boss approved his vacation request. I can tell in his voice he was really excited…I envy him. There’s something really special about going to Mysore for the first time...it’s such a mystery. Living that mystery is priceless. I was more excited about leaving last year than I am this year. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still excited about leaving this year but the first trip will always have a special place in my heart. Anyway, Haigaz and I are going to have dinner on Friday next week. He’s going to have a list of questions for me. I’m going to do what Kimberly did for us (LA crew) before we left last year. I’m going to make a list of things he might want to bring, refer him to Penny (LA shala’s official travel agent. N&K, Abby, Magnolia and I are using her…she rocks!!!), list of what to expect and what not to expect. I’ve already given him his India visa options. He decided his doing the visa camp in Artesia. I think his going with a really good attitude. I don’t think his going to be one of those complaining westerners. I told him to expect the worst. Vincent once told me before my first trip, “Nothing can prepare you for India…even the Philippines.� He was right. I got my first shock when I arrived in Mumbai…not even Manila could have prepare me for Mumbai. I told him that the quicker he can get over the shock, the more he would enjoy his stay. I think he’ll survive. I hope he doesn’t become one of those crazy people who quit his full time job so he can go to Mysore every year. I don’t want to be responsible.

A notice was posted today at the shala. Matt Corigliano (Dominic’s son) will be taking over the shala on July 17 for 2 ½ months. N&K will be back in LA for two months in October. I think Matt is a great teacher. He’s assisted N&K the past 2 summers and everybody loves him. Too bad, I won’t get practice with him. I’m out of my apartment on the 15th and will be staying with my brother in Orange. I already told Vincent I would practice with him in Long Beach on that day…if I still have a car. Oh well…I shouldn’t complain, I’m going to be practicing with Guruji, Sharath and Saraswati anyway.

I spoke to Penny (our travel agent) this morning. I’ve decided to skip Bangkok. Luke is moving to Bangkok in August. I was planning on visiting him on my way back in December. The flight from Kuala Lumpur to Bangkok is about $400…I can’t afford that now. See…if I can only get my ass to work, I could pay for this stuff. So I told Penny I wanted to do the 3 days/2 nights in Kuala Lumpur for about $150 and maybe another 3 days/2 nights in Langkawi. I think Langkawi is going to be a little more expensive. I might skip that and do it next year. I’m just waiting for the quote. If I skip Langkawi, I’ll spend a few more days in Kuala Lumpur. Penny is pushing for Langkawi. She highly recommends it. The brochure describes the place as an untouched cluster of 99 islands in the Andaman Sea…sounds like some of the Philippine Islands. I have to finalize my travel plans early next week…Tuesday the latest.

Tomorrow, I’m meeting C at Hermosa Beach. I’m trying to live the moment but I have so much to do before I leave. I’ve only been to Hermosa Beach a few times. C loves going there. I’m more of a Santa Monica Beach person. She’ll be there in the morning and I’ll meet her for lunch around 1PM. I’m packing stuff in the morning and bringing it to storage. Then I have to go to REI and return some stuff I bought. I’ve been over-shopping lately…no more shopping for me. Hopefully I can get there by 1PM.

Shit!!! It’s 5PM already and I haven’t gotten anything done today. No work, no pay…and who said the world was perfect?

I've barely settled in this place...it hasn't felt like home yet. I don't know if I could ever call Silverlake home or this apartment home. I've always felt at home in the westside and if you ask me now, I'll probably move back to that area.

The past few days, I started the process of packing the little that I have. I've placed about 5 boxes in storage already. I've moved many times but you never get used to it. I don't know what it is about moving, it's always stirs up emotions...fear, excitement, apprehension, sadness, doubt and more fear. I know deep in my heart, I'm doing what I want to do but I can't help but second guess myself...what does the future have in store for me? This journey has been all about living in the present but having no clue about the future scares the hell out of me. It's difficult to live life in the present when you've spent 95% of your life living in the future. I'm told that if I live in the present, the future will take care of itself...yeah, and that should make me feel better?

In my heart, I've made peace with M. I've resented her approach to the practice. We've never really talked about it but I think we've reached a happy medium. She no longer gives me long lectures in the middle of my practice. She lets me be and occasionally gives me adjustments. She still talks to a few other students during practice. I've learn to just block it out...it's not always an easy thing to do. When N&K was here, they always maintained the space. There was very little distractions. They would not allow it...the space was scared. I miss that space.

I had a nice conversation with M before practice today. We're taking the same flight to Bangalore and had talked about sharing the same ride to Mysore. She's bringing a lot of things so we decided to rent out a Qualis (India's version of an SUV). I initially thought an Ambassador would suffice. I told her I was bringing a juicer and we talked about eating raw in Mysore. She gave me some really good tips about how to wash the vegetables, the electric voltage situation and stuff like that. She suggested that I get my juicer in India. I don't think they sell juicers in India. I'm glad we talked.

Just got the news today...the shala will close from July 18 to 23. There will be two parties...one on the 20th and another on the 21st. I'm told that the party will be held in a hall and that invitations will be issued to the students. K will try to get us invitations before we arrive. We may not get to register the day we arrive. I would hate to miss the party.

My first practice in the shala will be the 24th. My departure from Mysore is on December 28. I would hate to pay the extra 4 or 5 days. Guruji's very expensive when you pay by the day. I'm considering on changing my ticket to the 25th or 26th instead. I don't want to miss Joseph's Christmas Eve party...I had a blast. Maybe Gee, Anthea and I will have another concert in the Southern Star...ha ha ha. Gee are you out there?

I don’t know why I’m overly excited today…it must be all the good karma that’s happening. First I got an email from K saying that she has a friend from New York who wants to rent one of my rooms until the end of July. I don’t have the best apartment so the fact that this guy wants a room means there is already a shortage of apartments in Gokulam. There are still two weeks before Guruji’s birthday and more people are expected to pour in. I’ve been questioned about my decision to lock into an average apartment from June to September. Yes…I could have done better but I didn’t know the other landladies and I was comfortable with Shobha. Checking into the Green Hotel was never an option...I wanted to settle down as soon as possible. I haven’t arrived yet and I’m happy with my decision. Arriving in Mysore and going straight home…priceless. There won’t be a shortage of roommates when I arrive too. The cool thing is I may just decide not to have a roommate in the long run. In the meantime, I’m happy to share my apartment with the New Yorker and Magnolia.

I also found out today that the Big One from New York rented the unit on the second floor…so cool. I have always respected and admired him as a teacher. I have considered moving to New York many times just to practice with him…maybe one day, too many fears to conquer at the moment. I have no expectations but I wish I get a chance to sit and chat with him. I spoke to him briefly last year. Most of the senior teachers are not very accessible so if I get the chance to chat with him…that would be so sweet.

This morning, I got confirmation from Barath Travel regarding our airport pick-up. We’re paying Rs 2,300 (approximately $54) for a Qualis. The Ambassador is only Rs 1,600 but since I’m sharing the ride with M, I’m only paying Rs 1,150…very worth it. It’s about a 4 hour ride so the more comfortable we are the better.

Don’t laugh…but I finally mailed out my tax return. I’m normally really good about that but this year there was no incentive to get it done right away. What ever little refund I was going to get was going to be applied to my 2005 estimates anyway. I’m glad I got that out of the way.

I spoke to my travel agent this afternoon. We’re trying to finalize my itinerary…looks really good. I don’t want to jinks it but I’ll be paying approximately $300 for 3 days/3 nights in Kuala Lumpur and 3 days/3 nights in Langkawi. This includes airport to hotel transfers, hotel of course, breakfast, round trip airline ticket from Kuala Lumpur to Langkawi and I think some tours (that I need to confirm this). This will of course happen on my way back from Mysore. Malaysia here I come…wooohooo!!!

This Friday will be my last day of work. I will once again be officially unemployed…wooohooo!!!

Yesterday was the last day of work...it felt like the longest day in my life. Nothing was working out right. I thought all I needed to do was hand over the clients I wasn't able to finish and prepare an open item list. No...that wasn't the case yesterday. I had this one return that had to be done before I left. I wish it was an easy one. At time of the year, the easy ones are already done and the pain in the butts are the once that haunt us. This particular return was a partnership which had a weird-ass, funky special allocation in which I had no clue how to go about. I tried to talk to the partner in charge but he was too busy for me and when I got to corner him, I felt like it was way over my head...some sort of exotic investment deal reminiscient of a 1031 exhange. This partner is a really nice guy but his so technically up there, he doesn't know how to stoop down to my level and explain things...I hate that. So I ended up talking to the client and asked him to explain the deal...I felt like a moron by then. When I finally got a generally grasp of the deal, I had to figure out to work it mechanically. Now remember, it's my last day and it's a Friday...my brain doesn't work on those days. I should have been cruising that day. One of the newer staff came to me...I'm not sure if he had a question or if he just wanted to socialize. I just looked at him and said, "Leave me alone!" I gave him that leave me the fuck alone stare...poor guy. He walked away. I eventually got help from one of the managers who knows the software really well and she showed me how to override the damn thing. By 3PM, I got the whole thing straighten away...I was mentally drained. My brain is not used to thinking/analysing...it's in Mysore mode already. After that I had to tie up a few loose ends and chatted to a few of my co-workers. One of the partners said, "See you in January?" He didn't give me a chance to answer the question. I'll probably sit and talk to him on Monday. Although I'm no longer working, I have to drop by next week to do my time sheet and submit my invoice...the time sheet software was being up graded and we weren't allowed to go in it.

So the numbers are all in. I came way short of my projected earnings this year. I have enough to get me to Mysore and back plus maybe a month or two of cushion...and the key word is "enough". Which probably means I won't get to buy my scooter :( I guess I'll have to rent the crappy ones they have in Mysore...oh well.

Maybe Noah was right when he told me that it would take me 4 months to adjust back to LA. I don't think I hit a reasonable stride until about a month ago. It's ironic how it only took me one or two days to adjust to Mysore and it took me 4 months to adjust back to LA...what an up an down journey it's been, this coming back to LA business.

I had dinner with my friend Haigaz last night. He's the one whose going to Mysore for the first time this November. He had about a two page list of questions which I answered...I hope my answers were right, ha ha ha. He said, he wouldn't have planned to go to Mysore if I wasn't there. I think the best thing I told him was, "Expect the worst and then embrace it. If you can get past that, then you'll have a grand time. Nothing can prepare you for India...that's the beauty about it." I remember when I told him last year I was going to Mysore, he said, "I don't think I could go there." It sounded more like, "Over my dead body...my ass ain't going to India." And that was only a year ago...what a difference. This practice really changes you...not only physically. It's really a much deeper practice than most people realize...cannot be explained, can only be experienced. Like K always reminds me, "It's not about the asana."

There's just not enough days to get all the things done. I seem to be either cleaning, packing, driving to storage, doing errands and more packing...I haven't made a dent. I know the next 5 days is going to fly...it's been flying since last Friday...where the hell did the day go. Blogging has become a luxury. The big clean out is on Thursday...rented a van to put the big stuff in. I've been feeling desperate so I called a my old cleaning lady...I need major help. I turn over the apartment on Friday...shit, I'll be homeless again. Homeless and unemployed...good combination, ha ha ha.

Me and my big mouth...I seriously need to do something about that. I jinxed my whole Malaysia side trip. Not even a side trip to Kuala Lumpur...nada. I don't want to go into details but I think my travel agent got me overly excited. Langkawi ended up like $120/night and Kuala Lumpur was another $90/night...to much for my blood. Decided to completely cancel the little detour. Note to self...next year do the side trip before heading to Mysore, December is peak season...outrageous prices.

My sister and her husband was in LA this weekend. I hung out with them at my brother's house. My brother decides to call the parents...caught me unprepared. I ended talking to the parents. The conversation was best described as...awkward. Mom was trying to reach out to her "lost son", while "lost son" didn't know what to say, his kinda given up on trying to explain his aimless wandering...no future in sight. Parents disappointed "lost son" not going home to the Philippines this year..."lost son" speechless. Older brother and sister goes after "lost brother" for being selfish and heartless...what to do, definitely lost.

What a difference a day makes. I love my cleaning lady. I think I’m going to marry her…on second thought, maybe not. I love her anyway. What she did in 4 hours would have taken me 4 days. My kitchen and bathroom are spotless. I feel much better now. I’m sure I’ll get everything done by Friday. About 70% of my things are already in storage and I’ve also arranged for all the other stuff like utilities and banking requirements. I got my final paycheck for the year…scary, no more money coming in for the rest of the year.

Funny…I just got a call from one of my headhunters asking me about my availability…well I’m available on the first week of January 2006. They seem to be calling at the wrong time. This particular headhunter is a national firm but they don’t seem to have there shit together. They’ve offered me a few full time jobs, one as far as Long Beach. I clearly stated during my interview that I was only looking for per diem work and I want to be close to home. My regular header is a boutique firm, specializing in public accounting. He’s really good because he doesn’t waste my time with work I’m not interested in. He’s also very professional. I can always dump this headhunter but I think it’s best that I keep my options open…you never know.

This morning practice was my 4th straight day. I was feeling sore today but I think I’m getting back my stamina…back to 10 A’s and 10 B’s, great way to warm up. Mari B is feeling great…my shoulders are more open, no more assistance needed in binding…wooohooo!!! Can’t wait to show Sharath and Saraswati that I can bind on my own. Mari C is coming along too…no doubt in my mind it will happen. When? Don’t know…who cares. All is coming…

I had my internet cable disconnected today. I returned the modem this morning. I found out that one of my neighbors has wireless internet which my computer can pick up. I paid $29.95/month for 5 months. That could have paid for my zoom lens…moron. That’s the price of being computer illiterate…oh well.

It's 4 AM and I'm wide awake. I got to bed around 12 and just woke up. I must have slept well because I don't feel tired at all or it could be my adrenaline. All this preparing and moving has stirred up a lot of emotions. I have so much energy inspite the fact I've been getting only 5 to 6 hours of sleep all week. I woke up thinking about all the things I need to do today. I'm worried I might forget something. I've been on this road before...I should be an expert by now. Why do I feel like a newbie? I've gone through my list and I know I've got most of my stuff covered.

The opens in about an hour. I'm really anxious to get this day started. Life doesn't start until after practice...for me anyway. It's this practice which gets me through the day.

The last 2 days just flew by. Too many things happened...it's all a blur. The move last Thursday and the apartment turnover last Friday was so exhausting. I don't know if I want to do it again next year. My thoughts right now are to rent a room when I come back and keep most of my things in storage. I know it's too far ahead to be thinking about things like that but the move is still fresh in my mind. I should have hire those guys that hangout in the truck rental place. It would have saved me time and energy.

This morning I practiced with Vincent in Long Beach. It was a great practice. I gave it all I had since I'm going to be on a 14 hours plane ride to Kuala Lumpur. I hope I can sleep through most of the trip. Anyway, Vincent gave me some great adjustments in Mari C and pavrita trikonasana. I normally don't do dropbacks but he help me do them today. I enjoy doing dropbacks but don't do it with N&K or with Sharath & Saraswati...it will happen one day.

In about 9 hours I board Malaysia Airlines Flt 95 from LAX. My plane leaves at 1:40AM tomorrow. I hope to be in the airport around 10:30PM tonight. I have a few more loose ends to attend to and after that it's...Adios LA.

I got in this morning at around 3AM...what a long trip. The cab dropped off Maia first and I helped her get her things in the apartment. When I got to my place, I was calling for Magnolia but she didn't answer. I ended waking Shobha up and the rest of the neighborhood...the dog started barking. When Shobha tried to open the door, it was locked from inside so that's when we realized that Magnolia was inside. I called out once again and finally woke her up and she opened the door. Shobha said something really sweet this morning when I asked her if she was happy to see me. She said that, "It's like a brother had come home." I was happy to see her as well. She has always been good to me. I think we have that "Asian connection" going on. She made it clear this morning that she wanted me to stay in her place as long as I want. Moving out does not seem like an option. She's committed the place to someone else in October so she might tell them to take the one bedroom upstairs...we'll see how things go.

I finally got to bed around 4:30AM and woke up around 7:30AM. I was too excited to sleep in. Magnolia was practicing when I got up so I didn't bother her. I headed out to the ATM to get some money for the shala. When I got back home I saw Shobha again briefly. She's arranged for a cleaning lady to clean the apartment everyday and do my laundry for 250 ruppees/month. I told her, I would get her a little more. I can't give her too much because the locals get mad. The westerner are raising the market price. I love the fact that I don't have to do laundry and clean the apartment while I'm here.

At around 8:30AM, I headed to the shala to get my invitation. I was met at the gate by Badur(the shala security guard). I told him I just arrived this morning and that I wanted to see if I can talk to Sharath or Saraswati to get an invitation. He went in to see if they were available. A few minutes later, Sharath comes out. I told him I just arrived this morning and wanted to go to the party. I think Kimberly told him Maia and I was arriving because he had an invitation in his hand. Sharath says, "Joy(that's how Indian tend to pronounce my name), how do you spell your name?" I spelled it for him and them he asked me to spell my last name too. I didn't expect him to know my last name but I was happy he knew my first name. I thanked Sharath and headed out.

Badur and Guruji's driver met me at the gate as I was leaving and asked me in an espionage way, where I was going. I told them I was hungry and I was heading to Tina's for breakfast. They whispered to me like they were selling drugs and asked me if I wanted a scooter. They caught me by surprised because I thought all the scooter would be gone by now. I said, "Yes, I want a good scooter." Badur remembered the red scooter I drove last year and he told me that the scooter he has was much better. I told him to bring it on...I was like how sweet is it to get an invitation, a cleaning lady and scooter within 6 hours after arriving. Within minutes, they presented me with a scooter which was much better than what I had last year but not as good as the one I got in Goa. For Mysore standards, it was sweet. They must really trust me because they let me take the scooter even if I didn't have any money. I told them I would pay them this afternoon. I found out later that morning that one of the girls at breakfast had been waiting for a week to get a scooter. She asked me how I did it. I told her if she understood the "Asian ways", you can get anything you want without trying. It can't be taught, you have to grow up with it. In the bigger scheme of things, it's doing the suttle things which count. We're all here to be with Guruji but spending time with Sharath, Saraswati, Badur, Guruji's driver, the coconut man, Tina, Shobha, Shiva and all the locals are almost just as important. Essentially, they are all just one. In western culture, we're taught that the fastest way get from point A to point B is a straight line. In asian culture, the best way is to go through the back door.

By the time I got my scooter it was already 9:30AM, so I headed to Tina's. I saw Tina and gave her a big hug...I love this lady, she's been like a mother to me. I saw Drucilla, who I met last year and joined her table. The first thing so told me was, "I thought you weren't coming until September." That's what I thought too. I had a large fruit salad and Tina's "to die for" fenugreek roti with tomato chutney. Tina's said, "No vegetable omellete and toast today?" I told her, I was watching what I was eating. She said, "No honey, not in India. Here you eat."

During breakfast, Spanish Vanessa from England approached me. She gave me a hard time for deleting one of the comments she made in my blog. I mercifully explained to her why I did it. Hopefully, she'll forgive me. We chatted a bit and went our different ways. I told her I would have offered her a ride but I just arrived and was still getting used to driving. I don't think I'll be driving to the city this week.

After breakfast, I headed to see my former landlord, Taresh and Anita. I chatted with them a bit too. I was just happy to see them. They have always been good to me. I still have my massage table and a chest full of clothes and personal belongings. I told them I would pick up some of the stuff later this afternoon.

From there, I headed to Kalidasa Road to check my mail at the Reliance Webworld. On my way there, I saw Vanessa once again and felt comfortable driving the scooter. I offered her a ride and she hopped on. I think she didn't realize how big a risk she was taking...oh well. We both made it there alive but when I got to the Webworld all the computers were being used. So I decided to use the computers at Anu's instead. Oh, it's 1:15PM, time for lunch....that's life in Mysore...your either having lunch or breakfast.

Thank God, I made it safely back home...nuff said.

I resisted taking a nap all day yesterday. I want to get over this jetlag as soon as possible. My adrenaline carried me through most of the day but at around 4:30PM I had to close my eyes.

At 5:30PM, I rushed to Gokul Chats to meet up with Abby from LA, Nick of Wales and Rolf. We were all going to meet there before heading to Guruji’s party. I desperately needed something to get me through the night so I got myself a large masala chai…the best masala chai in Gokulam. The party was held at the H. Kempegowda Memorial Hall a few miles from the shala on the other side of KRS Road. After we finished our drinks, we scootered our way to the party.

We got there a little past 6 and the hall was still 1/3 full. All the women were decked out in their saris…what a sight to see. I saw Rachel from LA shala for the first time. She had been in Mysore since the shala opened in June. It was fun to see people who I met last year. By 7PM the huge hall was filled to the brim. I estimate there to be at least 400 people…maybe more. What was impressive about the party was not how many people were there but who was there. I’ve always thought of myself as no longer being a “newbie� but in this crowd I was a “super newbie�. I think if you’ve been coming to Mysore for 5 years or less, you would still be considered a “newbie�. There were a shitload of very very very senior students who have been practicing with Guruji for over 20 years. Name anybody you would want to practice with outside of Mysore…they were there. The coolest thing was that regardless of seniority, we were all students…Guruji was the only teacher in that room. I had a blast talking to a lot of these super senior students. You learn so much by being around them.

Guruji looked good and was very happy to see his students…you could see it in his face. I was told that there were a lot of students who haven’t been back in Mysore for over 10 years. That made Guruji really happy. You can tell that that the senior students have a special place in his heart because when he makes eye contact with them, he just glows…maybe one day he’ll have a small space for me. A lot of the senior students are here for only a few days or few weeks just to celebrate his 90th birthday. I did not try to speak to Guruji last night…too many people, but when I went close to the stage to take his picture, he recognized me and gave me a smile…priceless.

The night started out with some Sanskrit chanting from students of a Sanskrit College. Then an Indian musical performer sang all night. Dinner was served at around 9PM. We were all starving by then. Later that evening, I finally got the chance to talk to N&K. K introduced me to one of her New York friends and I told her that I have abandonment issues. K told her that my life has gone downhill since practicing with them…unemployed, carreerless, homeless, aimless and all that good stuff.

I headed home around 10:30 and probably got to bed around 11:30. I resisted sleeping earlier to get over the jetlag…it didn’t work. It’s 3:30AM right now…I’m wide-awake.
This has been my first 24 hours of my 5-month stay here in Mysore. If this is any indication on what lies ahead…I’m in trouble.

There is no other place I would rather be at this very moment…

Damn it…I thought I’ve gotten over the jetlag. I got to bed around 10:30 last night and was hoping to wake up around 5AM. It’s 2:30AM and I’m wide-awake. I’m in for another long day today.

Yesterday was Guruji’s main birthday party. It was pretty much the same party as the night before. There were some musical performances, a short presentation for Guruji’s charitable organization, which the student’s set-up and then the long line for us to personally, greet Guruji. I paid my respects, greeted him Happy Birthday and gave him a gift. I didn’t want to say anything else because the line was very long and I could see he was getting tired. Lunch was served while others lined up to greet him. There were just as many Indians as there were westerners this time. I think the day before I over-extended myself and over-socialized. I spoke to a few people but for the most part, I just sat, listened and soaked it in. I said goodbye to a few friends who I knew were leaving soon. Next week, Gokulam will be a much quieter place. It was fun to have everybody around but I’m ready for a smaller crowd and some serious yoga.

I don't have anything else to say so here are some pictures from Guruji's Birthday.

Western students at the party

Richard Freeman presenting Guruji with a gift

Guruji with family

Guruji with the Darby family

Having chai at Gokul Chats before the party with Nic of Wales and Eva...best masala chai in Mysore

Drucilla, Tracy and two of the famous "3 Sisters" at the party

A few nights ago, I spoke to Shobha about the apartment situation. She had already committed this apartment to a family from October to March, which means I have to be out of this place by the end of September. She wanted me to take the one bedroom upstairs but for some reason, I want at least a two-bedroom apartment…why? I don’t know but that’s what I want. Anyway, I told her I would look at the one bedroom but was more incline to getting another unit elsewhere.

Last night, she approached me and told me that her children want me to stay. Robin (her son) and I have become good friends. They would send an email to the other person and offer him the one-bedroom apartment. Shobha knows that I am looking for an apartment to rent on a yearly basis or indefinitely. I no longer have an apartment in LA and will probably rent a room when I’m there. I don’t want to do the whole packing and unpacking thing anymore. I hope to leave most of my things in storage and just take out the things I need for work and yoga. Essentially, I’ve decided that Mysore is my home and LA is what pays for it. So Shobha told me last night that the apartment is mine as long as I want it. I told her, I would take it. I am no longer homeless…

Today, Robin helped me move my massage table in and rearrange the furniture. I am so excited!!! I feel like I’m starting a new life…sweet. I have so many ideas on how I’m going to furnish my place. I know I’ve said this many times but I’m going to say it again…Mysore is my Home…I like saying that.

Last night I had dinner alone at the Green Leaf. An older couple approached my table. I asked them if they would like to join me. They said yes and sat across me. I introduced myself and they introduced themselves. OMG…your Stephanie’s (Ashtanga Traveler) teachers…what a small world. Stephanie must have been biting her lips all night because we talked about her most of the night. They were such a cool couple and we did talk about other things besides Stephanie. I told them I would love to visit New Zealand one day and practice with them…maybe next year. What started out as a quiet dinner ended up to be a very enjoyable and interesting dinner.

This morning I woke up a 3:30AM and got out of bed at 4:30AM…much better. I missed a lot of practice this week so I decided to practice. I had a great practice. I love the energy of my home/shala. I was pretty focused and it was an easy practice. I’m looking forward to being at the shala though…two more days.

I got up this morning around 4:30AM…much, much better. Started practice around 5AM…good practice. Lost a little steam on the seated postures…still good considering. I’ve been feeling a little over-socialized (not sure if there’s such a word) so I decided to have breakfast at home. I sat in my living room and soaked it in…it’s nice to be home.

After breakfast, I headed to the shala to pay for my first month’s shala fees…26,900 rupees, painful to have that much money leave your hands but worth every rupees. I’ve missed Guruji the past few days (yesterday I overslept and I don’t know what happened the day before) so I wanted to make sure I could pay before the shala opens tomorrow. Luckily he was there. You can never know what to expect when you’re with
Guruji. Based on our conversation today, it seemed like he did not remember me from last year…oh well. I knew it would take time. I had to remind him I was from LA, I practice with N&K (that always helps because he really loves N&K) and that I was here last year. Got that done and then rushed to the Green Hotel for the farmer’s market. I arrive a little past 10:30AM…much too late, all the good stuff was gone.

Headed back home to meet up with Shobha. She was going to take me to the market in her car. She knew I wanted to buy a lot of things for the apartment so she offered to take me to the right places and haggle for me…I’m so terrible at haggling. I paid 800 rupees for a new bed, which I would have ended up paying over a thousand rupees on my own. I bought a lot of kitchen stuff, fruits and other household stuff…I spent too much. I’m definitely going to be broke by December…no question about that. It’s the tail end of jackfruit season so we went out of our way to get one of my favorite fruits. I purposely stayed in the car and let Shobha do all the haggling. She paid 35 rupees for a whole fruit. I remember paying 80 rupees for the same size last year…oh well. I think she saved me about 500 rupees today plus it was nice having a car with all the stuff I bought. I still have a few things in my list so I’ll be heading back to the market the next few days.
At least I got the bulking items out of the way. Tomorrow, I can just scooter my way back to the city for the smaller items.

I went to visit Rashmi, my Kanada teacher later that afternoon. She is such a sweet young lady. I told her I want to resume my Kanada studies in a few weeks. I’m a little more serious about learning the language this time. She told me she wants to resume serving breakfast to the yoga students. I told her I would support her the best that I can but reminded her that I am very close to Tina. I have known Tina from the first week I arrived in Mysore on my first trip. She has always taken care of the LA crew and she is a personal friend of mine. Rashmi also showed me the one bedroom she had rented out and asked me for my opinion on it. I told her it was too small but had a lot of potential. If she could only make it bigger, add a bathroom, small kitchen and windows in all sides, she could easily rent it out. Her house is surround with big trees and the room in on the rooftop with no obstructed view and wind coming from all directions. If I had the extra money I would have given her the money to renovate it but she also has some family issues on the house…long story and very personal.

I headed to the Reliance Webworld after my chat with Rashmi. It’s still the best place for fast inter-net connection. I had a lot of emailing to do and Anu’s can be slow at times. I must have been there for over two hours because the next thing I knew, I ran out of time…too lazy to recharge it so I headed out. I bumped into Tina and her family at the Café Day and decided to join her. She asked me where I’ve been. I told her that it’s been strange walking into her place without the crew. I’m not particularly ready to start building new bonds. She told me that those of us who return always go through that. Russell and I talked about that last year. She suggested that I should come and visit her in the afternoon or evening if I needed to chat. She told me that I am always welcome to her place even if it’s close. I will probably take her up on that.

I’m so glad I bought that new bed. I woke up at around 5 this morning. It was the best sleep I’ve gotten since I arrived. I slept through the night undisturbed. I was told by Guruji to come at 7AM so I had more than enough time to get ready for my first day of practice. I decided to get to the shala early hoping to start earlier. There were still a lot of people at the waiting room…maybe going early was not a good idea. I didn’t get in until 7:15AM. Last of the “one mores� must have been around 7:35AM.

Of all the 50 or more spots at the shala, I got the one right in front of Guruji’s chair. There’s no room for slacking when you’re in that spot. Before I started, I took a quick look around the room. Alex Medin was on my right, two or three mats to my left was Dena Kinsberg, Tim Miller was on my back left side, John Scott was on my back right side, Johnny Smith was further in the back and Noah was on the stage doing his finishing postures. I couldn’t help but think…how wild is this, surrounded by “certified students�…only in Mysore. There must be at least 20 to 30 “certified students� and 40 to 60 “authorized students� right now. Can you imagine the kind of energy these people bring into the shala?

When I finally got over the awe of my surroundings, I proceeded with my practice. My muscles felt exceptionally loose and just went through practice effortlessly. The thing about being at the shala is the energy is so intense you don’t want to leave until your totally spent. It felt good to be back at the shala.

Later that morning, Robin (Shobha’s son) accompanied me to the city to get more things I need for the apartment. Before heading to the city, we past by his friend’s house (Mani). Mani asked me if I could look at one of his vacate apartments and give him some advice. He wants to renovate it so he could rent it out to the yoga students. It was a huge apartment unit with a large living room but 3 relatively small bedrooms. I told him that all the rooms should have windows and if he can make any of the rooms bigger, it would be better. He would have to paint it a light color and try to have as many windows as possible because the unit felt so dark. I told him to combine two of the small rooms to make it one big room and maybe convert the dinning room to another bedroom. It was also strange to have such a huge apartment with a tiny dark kitchen. He said he’ll see what he can do about the kitchen. I felt like an interior designer as he listened to me intently. He was really happy with my advice. I told he when the unit is finished, I’ll help him find a tenant. OMG…I might be the next Shiva. I’m starting two new career paths…property broker and interior design consultant…ha ha ha.

After 4 days of all out yoga, my body is craving a day off. Tomorrow is lead class and Sharath told me before I entered the practice area to come at 5AM led class…shit, that means I have to be awake by 4AM. I shouldn’t complain though because that means I’m going to be moved to the 5AM slot soon. There is nothing like practicing at the 5AM slot…the energy is so pure and intense at that time.

This morning, I had a glimpse of my future teacher. At around 8AM everyday, Shrada (Sharath’s 3 or 4 year old daughter) walks in the shala floor. Sometimes she just walks around; sometimes she talks to yoga students she knows and sometimes she sings. Today she decided she wanted to assist. As Sharath was putting the mat over Johnny to assist him in pachimottanasa, she hopped on Johnny’s back and pushed down. I was behind Johnny so I couldn’t help but watch…it was quite amusing. Johnny pretended to breath hard while she put all of her weight on him. A few seconds later, Sharath picks her up and gets on top of Johnny. Without hesitation she jumped on top of Sharath…I wish I had a camera at that moment. It was nice to see my future teacher in action.

This afternoon, I finally found the courage to chat with “the one� from New York. I tried to make it as short as possible because I know he is really busy. I have always respected “the one� from a distant. I told him I would like to practice with him but I was worried I would have to start in the evening class before I could practice in the early morning slot. He told me that he no longer has an evening class and that practicing with him is not as difficult as other people make it to be. I asked him if I had to call him up before coming over. He said, “Normally yes, but I’m asking him now so it’s no longer necessary. Just come over.� He addressed a lot of my concerns and said that, “If I can practice in Mysore, New York should not be a problem.� I came out of that conversation convinced that there is no other person outside of Mysore and N&K that I would want to practice with. Somebody I absolutely respect once told me, “There is nobody in America who has spent more one on one time with Guruji and understands the practice the way he does.� I’ve met so many arrogant yoga teachers in my journey; it’s hard to believe that someone of his stature can still be so humble. All day today, I couldn’t stop thinking of how I can practice and work in New York and then spend 3 to 4 months in Mysore. I think I can make it work. I’m in a New York state of mind…

I’ve been debating on whether I should write this entry or not. I seem to be getting into conversations I would rather not be in. I really need to learn how to bite my lip and just shut up. I don’t know if I will do any justice to this entry. It’s a really broad and complicated topic, which I’m not sure I’m qualified to write. Here’s my best shot and I hope it doesn’t rub people the wrong way.

A few days ago, I was hanging out with a few other western yoga students. We were having our afternoon chai when P said; “I got my appointment with the well known Vedic astrologer on Friday morning at 9AM. I going to have to tell Sharath I’m going to miss practice so I can make this appointment.�

My jaw dropped and I couldn’t help but give him my OMG look. I should learn to keep my mouth shut and not saying anything but I ended up saying, “Aren’t you going to even try to practice earlier that way you don’t miss practice or can’t you reschedule the astrologer’s appointment.� I know, I know…I should have kept my mouth shut and let it be. Maybe one day I’ll learn.

P replies, “I leave on Saturday and it’s very difficult to get an appointment from this guy. I’m sure Sharath will understand how important this is. He is my teacher and he is my friend. He will understand.�

I gave him that I don’t think so look, so he continued to say, “Don’t you have teachers who are your friends too.� He’s only been here a month and he talks like Sharath is his best friend.

I said, “No, it’s a student and teacher relationship…it’s not a friendship. I will always keep that separate. If my teacher decides that one day we are best of friends, so be it. It’s not for me to decide if we are friends or not…he is my teacher. I will always maintain that distinction.�

We went back and forth for a while and it was obviously not going anywhere. K intervenes and says, “Enough yoga talk, change the topic.� Good idea…it ended there. A few minutes later, I headed out to do some errands.

Later that evening, I went back to P & K’s house just to hangout again. That’s what we do here a lot. This time it was a much bigger group. I said, “Where’s P?�

Someone said, “His in his room. He was really upset about what happened this afternoon. He went to Sharath to ask him if he could miss practice because he had an appointment.� Sharath simply told him, “No, cancel the appointment.� P walked out upset that Sharath was not being understanding and reasonable. That night the room was filled with, “We pay so much money and we don’t get any adjustments…we deserve this and that…it’s getting into his head…this is my 3rd trip and I asked for authorization and he said no…blah blah blah.� Believe it or not, I actually kept my mouth shut here and listened. I had no intentions of joining or defending my teachers in this discussion.� Finally C turned to me because I was quiet, “So what’s your experience like here.�

I said, “I was here last year for 4 months and I got between 2 to 4 adjustments everyday. In LA during the world tour, in a room of 150 people; when it came to Mari B, Sharath or Sarawasti was behind me to help me bind. I don’t remember a practice wherein I didn’t get an adjustment. If I didn’t get an adjustment, I wouldn’t really worry about it.�

I caught them by surprise. I guess they expected me to complain too. L asks, “What’s your secret?�

I said, “First of all, I have no expectations and second, I’m Asian.�

L replies, “So now this is a racial thing.�

I said, “No, it’s not a racial thing, it’s a cultural thing. I understand the Asian culture and I work around it. You cannot bring your western concepts to an Indian teacher. Treat him the way other Indians would treat him. Most western don’t understand basic Asian concepts or don’t even try to understand them. They judge things based on their western mind. In the west we are told that we are all equal and we should be treated equally and treat others equally. In most Asian cultures, we are taught at a very young age to respect our parents, elders and teachers. In the Philippines we would take the elder’s hand and place it against our forehead or kiss the hand. Our parents, uncles, aunts, teachers and elders are always above us. We are no taught to be equal. This is not necessarily right or wrong…that’s just the way it is. That’s why in many ways, coming to India was very difficult for me. I have disrespected my parents by coming here against their wishes. I used to be a good Asian boy/man whichever way you want to look at it. I understand that there is line in a teacher-student relationship, which I will not cross. Only the teacher can cross that line. P insulted and disrespected Sharath by essentially telling him that he was missing his class because he had better things to do. He didn’t even realized what he did. He was too angry and disappointed that his teacher/friend did not understand his needs. Many westerners come to Mysore, pay the huge shala fees and feel that it’s their right to be here and expect to get whatever they came for. My Asian upbringing has taught me that being in Mysore is a privilege I should not take for grant. With or without adjustments, I’m happy just to be here.�

There was a whole back and forth discussion that continued. At some point K said, “No more yoga talk.� It was getting late so I headed home. It’s times like these when I feel like I should stay home and hibernate. There was a lot that went on that day. I might have deleted or added some things, which I should have said but the general gist of the conversation is there. I’m slowly learning to keep my opinions to myself and bite my lips when I have the urge to say something…it’s all part of the practice. Maybe one day I'll learn...

This morning’s led practice was not so great. I arrived 5 minutes before 5AM. The main room was already packed. I ended up practicing in the waiting room…not a good place to be. I need to make sure I arrive earlier next time.

After practice, Shobha prepared breakfast for me. She does it every Saturday and Sunday…I can’t complain. She then taught me the art to making homemade masala chai from scratch. It starts with a small piece of cinnamon, 3 pieces of cloves and one peeled cardamom. We pounded these ingredients on our hand stone grinder in the kitchen. It felt so primitive pounding with a stone hammer. When it’s all pasty and powdered, we place it in boiling water and added a teaspoon of Taj Mahal tea. We boiled the tea until it got dark black and strained the liquid. We kept the liquid a side and boiled the same amount of milk. Shobha insisted that I use only Nandini brand milk (as a side note, Nandini makes the best Mysore Pak and Du Peda…sugar, milk, ghee and more sugar…a sugarholic’s fantasy). When the milk is all boiled, we mixed the tea to the milk. I was going to use jagari but she insisted that I use only sugar. We prepared three cups and I let M and her friend try it. M said that it was the best chai she ever tasted and I agree. I won’t be heading to Gokul Chats for chai very often anymore.

Hammering the cardaman, cloves and cinamon

Ingredients ready for boiling...yummmm

Best masala chai in Gokulam, twenty ruppees only...wooohooo!!!

In the afternoon, Robin (Shobha’s son) gave me my first motorcycle lesson. He brought me to an open field and explained how it all works. I grew up driving a manual transmission so I understand the whole clutch and shifting of gears concept. I thought I could pick it up pretty quickly…I was wrong. The dynamics is totally different. It took me a while to coordinate the clutch, the brake, the shifting and everything else. Unfortunately for me, it did not come naturally. I did get the motorcycle running but I felt so uneasy…constantly thinking of what I needed to do next. I don’t think I’m going to drive a motorcycle on the streets of Mysore anytime soon…practice, practice, practice…all is coming.