Tartan Yogi

Well, I have signed up for the 6 month teacher training course starting in July, I realised I have been talking about doing it for 2 years and could carry on talking about whether I should do it forever so I am going to just do it and I am very excited. I am doing it mainly to refine my own practice and to have a great experience and to do lots of yoga!

I have been reading some of the views on teacher training on the ezboard and I totally understand why people are suspicious of training courses, but if you have the right attitude and do it for the right reasons then I really don't see a problem. I see it as part of my yoga journey and if I don't teach afterwards it won't really concern me, I am doing it for the experience.

It is also a practical thing too, to be able to do this I have to be able to afford it and carry on working where I am and still see my husband who doesn't do yoga, I am lucky to be able to do that as I know lots of people can't. It also seems like the right time in my own practice. I know I have the dedication to do it, and the enthusiasm, roll on July!

So I am off to Mysore tonight for a class, it should be interesting as I went to the gym yesterday to do some running training for a 5k I am going to do. I wonder how stiff I will be. I had a great practice on Monday so hopefully I will be OK. It is interesting that whenever I do go to the gym I have to go home and do some yoga, I suppose the stretching cancels out all that muscle contraction ;)

Interestingly I was reading in one of my yoga books that you should make yoga part of your life, and I was thinking about all the extra little stretches I do during the day. Like at my desk I stretch my arms and do the eagle pose arms and whenever I go to the loo I do a few backbends and forward bends. I had never really thought about it before. Funny the things you end up doing with this practice, yoga really is everywhere.

Actually, one of the really great things about finally deciding to do this course is that the husband supports me 100% because it doesn't mean me leaving to go to India or him being abandoned. I guess that is why it feels right. He even said he would pay for half of it, what a star. Obviously I am not got going to let him do that, it is the thought that counts. Must make him some dehydrated apples as a thankyou for being fabulous! Nothing says I love you like dehydrated fruit you know...

Thankfully Friday tomorrow, work is just a distraction from yoga this week ;)

[boring posture analysis to follow!] I had a great class last night, really focused. I have decided to carry on adding in uttita hasta padangustasana C in as per David Swenson, I just really like this pose, even though I am a bit stiff on the left side. Kurmasana was really strong yesterday for some reason too, I even got my heels off the floor for a good few breaths and ended up being in the pose for about 15 breaths in all which really helped with supta K. Teacher asked if I had my stomach on the ground and I didn't, and when you are in kurmasana it is really hard to see how far away your stomach is from the floor. I don't think I am that far off it though.

Did some good teacher assisted dropbacks too, I am really starting to get the feeling in the legs when I come up now, much more slowly that before too rather than flinging myself up and running into the nearest plant pot. Hooray for emerging elegance (will probably fall on my head today now that I have said that).

It is a funny thing describing practice, I am sure it is the most tedious thing in the world to read, but it serves as a good reminder to me what I need to work at in the next practice. I guess the blog is just for me though, I don't mind if no one reads it or thinks it is a bunch of tripe, although it is nice to know when people read it and think it is interesting.

Am having a home practice tonight which I am looking forward too. Home practices always seem to be more calm and reflective, probably because you don't have all the energy of other people practicing around you, and also you don't get adjusted. I need to get to more Mysore classes though, my good intentions in January kept getting interrupted so I ended doing more home practices. Next week I am going to aim for three mysore classes and three at home and I will see how I go.

I have also asked the teacher to help with my headstands next time, although I reckon it is just 'the fear', you know when you decide a pose is evil and avoid doing it at all costs and then when you do manage to di it get through it as quickly as possible hoping that no one notices. I might see if I can manage to do them in the toilet cubicle at work to get some practice in. Although it might cause alarm if someone sees feet above the door...

I am being quite smug today (assumes smug face) because I managed to not drink any alcohol for a whole month. Have also managed to cut down on coffee too with the discovery of Bengal tea. Although it will all go to pot on Friday as I am going to a birthday night out. I reckon I could give up alcohol alltogether if it wasn't for gin and tonic you know!

Nick Cave that is, I went to see him on Saturday and it was without a doubt the best gig I have ever been to. As a consequence spent all of yesterday alternating listening to Nick Cave and Johnny Cash and got horribly confused at one point because on one of the Johnny Cash albums he and Nick cave sing together and Cash also covered the Mercy Seat. [Funnily I have just noticed I have never mentioned music here before.]

It was an interesting gig people-wise actually, a good mix of ages and not as many goths as I had expected ;) Apparently I come under the category of 'recovering' goth (thanks to the husband for the description), maybe I am just don't have enough time to put on all that make-up now I am a grown up (kind of) and not a student! I really do love Nick Cave's voice, it is so powerful and deep. It is interesting because after a gig the husband always goes on about how great the bass was and I always notice the vocals much more. I love his song writing too, dark though it is.

Anyway, enough gushing for one day. Am off to mysore tonight and am going to get some help with the headstand. I wonder what full practice will be like after a heavy night on Friday, man I can see why giving up drinking was a good idea. Spent all of Saturday (till the gig) feeling like I had been run over. My semi practice yesterday was a bit feeble too but will try to redeem myself this week.

Funnily enough I was trying out that pose that is like bekasana but you stick one leg out, just for fun. I think the only way I will be able to see what it is like without falling over instantly is by propping the extended leg on the sofa. I might try that tonight if I have any energy after class.

Must also get on with trying to find a good recipe to try out in the dehydrator, dried apples are great, but I want something that tastes bad for me, like fruit fudge or something - if there is such a thing.

Had an interesting mysore practice last night, everything was groovy up until supta kurmasana, so have decided it is the pose of the devil. I'm not sure I will ever be able to do it properly and my legs were being horribly uncooperative. I got adjusted by putting one leg over my head for 5 breaths, which was fine on the left leg but on the left leg was a whole other story. I don't know why either as they were fairly even last mysore. Looking at pictures of the pose it looks like people bend their legs much more than I do so maybe that is it.

Had a nice drop back adjust too, did about 5 or 6 dropbacks and coming up with assistance and then the adjust where the teacher holds your thighs and you come up alone. It is funny but depending on the teacher I do drop backs and coming up to standing totally on my own or am made to do it with the assist. Either way is fine with me, but when it is the assist teacher, which it has been for a while the last 2 weeks, I miss doing them on my own. Mind you I can always do them at home and at least with the assist I can do it really slowly to concentrate on engaging the legs.

Mari D also seems to be getting better, which is good. I think it is because my practice is starting to get more regulated so my lotus is getting a bit looser, yay for me!

In other news, when I had started my practice yesterday there was this girl just watching me for about 10 minutes, most unnerving! Mind you I should remember I used to do that when I first started mysore classes. It is interesting that there really are only a couple of people I recognise at mysore classes at the moment too. I always think people tend to like going to classes when it is warm outside, which is a problem in Edinburgh. I was practicing next to the friendly looking American yesterday. Odd how you can get to know people well even though you never speak to them.

I am off to a led class tonight, the one last week was great so am looking forward to it. In good news, the husband is having a band practice either tomorrow or Thursday so I will be able to make another mysore class without deserting him, hoorah.

I managed to sustain a nail injury yesterday while being adjusted in Mari D, caused by my own nails. I tend to let them get too long and I do like to paint them wild colours for fun (they are dark blue and glittery at the moment) so anyway as I was being adjusted I scraped my arm and have a lovely scratch mark all down the inside of my arm today. Note to self, cut nails...

Reminds me of the Swenson workshop (I am such a yoga celeb name dropper, maybe should start a yoga version of Hello where famous yogis show us round their shalas - mind you I suppose Yoga Journal kind of serves that purpose) where he discussed the best hairstyle for yoga, that being Princess Leia buns. I think if I started wearing such a hairstyle people would chortle at me in the street so will stick to ponytail that gets in the way. I just look really stupid with pigtails too, like some sort of adult-child. Which is a bit wrong really.

On a completely unrelated note, I spent a happy hour or two yesterday looking at David Shrigley's website, he is the most amazing artist from Glasgow, I just love his style: http://www.davidshrigley.com/ The only thing is that if you spend a while looking at his photos, you start looking at the world in a slightly skewed way. Not great if you are prone to this anyway as I am. I wonder if all the yoga makes life much more surreal, possibly because it makes you more sensitive to your surroundings.

Apart from the vanity injury practice last night was OK, my muscles were screaming a bit after mysore on Monday but the only thing that ever help with that in my experience is more yoga. Tonight I am going to have a relaxing home practice with a focus on headstand, I really must stop avoiding the whole pose, but I do so like the dolphin prep pose.

Right, back to work, how dull ;)

Not of drink or drugs, but yoga and Nick Cave. I'm not sure how you equate a man who sings songs about gruesome murders with yoga but such is life - full of inconsistency.

I managed to fall over my ankle on Tuesday night so yesterday I had a gentle home practice. Am back at mysore tonight though, I hope it isn't too bad. What with that and a scratched arm I am a bit of a yoga casualty. It is funny that every time I start to improve my flexibility a bit, my ankle goes. Related to a car accident I think and I just have to learn to live with it.

Am feeling a bit spaced out today, I don't know if it is the cup of coffee I had this morning or the time of year. I think I need an early night after practice tonight, should sort me out. My problem is that I am prone to daydreaming and I have been in that frame of mind all week. The husband is affected too at the moment, I think we are both having the protracted realisation that working full time really isn't any sort of way to live. The problem is deciding on the alternative and actually doing something about it.

It must be some intrinsic part of human nature to want to outdo everyone else, which is why I have noticed in the yoga centre that people sometimes spend more time watching others doing their practice than practicing themselves. Not that I don't ever do it, but I do try not to. Although it could be that I am interpreting it wrong and people who are unfamiliar with the series are just looking for cues about what comes next. When I first started mysore style I did exactly the same. Funny that now the primary series is just ingrained in my brain.

I had a nice practice yesterday, the ankle didn't hurt at all which was good. On a Thursday the mysore people practice alongside beginners so we don't get any adjustment, which is quite nice sometimes. Mari D deserted me though, although weirdly I was better on my usually bad side. Bhujipidasana has also become one of my favorite poses, I love coming back up into titibhasana and jumping back, which is funny as I used to dread that bit of the series.

When I got to supta K I did the pose and then did some leg behind the head prep, which was quite nice actually. I did one leg behind the head at a time to really feel that dynamic of getting the leg over the shoulder so I think I might do that a bit more to work on where I am going wrong in supta K. I also did some drop backs and standing up on my own, which was nice after a week of teacher assisted dropbacks. My feet are still trying to do Charlie Chaplin when I come up though so I need to engage the legs more.

It is funny really that the more you practice, the more you want to practice. This week I have done a strong practice every day, and I am going to the primary talk through tonight. Hopefully I will get some help with my tragic headstand! Although at least I am attempting to practice it in every class now, which for me is a breakthrough. Avoidance is never the way to go!

In other news, I think I will dye my hair black tomorrow. I stopped dying it after university in an attempt to be less goth-like, but I think I am having a renaissance of gothdom, albeit without the black lipstick. It would run ever so in a mysore class ;) I was a rubbish goth anyway as I am too cheerful and like wearing red.

For the past three days have been reenacting scenes from the exorcist. I have never been so sick in my life, so no practice and no much of doing anything except not eating and feeling sorry for myself. Seem to have lost loads of weight so am worried my first practice of the week is going to be really shaky. Although will probably leave it till Friday once I can eat again.

I feel for the poor husband, on Valentine's day I gave him a sample to take to the doctor for me.

Maybe listening to some Nick Cave will help. I thought I would branch out and bought the new Maximo Park CD last week, but after the Cave everything seems so two dimensional. I really must stop going on about him, am worried it is becoming an obsession.

Right, am going to brave having some mint tea I think.

Well the food poisoning has rendered me totally useless this week, am only in at work to check up on my e-mails. Although I had a fruit smoothie at lunchtime and it seems to have given me a sugar rush, which is good as I have some energy!

I have lost about half a stone I reckon, which is quite odd in 5 days, all my clothes are a bit too big. Hopefully I will get my appetite back soon though because at the moment I still don't really want to eat. I tried to do some yoga on Wednesday and I was really shaky so did a gentle hour. I will do a wee bit more tonight and see how I go. When I can eat again I should be better. I might aim to go to the talk through on Sunday which would make 3 practices this week, which isn't too dreadful considering.

One of the worst things about being so sick is that you lose all the fluids in your body and the loss of salt makes all your muscles ache, it is so much worse that my usual ashtanga ache! I almost tried using tiger balm, but the smell of it made me feel a bit sick!

Anyway, gave me time to watch lots of low quality TV (the Tyra Banks Show anyone?) and I also read a bit more of Light on Life, which is great. The thing I like is that you really get a sense of Mr Iyengar's humour in the book along with all the amazing information he has to impart. I like the bit about how he cultivated his stern look and flashing eyebrows for female students who tried to flirt with him!

In other news, amazingly T in the Park festival tickets sold out in under an hour today. I will probably go as my sister bought extra ones, The Who are playing which the husband will like. Sadly Nick Cave isn't but you can't have everything. I saw PJ Harvey at T in the Park a few years ago which was good though. I guess I will see as more of the bands are announced.

The only thing is that every time I go to a festival I decide I am getting to old to be stuck in a field with thousands of drunken teenagers, but still go back for more. Although I would highly reccomend the Wicker Man festival to anyone, each year artists build an enormous wicker man and they light it at midnight on the Saturday, it is quite magical if a bit insane! Any festival that makes you think the Ozrick Tentacles are the best band in the world has to be reckoned with!

Seeing as I had to come home early from a night watching DVDs last night because I felt ill (again), have decided to treat myself with some shopping with my gay best friend and sister today, hopefully that will make me feel better! I know it is shallow and horribly un-yogic, but at least I will be out and about. Actually it will probably be looking at GBF's choice in shirts and telling him I like one better so he buys the other...shopping for men is weird, everything is so grey. I am glad I am a girl!

I went to work yesterday and I think it knackered me out a bit, I had a nice walk at lunchtime though and it was nice to get some fresh air. But I am just not used to feeling so weak, which is what food poisoning does. And my appetite still hasn't come back, all I could face to eat yesterday was some salt and vinegar Kettle chips. Today though I am going to make a green curry with loads of veggies and have that, hopefully it will help. I mean all those spices must be good for you ;)

I am going to wait until I can eat before I practice. It is weird how much my body is missing asana practice. My back is pretty sore so I have been doing the odd stretch and I am going to do some Iyengar style asanas tonight rather than my usual ashtanga practice, which may just kill me!

Actually, maybe I will treat myself to some new yoga trousers, that would definitely make me feel better!

P.S. Tiff, I am going to check out Project Catwalk on your reccomendation! It sounds like quality TV viewing ;)

Well I dyed my hair black, it looks quite nice I think, although I do now look like a sad old goth ;) I will be 29 in March and my gay best friend tells me this is practically 100 in gay years. Oh well, it could be worse, I could be facing 30.

Anyway, I managed to practice last night, although I was pretty shaky. Weirdly though I felt a bit more flexible than usual especially in the lotus postures, go figure. I certainly wouldn't recommend food poisoning as a flexibility aid though. It is probably an ashtanga mirage anyway and at tonight's mysore I will be as still as a board. I only did the 45 minute David Swenson short form yesterday so will see how I go tonight. I doubt I will do a full series, but you never know. I am going to make sure I tell my teacher why I have been away in case he tries to give me any uber adjustments, which I normally relish. I guess I have to be patient with my poor old body, not one of my strong points, but all part of the yoga.

I had a nice afternoon yesterday reading Mr Iyengar's Light on Life, which is dense so is taking a while to read, and looking at a few different yoga styles in a book called the 'Yoga Bible'! I am also going to start to take some notes on yoga philosopy in preparation for my training in July (have decided this is definitely what it is, not a teacher training in the true ashtanga way i.e. practicing with Phattabi Jois and then becoming authorised once you are at a certain level - it will all be part of my journey though until I can get to Mysore!). It is a bit like being back at university looking at the philosophy in more detail, in a way, as I did philosophy at Glasgow Uni. However I only did Western philosophy so it is interesting to see the different focus in yoga and the different goals.

It is interesting that whenever I read descriptions of ashtanga they usually only focus on the fact that it is physically demanding, almost like whoever writes these descriptions thinks it is a silly way to do asana and that this is its only defining feature. And I have heard this from yoga teachers of other styles, which makes me think the teacher needs to work on keeping an open mind. After all, if you write ashtanga off so quickly because it is difficult you are missing so much of its meditative aspects.

I really cannot wait to begin this course the more I think about it, it will be great to discuss these things with people rather than just keeping it in my own head.

I think that the person who makes up the names of nail varnish must have great fun. I am currently wearing 'Galactic', most cosmic indeed!

I made it to the mysore class last night after having an hour discussion with myself about maybe it being a good idea to just go home and do some quality sitting down rather than yoga. But I went, and weirdly it was quite a good class. My Marichi D is coming along, the bind is getting much better - maybe soon I will get the wrist, mind you that could be because my stomach has shrunk over the last week. I am also so almost there with supta K, I can almost feel the gap between my hands (if that makes any sense!), I think I just need to work on getting my shoulders under my legs a bit more. By the time I got to backbends all my strength had gone so I missed out dropbacks as I didn't want to fall on my head. So not a bad effort really.

I am going to go to the gym tonight and then do a bit of yoga at home, I just fancy taking it slowly as I am still a bit shaky from the poisoning. And I have to justify to myself why I have a gym membership when I just go to the yoga centre all the time. They do actually have a yoga class at the gym, but my experience of gym yoga hasn't been too good and I would rather stick with teachers who know my practice. Anyway, if I don't go in the next month or so I will cancel my membership I think.

I was thinking about a comment from Susan about when people start ashtanga and jump straight into a primary series class. At my yoga centre they take the beginners through sun salutation A on their first class and encourage them to practice it at home, they then introduce sun sal B, the next week they do a few of the standing postures. Although I guess this isn't strictly 'traditional' I think it is a good way for yoga centres to introduce the practice without scaring people off. I suppose the difficulty is interesting people enough so they come back, but not killing them with a full series! Also I suppose a lot of people tend to think 'I'm sure I can do a full class as I am quite fit' and don't realise how challenging it can be.

In a description of ashtanga I was reading, they pointed out that ashtanga students can be quite self-sufficient once they learn the progression of poses. I partially disagree with that as I always feel I need a teacher, but I suppose as the nature of mysore practice is self-study at your own pace it is almost right. And with ashtanga you can practice anywhere at any time once you know just sun sal A. I like the story David Swenson tells about when he was first learning in a makeshift yoga centre made out of a tent with carpet on the ground, they didn't use mats then. And when people did some poses they would make dents in the ground under the carpet so for the next batch of people they would have to smooth the holes over. Just goes to show you can practice under loads of different circumstances.

I might try a practice without a mat sometime just to see. I wonder how different doing practice on sand would be! I even see the difference using my cotton mat vs my sticky, I prefer the cotton actually, and it is a fabulous red colour! Maybe I am really quite shallow at heart...

Apparently I am Vata, which is interesting. To me anyway. Apparently this means I have a dodgy stomach (check) and get cold a lot (check). It is the first time I have ever really done any research into it though so I might be totally wrong about it, but it does seem to fit. I must do some more research on this as it is interesting especially in relation to diet.

I went to the gym last night and did lots of cardio, which made me horribly light-headed, must be becuse of not being back to eating properly quite yet. I quite enjoyed it apart from that, it is odd to get the body moving when it isn't yoga though. I think of it as a sort of physical TV watching thing because when you are doing cardio your mind wanders and you don't really think about what you are doing. Well I do that anyway. Rather horribly though there was a severely anorexic looking girl in there on the treadmill for a really long time, I was worried her bones were going to snap. Poor girl, makes me come over all maternal (even though I am usually anything but). It reminded me of a girl who used to come to yoga, I always wondered how she managed to do a full primary series without any energy. One day she just stopped coming so I hope she managed to get some help.

Anyway am off to mysore tonight, am feeling pretty run down though so I will see how I go. According to the internet us Vata types need to eat warming things so maybe that will help with the tiredness after the food poisoning incident. Ooodles of veggie soup I think! I also tried to make some ice cream out of a fig smoothie, so I will see how that goes. Not very warming, but I bet it is quite tasty with some dehydrated apples on top.

No practice last night as ladies holiday, probably just as well really as was sooo tired yesterday. And today is a massage day so I will have to wait until tomorrow's led primary. Hopefully I will have some energy by then. I am going to a class by a certified teacher on Saturday too which is exciting. I have been to her classes before, but she has recently become certified so am really pleased for her. Maybe she can help me with my woeful supta K, well woeful in the fact that it just doesn't seem to be getting anywhere at the moment. Oh well, I must be having a sorry for myself day, most unnatractive. Maybe I will never be able to do it and will have to do primary for the whole of my life. I have given up on ever getting second anyway *sob*.

On the up side, I finished Light on Life yesterday as I had a bit of time without practice happening. I think I need to read it again though to get some of the information. I do like the bit about the four stages of life though in relation to practice. And the idea that you can practice yoga in all sorts of ways, not just limiting 'practice' to asana. Food for thought on the days when I don't practice and feel a bit grumpy I think.