Woke up this Morning: January 2006 Archives

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January 31, 2006

Nowt going on

Well other than the fact that it's freezing here just now there's not much happening. I'm all for hibernation. Whoever it was that decided that us humans aren't going to hibernate I'd like to meet them and give them a good old punch on the chin! 4 months of sleeping wrapped up in a nice warm cave? Man, give me that anytime over the daily defrost, commute to the J.O.B., sit in a freezing office then the slow commute home to arrive back to a cold flat. BBbrrrrrr!!!!.

I wish I was a bear.

Atleast it's getting lighter in the mornings, well, if you can see the sun through the freezing frost at the moment, it would be much lighter. Still, signs of the daffodils coming out soon. And the joys of valentines day is just round the corner. I think I'll need to clear the fire place so I'm ready for the cards I'm not going to receive. Hahahah. Will just have to see who's getting sent the flowers this year.... ha!

Adios!

oh almost forgot. Got my head to my ankles in badha konasana today! Sweet pain cometh.......

Posted by graeme at 6:40 PM | Comments (1)

January 30, 2006

Use a bed as a prop??

I'm beginning to really like weekend practices. Long slow drawn out affairs where it's possible to try different things that you dont have time for mid week. Sunday I discovered that doing back bends using the bed as support for my arms gives me the same lift as using someone else's ankles, or a couple of blocks for support. I never really liked doing back bends at home as I was either never warm enough, too tired, or just couldn't get enough lift. The bed changed everything. It's like - "Hello, mamma!". Had such a nice stretch out of it :>

Busy day at the office. The J.O.Bs keeping me busy as I've a visitor in from London to learn some stuff. Still time to write a (shortish) blog entry. Am bad !!

Posted by graeme at 3:00 PM | Comments (0)

January 27, 2006

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Best explain. It's Her birthday today and I've got a major dose of the blues. She's been very distant, which I guess isn't at all surprising considering. It's not like it isn't any different than last year when I tried all day to get in touch with her and couldn't get through. I miss Her like crazy. I'm not proud of that fact and I wish it was some other way but it isn't. The universe is trying its hardest to help me out putting me in situations where it would be possible for me to move on, but y'know my heart's just not in it. It's somewhere else, wherever She is.

Thank god for Yoga. I'd be up the wall by now otherwise.

The best present I could possibly give Her would be to give up. It's excruciatingly impossible for me to do.

What have I go to do......

Posted by graeme at 9:00 AM | Comments (1)

January 25, 2006

Sit on me!

I remember reading Joey's blog about different kinds of massage and massage therapists. Joey does a fair bit of the hands on stuff himself so he was talking about the masseuse he had an appointment with and whether her technique was up to scratch or not by his own standards. At the time I thought that very judgemental of him, that he should just enjoy the massage for what it was, no more, no less, and try and keep his mind away from trying to categorise it and put it in a box.

Funny how things can turn full circle.

Practice of late has been very slow and cold. This morning I think my body (and a dare say my mind) was just crying out to be squished. Literally. If the teacher had come and sat on me for 10 minutes I would've been happy as Larry. I know from a personal perspective that the adjustments that I've been doing in class recently are getting much stronger, so when someone adjusts me and it's all a bit namby-pamby my ego's like "What the heck is that". What a terrible thing to say, cos I know I'd hate to think someone was thinking that (I'm sure they have) about some of the adjustments I've given out. EEEeekkk! Bad ego. Bad me.

So it sounds like the morning mysore is moving into the squash courts of all places. Yuck! So I've decided if that's the case then I'm practicing at home. Call me a yoga-snob but I do like practicing in a nice environment. Black splotted walls with no natural light? Er, no thanks. Anyways, it would only be temporary. Teacher's talking to the Iyengar guy to see if she can get us in there. Kinda funny really as I used to stay round the corner from his studio and now it would be like a 10 minute drive. Oh well. Jeez, there's just no pleasing me today, huh?

Posted by graeme at 10:47 AM | Comments (0)

January 24, 2006

Dilema

So it seems my first teacher Simone was more impressed in the class on Sunday than I thought. I received an email from her saying that if I wanted to she was more than happy for me to come down to her class on a Monday night and help with adjusting her students with her.

EEEeeeeekk!

That's not a problem in itself as I know we get on really well, but it's getting to the stage now where my adjusting is taking over from my practice. And, if I went down this path then I'd have to give up on the Iyengar class again. Thing is, it would be really good experience for me, and Simone's offered to show me stuff to help with back bends, so that would certainly be useful. She's only teaching up until the end of May this year before she heads back to Croatia where she runs her summer retreats. Maybe I'll go with her -- bad ego!!

Gonna have to mull this over some more. Universe is certainly providing some terribly interesting options for me just now.

http://www.thecosmicpath.com/

"You’re aware that you’ll soon recover your mobility, which has been compromised for so long by Mars’ retrograde cycle, but before you fly off, notice that your mind has entered powerful new, outside the box, never before charted territory. This has been going on for a while, but it’s only just becoming clear to you. For now, the clarity may only last a moment, but it should be enough to move you solidly into a new course of study or a new line of thought. As you begin to express this newer consciousness, you’ll encounter resistance and a good deal of opposition or you may decide to take on the established mode of thinking and systematically begin to tear it down. Bringing the message is why you’re here. Changing the message is a new role for you, but you’re definitely up to the task."

Oh well then....

Posted by graeme at 3:02 PM | Comments (0)

January 23, 2006

How luck we are...

Here's a journal entry of a mate who's helping out following the earthquake in Pakistan

Pakistan earthquake mission

Tremors occur frequently throughout Pakistan. Since the October earthquake there have been tremors every few days in the North West Frontier Province. The most recent was a brief shudder last night, our first night in the village of Sacha.

The boys of the group have moved from our base camp in Batrasi to spend three days in Sacha, while we construct a demonstration house. The hospitality of our hosts has more than made up for the basic tented accommodation and we are quietly delighted that we won't be seeing the inside of another Suzuki minibus for a few days. We want to finish the demo-house before we return to Glasgow and are praying that the good weather we've enjoyed so far continues. With the help of some of the villagers and more than a little swearing, we've completed the foundation trenches and laid the first course of stones.

This evening we were treated to a barbeque dinner of beef, from a cow that had been sacrificed earlier in the day as part of the Eid celebrations. While we are here we're staying with Faisal Khan. Heavily involved with the work of KAPIT, Faisal is an important figure within the village, whose beautiful home was destroyed during the earthquake. He jokes with us that he used to have to cut trees from the hillside for firewood but now he just has to burn what remains of his house.

Later on in the evening we were joined by Faisal's uncle who was staying in Sacha when the earthquake struck. His account of the event was harrowing and it was the first time we had heard anybody speak with emotion about the disaster. He became visibly upset when speaking, explaining that Faisal's grandfather used to entertain people in what was a beautiful house, but now they are entertaining guests under the shelter of a tree.

Sixteen people were killed in Sacha and it was six days before the army realized the Siran valley had been affected. Before leaving, Faisal's uncle pleaded with us to do whatever we could in our rebuilding efforts to prevent such a tragedy from recurring.

Makes you think how lucky we are........

Posted by graeme at 10:17 AM | Comments (0)

Blast from the past

The other day I was just recounting how many yoga teachers I have known in the 2 1/2 years since I started down this path.... some 10 or so teachers now. So on Sunday it was a bit of a surprise when my very first teacher Simone turned up in my very first Mysore Group Practice that I was taking (there was an abortive attempt to start last weekend but the room got double booked). It was really nice to see her again after almost 8 months. She said she was there to do her practice, she was glad to see me, was very proud of me and her other students who had followed her into teaching then recounted how she remembered how inflexible my ankles had been when I'd first attended her class. I'd forgotten that I'd badly injured my left ankle whilst out running in Manly Beach in Sydney 6 months before I started yoga and my foot was still very stiff.

Needless to say her practice was near on perfect, so much so that it was Janu C before I helped her and then only to show her how close her knee was to touching the group. Next time I went across was in backbends where for some reason her feet weren't level (one was nearer the bottom of the mat than the other). Turns out she's got a wee twist in her pelvis that she knew about. She corrects it at home by doing back bends with her toes against the wall. She was soooo happy to have someone look at her practice, and glad I'd picked up on this problem too. She's such a wonderful practice it was nice to just be able to watch her flow through her practice.

After class we stayed for a hot chocolate.. She said she was coming back next week, and bringing her apprentice and some of her students with her so it looks like things are going to be busy!!! She told me when she first started yoga in glasgow 8 years ago there was nothing. A group was practicing down in what was essentially a cellar where there was no natural light (funnily enough with the Iyengar teacher I am now with), and it was very hard to find classes. Now we have a fantastic, bright, energetic studio and classes and workshops all over the place. Her enthusiasm for it all just beemed from her face.

Posted by graeme at 9:55 AM | Comments (0)

We're not doing so bad.....

Here's a journal entry of a mate who's helping out following the earthquake in Pakistan

Pakistan earthquake mission

Makes you think how lucky we are........

Posted by graeme at 9:54 AM | Comments (0)

January 20, 2006

Oh, and another thing....

Couple of funnies from adjusting in class last night.

Was helping the Tax Agent out in downward dog and as I bent over to point out her hands were cupped and not flat on the mat she lifted her head up and nearly head butted me with the back of her head. I wish I'd taken that extra option on the personal injury insurance!! If I'd been any further down I could've come a real cropper!!

I've also really got to remember how close people practice next to each other. I was adjusting a student in Janu A, and was standing off the back of her mat waiting for her to change to the other side when I felt something close behind me. Realised a bit too late that the Super Bendy Swede was doing her Upward Dog with her face kinda close to my backside. Ooops.

Teacher has been really supportive this week. I sent her a copy of my notes from John Scott's workshop and kinda vented a couple of things that had been boiling up. Got the biggest smile and warmest cuddle when she came in. It's amazing the capacity for some people to share their love. I'm really kinda lucky to know the people I do.

Practice and class was really good last night. I really enjoy the adjusting side of things and I'm beginning to see the real advantage of having a good solid practice of my own (I don't yet but it's coming) to really understand how to approach someone else's practice. Started drop backs last night with one of the students. She can already do them pretty well but she's happy to let me get used to having a bit of faith and trust in my own abilities to help her out. I booked in to Brian Cooper's Art of Adjusting workshop yesterday so the correct sequence in backbending is one of the things I'll be looking to work out. Going to approach the Iyengar teacher do see if I can do a 1-2-1 with him on this too, get his experience from his Ashtanga years - this idea woke me up at 3.30am this morning then kept me awake until the alarm rang.

On a brighter note to end the week, I think the OA was flirting with me........ She's really kinda nice.

Posted by graeme at 8:47 AM | Comments (0)

January 19, 2006

Right of passage

So today is my 100th entry into my web-blog. I'm not sure how I feel about that... time seems to have gone by so quickly and there's an awful lot of water under the bridge since I started. There's a few blogs I've come across that started about the same time as I did last august and it's been interesting for me to see the sort of stuff I've been putting out here, and the stuff other people write about too.

To be honest alot of the stuff has just been me venting my feelings... I know Ashtanga's helped me a lot with that, showing me things about the way I think and giving me time to mull things over that I never gave myself in the past. I'm learning the hard lessons of impermeance and of letting things go, albeit that I'm putting it into practice slowly.

Yoga's coming along. Bhujapidasana is doing nicely; I can get my head to the mat now in Kurmasana; and jump backs are getting more floaty. I can also get my head off the floor in Sirsasana too, which I think is Pincha Mayurasana, though my hands are in the wrong place. Ujjayi breathing is coming along fine too, so all in all I'm very happy.

I've seen the death of a close friend, my friend's wife had a miscarriage, and my best friend's life change in front of my eyes all in the space of the time this blogs been in existence. My teacher's asked me to start a class in the local shala (which I turned down), and I started assisting both in class and on my own. I spent some good quality time with John Scott and his lovely family and I've moved flat (twice). I've gotten to know a few people on this web-blogging thing, something I find funny as I consider these people to be friends tho I've never clapped eyes on them or heard the sound of their voice. I've seen my yoga teacher cry, and made my mum laugh (turned up unexpected for Xmas lunch) and I also got kicked in the face in class (own fault). It's been a busy wee while.

Oh yeah, and I broke my heart.

Posted by graeme at 11:37 AM | Comments (2)

January 18, 2006

Some of this should be on a cushion somewhere

Notes to thy self when adjusting in the teachers class

- beware thee the opening mantra for it holdeth the key to many a practice

- beware thee the end of the mat, it's a lot longer than thee thinketh...once thee've finished adjusting step off the mat
- beware thee the unexpected hairy armpits of Trikonasana
- beware thee the wobbly student...let go slowly, lest thee student loses balance and dropeth on their soft head
- beware thee thy positioning for male adjustment in utkutasana lest thee students think thee plays for the other side
- beware thee the count, for it sometimes disappears and will bite thee when thee least expecteth it
- beware thee thy ego. Do not adjust where others fear to go
- beware thee the swetty backs of Paschimottanasana
- beware thee that thy students stink may be nicer than thy own
- beware thee the yelps of excitement from thy students lest thee confuseth them with yelps of help (errr?)
- maintain thee thy reverence to thy teacher. If She buildeth it, they will come. If thee buildeth it, it will fall over
- know the things that thee knoweth
- do not pretend to knoweth the things that thee doesn't
- beware thee thy driste in purvottanasana
- beware thee thy students head in bhujapidasana, and placement of thee hands in titthibhasana
- beware thee from seeking revenge in kurmasana for the pain it causes thee in thy own practice
- beware thee thy student whose breath disappeareth mid posture
- beware thee thy aim of water skoosher in Garbha Pindasana
- beware thee the flying roll through Chakrasana
- beware thee the winds of Supta Konasana
- beware thee setu bandhasana for it be an evil posture
- beware thee the super bendy backs of Urdhva Dhanurasana
- beware thee thy student heareth yee not in Pindasana
- beware thee the flying feet of Sirsasana
- beware thee the snores of Savasana

- beware thee the closing mantra for in thee words hideth some deviousness in pronounciation

- beware thee the end of practice when thee discovers that thee forgoteth to pack some underpants as thee came to practice with thee yoga gear in place

Posted by graeme at 10:11 AM | Comments (1)

January 17, 2006

Zees is more difficult that zeet looks

Finally managed to get myself some yoga done. I practically sprinted in to the Iyengar class last night and it was a good thing as it was pretty damned packed in there. All these new faces with their new years resolutions in toe. Back in my gym monkey days, I would play a game where I'd see how long it would take before people would start to drop out. Back then it would be more noticeable that a guy had been dragged along to an aerobic or step class by his better half. Then after a couple of weeks, when the girl was like really getting in to it, the guy would disappear of the face of the planet. Maybe it was something to do with the instructor being having so much presence, and the guys felt a bit threatened by it all. It's kinda hard not to make a fool of yourself in a dance type class when you haven't got a scooby what you're doing. It takes a bit of nerve for guys to get into these sorts of classes and I know some of my friends still think yoga's about sitting around going om!!

Class was back to it's excellent standards. Core strength this week. I've been coming long enough to know the structure for these classes now so it helps being able to pace things a bit, though the class is a lot slower than an Ashtanga class. Still, teacher did introduce us to Vasisthasana, which I thought sounded German to me. Class had a real struggle with this, and I have to admit it put an awful pressure on my wrists (which were sore anyway), but afterwards they felt really refreshed. I certain works the core out trying to keep everything in alignment. As for the shaking arms.... well, that's another matter.

Alarm went off early this morning. Tuesday's normally my day off, but I wanted to practice as I'd missed stuff over the weekend. Didn't move for another hour. Eeek. Oh well, always tomorrow. Will just have to throw something together tonight instead.

Posted by graeme at 12:32 PM | Comments (0)

January 16, 2006

Hangin around

Well the weekend turned in to a bit of a non-event. Other than the somewhat unusual amounts of alcohol I consumed. I'd like to blame the New Flatmate as she was trying to get herself drunk enough to finally take the plunge to sleep with her 'cuddle buddy', but I know my mind keeps wandering to other things and other people just now that probably didn't help much. Oh well, 3/4 of a bottle of bubbly later I found myself in the local pick up joint with the Ceileidh Dancer talking to some lovely, but unavailable girls, as is always the case. 3 bottles later and I was talking absolute nonsense. I ran into a girl I met about 6 months a go, a real stunner and I remembered the Ceileidh dancer had told me that she played away from home. Then she intoduced me to her partner and I'm like "You're joking!" Oops. Poor guy had been dipped in the shallow end of the gene pool. I just couldn't believe she was with him and the Ceileidh Dancer couldn't believe I'd been so insensitive. Hey, I was just been truthful. Anyway, it gave us a laugh on the stagger up the road. Just can't handle the alcohol anymore.. That's the thing about yoga, turns you into a real cheap date.....

Sunday was a blow out. Universe decided not to tell me that the Gymnast from teacher training had booked the studio for an Angel Therapy workshop so when I turned up to practice I had to scurry around telling people that the mysore group practice had been cancelled. The Gymnast looked fantastic. She was doing inversions only a week before delivering her third child into the world. She's quite amazing. Anyways, she's been helping me over the last year with what I call Angel Implants and she was kind enough to give me a quick session under her hands before I had to leave her to her workshop. So the upshot of all of this is that I did no yoga whatsoever this weekend but y'know it kinda felt like that was how it was destined to be anyway.

Posted by graeme at 2:28 PM | Comments (0)

January 13, 2006

Mutterings from the back of the class...

Back to assisting in led primary last night, which started kinda strange when She showed up, changed the towels in the toilets then left without saying diddly-squat. Huh, well I guess class was about to start. She was nice enough to stick Her head back inside the door and wave a 'hiya' at me.

Class was just fantastic, a real godsend after the recent news on the other teacher. I must explain that there's two teachers here who run the yoga school. One teaches a shiva reah styled vinyasa flow on a wednesday, the other an ashtanga class on a thursday. She teaches on a Monday and I cover the Mysore group on a Friday and Sunday. Tuesday we all go down the pub. Actually, that's when the Pilates teacher is in. And between them (Wed/Thu) they run the yoga school from which I graduated (which sounds really pompous). Anyways, half way through class last night and the teacher walks over to me and I thought she was going to ask some technical question about a posture or something... "Was that 2 Bs?" First class back and she'd already lost the count!!! Later on she comes over and whispers "Happy New Year, by the way". You gotta love her!

Teacher likes to play music during the led class, something I'm not averse too, I really dont notice it anymore, mostly because its in sanskrit, chanting, or some Deva Premal stuff. Last night there seemed to be an awful lot of talking on the tracks... So, up she pops with, "Gawd this sounds rather dull" to which a voice at the back replies "Yeah it sounds like some bad porn track". Instant fits of laughter, which didn't help seeing as how we we're both lying over people in Paschimottanasana at the time. I was on the Ceilidh Dancer at the time and he's like "Hey! I'm still here".

With Teacher heading off down under to go see her dad I'm in to help out with the teacher training tonight which is great fun as I get to try all the things out I wouldn't normally do in the open classes. Might see if I can start the Oz Accountant on drop backs. There's a nice thing. Been working with her on Mari D for the last 2 months and shoot me if she didn't just pop right into it last night straight off the bat. Ah. My work is done.

Posted by graeme at 8:50 AM | Comments (0)

January 12, 2006

It never rains but it pours

Jeez, can things get any worse around here? Last night the yoga teacher who's class I assist in turned up real late, though I knew she was coming as she always phones when she's held up in traffic.... After the new year kisses and cuddles I noticed she's like all flustered and stuff.. Seems her dad is way, way sick. Her sister had phoned from the other side of the world and it looks like he might not have long to live. Bad enough as this news is, Teacher's like a million miles away from home. She looked devastated. But here's a lesson in courage. She got on with the class, she knew there'd be 20 new shiny faces looking to kick start their yoga in 2006, and she delivered what I can say was one truly amazingly gutsy class. She's always been a pretty honest sort so at the end of the class she explained what was going on and that the sub-teacher would most likely be covering for the next couple of weeks. She asked folks not to wish her well as it would probably really effect her, then she ended the class with a long meditation. It was very moving.

I'm lucky my parents are still both alive. My dad's a spritely 74 years young and my mum some 10 years younger (dad was a cradle snatcher). Their golden wedding anniversary's coming up in 3 years. There's devotion for you. That's like 50 years they've been living together. I envy that. I know lots of people who's marriages didn't last 5 years let alone 50. I guess they just don't make them like that anymore... I imagine a lot of vows get changed to not include the "for worse" part anymore.

Whatever happend to the years? I always imagined I'd be married by the time I was 18, kicking ball around with the kids and all.

Universe must have something else in store for me.

Posted by graeme at 10:23 AM | Comments (0)

January 11, 2006

Another day, another new teacher

Back to morning mysore this morning. There's only 1 class a week which a city the size of Glasgow it's a real shame, there again, the positive spin on this that I put is that it means there's loads of us all doing self practice of a a morning! Yeah, right!

So, this is the 2nd venue, and the 2nd teacher for this class. I've got a spreadsheet that I keep track of all the practices I've done over the last 18 months. On it I've a tab that I keep all the workshops and teachers that I've been with. For the teachers there's an amazing 10 names on there. Gads, that's a lot. I've been kinda lucky working with them all the same though, each one having brought something new to the mix that my practice is now becoming. It's a bit annoying that each one's pretty much had different views on certain aspects of the asana but it's been good in the sense that it's made me more aware of my own views on things and to realise that in many cases there's no 'right' answer, there's no one solution that covers everybody. It gets a bit much though when you've been to a couple of what I'd call senior teachers who give you instruction to do something one way then when you get back to the real world your day-to-day teacher does it another way. I'm still adjusting to this, and have been for almost a year now, but I'm getting there. So this morning when the new teacher suggested something, instead of resisting as I normally would, it's like ok, let's just let this slide and see where it goes.

The New Flatmate came back from her trip to Bermuda last night and as I'd left the key in the lock I had to get up to let her in. I wanted so bad to go back to bed as I had to be up at 6 this morning but as I wanted to make an effort to get to know her better (she has invited me into her home after all) I spend about an hour talking to her about her trip. I think we're going to get along famously. It's nice to have some new and interesting to talk to. It's going to be fun.

Back to assisting in class tonight with the regular teacher. I've really missed her over the festive break so I'm looking forward to seeing her again. It's going to be fun to see how much I remember from last year. It's like a practice for my mind, working out what I should be doing and where I can be most effective. Practice, all is coming, someone once said. Best get on with it then.....

Posted by graeme at 10:41 AM | Comments (0)

January 10, 2006

Miffed and confused

Went to the Iyengar style class last night and was like sooooo looking forward to it as the teacher's been doing some fantastic stuff in class recently. He mentioned at the start of the class we'd be concentrating on forward bends but he'd be taking it easy with us.... then, he proceeds to run through a cut down ashtanga sequence, with the forward bends, but he didn't introduce anything new at all. Ok, so I was happy to be doing ashtanga but I could've done that at home for free. Yeah, yeah it's the tight fisted Scot in me coming out, I know. It surprised me that I was looking forward to the Iyengar stuff so much that when it didn't materialise I got miffed at it. Funny thing was I met up with a girl in the class afterwards. She used to go to the ashtanga class but stopped because she found it too hard. Now here she was to do some Iyengar and was effectively faced with an Ashtanga class.

Oh well, I'm sure next week's class will be different.

Away from this all my new thing for 2006 is learning to play the piano! I can play a bit on the guitar and after John Scott's retreat before Xmas where I took a quick lesson on the piano there from one of the girls, it really set me in the mood for expanding my horizons a bit. I've bought this book which is probably a bit too advanced for me but anyways I've been learning about 1st and 2nd inversions of root chords !! Hahaha this stuff's kinda interesting, like learning some foreign language. After all the years of computer programming (I know about 12 different types of computer langauge - any one for Lisp, Prolog, ML, and my fav - Occam?), it's just another way of formulating constructs. Any piano players out there know what D/b represents? Is that a D chord with and added b note, or a D chord with b as the lowest note (an inversion I think? but b isn't in the D chord, is it?)

Now I'm confused.....

Posted by graeme at 10:07 AM | Comments (0)

January 9, 2006

Heaven can wait

The weekend's been a bit of a blur. Parents were over on Sunday afternoon to look over the new place, give their seal of approval, make sure I was still living and generally make sure I get atleast one square meal inside of me in 2006. As it turns out it wasnt all that bad though I did spend a lot of the time wondering if I'd still make the afternoon practice down at the center.

Thankfully I did, though I ended up practicing on my own which as it happens isn't the problem that it used to be. I like the quieteness of the place, and I just unroll the mat, say the opening prayer and get on with it. No fuss, no commotion.

Practices recently have had much more flow about them. Recent upsetting news I feel has made me realise how futile some things can be, that dreams can be shattered in an instant, and that really all we can do sometimes is rely on breathing in and breathing out to get us through the day. And even that sometimes isn't enough. I was asked recently how I felt and now I've had a chance to put some meditative practice time over that question my feelings are this. Heaven can wait, I'd rather be here with You. So there you have it. There it goes.. another thought off out into the Universe.

On the postive side I've managed to get my head on the floor in Kurmasana now the last 3 practices. Bind in Mari-C is coming back, albeit slowly, and the squeeze in tittibhasana's feeling nice and secure.

Nice to see a change in the guard at Mysore. With RTM leaving it's good to see his good friend Russell back there so I'll be reading his blog now he's back writing again.

Posted by graeme at 9:33 AM | Comments (0)

January 6, 2006

Almighty crunch

4 turned up for practice last night. The Ceileidh Dancer, the StrongMan, the Accountant and moi. She'd suggested the get together then failed to show Herself. Oh well. Still, it played heavily on me during practice worrying whether She was alright or not. It's funny how sometimes you get to practice and there's nothing much going on mind-wise then all of a sudden, boom, there's this thought that trundles around your head and you like spend most of the practice either mulling it over or trying to get the thing out of your system. When thoughts of Her come to me now, I don't fight them any more. I know one day they won't come so for now I welcome them in with open arms, see what they bring, what message they have for me today then try and bit them adieu. Recently thoughts have been like the proverbial London buses. Nothing for a long time then 3 at once. Sometime I'd get mad at myself for thinking these things... Now... well, they're as much a part of me as my left arm, I guess, so I'm just gonna let them come when then come and be thankfull I have a mind to think them with. As the Rock says, atleast I'm recognising that I'm having these thoughts and that's the first step to being more mindful.

So half way through practice I threw in Astavakrasana from Intermediate A (which I know I shouldn't do). It had been broken down by the Iyengar teacher in the workshop I attended before Xmas and I find it a lot of fun, it's helping with all sorts of things, and it's actually a lot simpler to do than it looks. Anyways, while trying to lift my leg and knee further back around my shoulder in prep for this my left knee gave this almighty pop. I thought I'd dislocated it. For a split second I thought "On no!" but thankfully everything was ok (touch wood). I had a vision of me carrying my left leg home in a plastic bag on the underground..... Instant karma for doing something I shouldn't.... well, it generates a lot of heat for me before my feeble attempts at kurmasana.

Half expected the Ashtanga police to burst in through the shala doors......

Posted by graeme at 8:53 AM | Comments (0)

January 5, 2006

No frills

Practice last night went by in a flash. I took out all the little 'extras' from my practice, all the little things I put in to make life a little easier on the mat, and just did a bog standard practice. Well, bog standard in the sense of what I can make of it (which sometimes isn't pretty). Yesterday's practice wasn't sooo pretty in fact. I've lost a lot of room in twists so Mari C/D were a bit hopeless to say the least. I deliberatley stayed clear of any form of lotus until my knees get used to all the movement following the long lay off, though I did a somewhat fantastic version of Kurmasana (for me) and even managed to pick up into titthibhasana too. The extra knowledge I picked up from the Iyengar workshop from Xmas is really helping. I can actually feel the pressure my legs are putting on the tops of my arms now as I squeeze in the position... and y'know, it feels kinda nice. :>

I bailed on the Thai massage last night, thought it might just be a bit too much for the body to take, and settled down to watch "What women want", the Mel Gibson yarn about the guy who gets electrocuted and manages to 'hear' women's thoughts... Funny that he never gained the power to hear men's thoughts too (do we actually have any to hear ????). I guess it would be kinda fantastic for a while, to know what you guys are actually thinking about, there again, I think the not knowing helps keep things fresh. I wonder what She's thinking, but heh, I always did. Anyways. Group practice with any luck tonight, so that's gonna be nice, once I get done with the j.o.b. for the day.

Got a pretty harrowing email from my friend yesterday. His wife had a mis-carriage at week 8, she's under threat of losing her job, and their cat never survived following minor surgery. I can't imagine how awful their christmas has been and it really puts my life into perspective here... it really isn't all that bad.

Frills are nice, but they aren't life...

Posted by graeme at 8:56 AM | Comments (1)

January 4, 2006

Finally over the cold....

Well, I think I've finally gotten over this wrotten cold that's been with me for the last 5 odd days. It's so nice to be able to breath freely again. I only managed to get out at New Year for about 2 hours.. overdosed on Lemsip Max Strength and cheap champagne..... not a nice site.

So needless to say my yoga practice has taken a bit of a battering lately. Only managed 1 practice in the 2 weeks of the christmas vacation. Ah well, will be able to get back to it tonight with any luck. Good excuse to take things a bit easier. Classes dont start back properly at the studio until next Monday so that gives me a couple of days to get things together again.

Posted by graeme at 2:51 PM | Comments (0)

January 1, 2006

Wish you were here....

You asked me how i felt and I just sat there without a single thought in my head. Of course I felt something, my heart breaking, ripping from the inside out, and that only my breathing was keeping some semblance of togetherness to blurt even the shortest of sentences out. You're my friend, and I'm so glad you found the strength to trust your instincts to phone me. I understand your angst in all of this, your fears for the coming year, how things are going to change, and now you've felt my pain too and it kills me that I make you feel this way. It's a selfish thing and it's not fair of me and its not right. I am truly happy for you, regardless of the tears that this thought makes flow.

There's nothing you can say as there's nothing you should say. It's not about me, it's about you, and there should only be tears of happiness for this, for you. Your true colours, the more vibrant shades of you are going to shine, for it's the light in you, your energy, your love for the world and all things in it that will help you.

I can't tell you how much I'm missing you, words just don't do it justice.

Posted by graeme at 4:21 PM | Comments (0)