« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »
September 30, 2007
Garden
I've just spent an incredible 3 hours being at one with the garden, digging it over, weeding, getting it all ship shape. It was great to get something physical done. After friday evening's stint as a desk jockey way to late into the evening it was great to get moving and work up a sweat in the afternoon sun. For sure I'm going to pay for it a little tomorrow at practice but hey, those aches and pains will only remind me of the fun I've had today. Still, I'm off to go soak in the tub for half an hour before walking over to the shops to pick up some lunch for tomorrow. I might even suggest to the flat mate and her man we go down the high street for something to eat tonight rather than cook over a hot stove.
Ah, a nice hot bath awaits.....
Posted by graeme at 1:12 PM | Comments (0)
September 28, 2007
Done in
I've just got in from work, it's like 00:40am and I've done 15 hours straight at my desk working on problem for the latest release of software. A problem, I hasten to add, would only come up in the severest of circumstances, and at most perhaps twice a year. And the customer won't accept the software without it. At 1045pm I discovered it couldn't be fixed (potentials bug in 3rd party API), so it wont be going in.
I think I've come to my wits end with this company. What happened today was quite incredible, so bad I can't talk about it here. Suffice to say these are the things that I don't want my working life to revolve around.
Posted by graeme at 11:41 PM | Comments (0)
September 27, 2007
Heir apparent
I see Sharath's had a baby boy! Wow, great news. It'll be interesting to see the little fellow grow up amongst all things Ashtanga.
Posted by graeme at 7:08 PM | Comments (1)
September 26, 2007
Devil in the detail
For the past few days works been emulating the mat world by being all in the finer detail of things. Today I spent the majority of my time trying to fix 'smudging' on what to mean looks like a perfectly good picture. Except of course it's not my 20/20 eyes that count but those of the consultant who has 35 years of appreciative experience behind her to know what constitutes smudgy bitmaps. Heck, she's probably forgotten more stuff about I.T. than I may ever learn but sometimes I just think,
"y'know this is pretty darn good enough, another 4 hours on this isn't going to make much of a difference".
Then mat world kicks back in and I think, hmnnn, if I'd thought that about padmasana I would've given up on yoga about 3.5 years ago. Ha. So today I mostly sat quietly and got on with changing the odd pixel here from one shade of white to another to see if it made any difference.
Tomorrow I'll get another 5 minute slot at re-arranging the pixels of my body to see if I can get my legs further from the floor in bhujapidasana!
Posted by graeme at 6:55 PM | Comments (0)
September 25, 2007
Lift off, just
In the 3-4 weeks I've been working at bhujapidasana its only been the last couple of days where I've finally managed to work out how to get my feet off the floor when in the tucked position, head albeit on the floor (as opposed to the chin).
When I was with John Scott at his week retreat a couple of Christmases ago he picked up on my lack of ability to control my legs when in navasana, either in the extended position of the posture itself or in the multitude of variations he gave me to work hips, abductors and adductors. He "ahhaaaa'd" at the time when my legs crashed to the floor, noting that this was where I was losing it.
So it seems, that nearly 2 years later that the proverbial penny drops and this is what he was talking about. Control. Finite small levels of control right at the edge of a posture where you've maxed out your ability and sheer will power has to take over. It's reconnecting the neural connections back to the parts of the body that, when as a kid you could gleefully control, but over time have 'lost' the communication route back to their usefullness.
So, I find myself in that quasi 'Kill-Bill' scenario trying to get my brain to connect to my legs and muscles to 'will' them back into enough action for the lift. And slowly and surely my body's taking notice and things are beginning to lift.
A nice sense of achievement filled me today. Very nice.
Posted by graeme at 6:01 PM | Comments (0)
September 20, 2007
Glad that's over
Today a release of software was due out to the Customer and as always I knew I would be in for a rough time. The final hours before the software is frozen there's always a mad scramble to try and get as many fixes and issues resolved as possible before it's finally released. Last night I thought I had everything done, and had actually switched onto another project, when I received the email seeking my help with the release. As part of my Sabatical I gave up the roll of Team Leader on this stuff so it's not strictly my responsibility to get the stuff out the door any more but whenever there's a push everyone knows there's only one person who can get things sorted. Me! (Big ego push there, but it happens to be true). So 4 defects, 1 GPF (general protection fault - ie mucho problemo) and 1 last minute change request everything was done, 3.5 hours flat. Things is I had to miss the monthly meeting where I was supposed to be getting a commitment award for staying with the company for so long (yes, I know, I wonder why too), which was a shame, but there you go. When needs must.
Still, I'm still hacked off about all of this as it always ends up like this. Grrrrr. Moan over.
Oh, Teacher helped me in Bhujapidasana this morning by grabbing hold of my bottom foot and easing me over by my shoulder. Most welcome! Loved it!
Posted by graeme at 6:16 PM | Comments (0)
September 19, 2007
Feeling light
I have to admit these last couple of days I've been feeling very light when I've been walking out of work. There's lots of free play in my legs, more space in my hips and more freedom of movement than I can ever remember. It's a nice feeling. Yesterday in class I managed with the teacher's help to get a nice tight bind in Mari D. I've noticed recently that I'd been feeling a bit bloated so decided I was going to have a day of fruit before heading home for the usual evening meal. It's one of these things where I actually felt like I was eating all day (again) but it seems to have done the trick, just shifting that feeling enough to make a difference to my practice. Nice.
Posted by graeme at 5:57 PM | Comments (0)
September 18, 2007
Rattling practice
I've started reading the book on the Yoga Sutras that I picked up at the Shala yesterday. I read it on the train on the way in, then the tube. I've noticed that when I read the free newspaper in the morning I'm skimming through things so fast just so I can get to the end of the paper by the time I need to get off. It's a bit like surfing the internet late at night when you're getting all this information thrown at you and your head kinda spins for a while afterwards.
Today I had this thought rattling around me head. It was there when I started and certainly there when I went to do Sun A instead of Virabharasana after Utkatasana in warrior. Doh! One of those, "oops I've done something wrong" kinda moments when you're body's telling you there's something up with the sequence before you even realise what it is that's out of place. Then in savasana at the end the though cropped up again. Hmmmn. And the thought?
"yoga citta vrtti nirodah"
Posted by graeme at 4:39 PM | Comments (0)
September 17, 2007
5 Hours
Thats how much sleep I had last night and this morning I'm like "Zombie-Gee"! After teacher training I went across to the T'ai Chi Teacher's house with my flow yoga teacher to help them sort out the layout for their new book. It's a lot of fun being around these guys as the both have so much knowledge about their respective fields. Both are Master level instructors (train the trainer types), and incredibly funny to be around. They're really good at sparing of one another, one taking the 'western' approach (she is an ex-aerobics 'queen'), the other the 'eastern', so you can imagine there was some interesting conversation going on around the table for dinner last night. I didn't get back to the comfort of my own bed until nearly mid night and this morning I'm paying the cost. I did, however, make the choice to get up and practice this morning though I'm planning on power napping either lunchtime or early evening when I stumble off the train.
Still, I did pick up a rather interesting book at the shala this morning on the yoga sutras, so that may just keep me awake. I was so out of it in practice this morning I've no idea whether it was good or bad. Probably the nearest to no-attachment I'm likely to get. I can't even remember getting there.
;>
Posted by graeme at 7:58 AM | Comments (0)
September 14, 2007
Ships
I've been noticing recently that I'm getting drawn to complete strangers that I come across, girls, obviously, but strangers none the less. It's a strange thing to notice that I'm noticing these people. There's a short, quick, non-existing connection, then they're gone, but during that fleeting moment there's that thought that goes through my head that, perhaps, this would go somewhere. Understand that it's happened maybe twice in the last 3 months, it's not an every day occurrence for sure, but there's something definitely going on inside me that's making me think/feel this way. Just as soon as it comes, boom, it's gone. I'm guessing it's just the longing, a longing to be with someone, be a bit closer than apart, almost like the further away from it I get the stronger it becomes. Then, just like that, there's a face in front of me and I've passed all this emotional attachment onto a complete stranger who's done nothing more than find themselves in my close proximity. No wonder my relationships have gone south if I've this much expectation of someone before they even open their mouth.
Needless to say I bring this up because it happened again this morning, on the short journey into work.
I got down onto the platform waiting for the tube to turn up, me sitting on the floor on top of my yoga mat bag, she, a few feet away on the seat surrounded by people. I got on the first train that approached but she never moved.
Then, as the train moved off and I looked out the window our eyes locked.
This feeling of 'what if' passed through me. What if she'd been the one I was supposed to meet, whatever 'supposed to' means... You spend all your life up to the point where you meet someone looking for them, well most of it maybe, then when you do, they get on a different train. Yeah, yeah, and I get all the stuff about providence, karma, all that stuff. I'm just brain dumping here. If only that saying about London buses was true.
As for the girl, for this one I guess I'll never know.
Posted by graeme at 2:08 PM | Comments (0)
September 13, 2007
Goanyersellweeeman!!!
The flatmate was kind enough in the end to spend most of the time talking with her boyfriend not to care too much that I was inside watching the 'other' game. When they came inside England was already 2 nil up and the Scots were kinda pinned down most of the time.
Then this happened
I just about shrieked the house down, nearly gave the flatmate a heart attack, but oh, what a beautiful goal. It's a bit like having Vicoria Beckham play for LA Galaxy and score against Pele's Brazil team!!! Just fantastic.
Naturally, I've been on a high all day!
Thanks Kenny for the link!
Posted by graeme at 7:20 PM | Comments (0)
September 12, 2007
Uh oh....
I can feel it coming. There's tension in the air and I'm at my wits end what to do. The flatmate's been tremendous company over the last couple of weeks but I think she's gone and done it this time, and that might just be the end of it.
She wants to watch the England game on the T.V.
Arrrggghhh, what's a scotsman to do. There's like going to be no chance of finding a pub around here showing the France game. Double arrgggghhhh!!
Oh well, I'll just have to practice detachment and catch the winning score tomorrow!
Posted by graeme at 4:13 PM | Comments (1)
September 11, 2007
Nine Eleven
I finished watching that Fahrenheit 9/11 film yesterday. God it didn't half make me think.
Still, the one thing that stuck with me most about that time was the emails from my friends in America, specifically the line that read
... we're under attack....
just unbelievable.
Weird having a moon day off yoga to ponder it all.
Posted by graeme at 6:40 PM | Comments (0)
September 10, 2007
Not the best way to start the week
When I got to the shala this morning I was a bit bemused to find that I couldn't locate my mat bag anywhere. Huh. I must've been still stuck in that pre-wake up haze cos I wasn't sure if I'd taken my bag home with me on Friday so I could clean the mat. Anyway, H located a spare mat for me and I started to practice but all the way through Sun A and Sun B it was nagging at the back of my mind that my mat was here. So, I had to stop and go look, and yeah, there it was, neatly tucked at the bottom of the shelving right in the floor.
By this time my head was all over the place and breath control literally right out the window. But it made for a nice easy going practice. I resigned to just being in the practice and watching it all take place round about me. Mari-D binding's going a bit south these days but I'm trying not to pay that much attention, it's still miles better than it's ever been (ok adjusted).
Still, I felt a bit disgruntled when I left the shala, almost miffed at myself for not trying harder to find my mat when I first got in. Hmmmmn. Funny how the little things are getting to me these days. That's what staying up to 10.30pm watching Superman Returns does for me!
Posted by graeme at 9:06 AM | Comments (0)
September 9, 2007
Night on the town
It's amazing what a difference one night on the town can make. All those things that I thought I was missing, getting drunk, spending lots of money at a whim for no good reason than because I could, staying up into the small hours of the morning and lying in bed until middle of the afternoon in my pit; how when there's a whiff of them near me now they really are no longer so appealing.
Saturday evening was spent up Clapham at a very nice restaurant where I have to say the food was excellent. Then we took a wander up and down the street taking in a couple of the bars. I like champagne like anyone else but 1/2 a glass is about my limit. By the time we hit the last bar, the flatmate and her man were into their 3rd bottle. I made the mistake of asking the flatmate to choose me a drink and when I got back to the bar from the toilet she'd ordered a bottle of champers and a champagne cocktail for each of us. That round alone must've cost her a small fortune, bars are never the cheapest of places to buy champagne in the first place. Still. It was her night out too and she works darn hard for her money so she's entitled to spend it anyway she chooses. Mind you, she had a heck of a hang over this morning, one thing I'm glad I had avoided.
Posted by graeme at 8:12 PM | Comments (0)
September 7, 2007
Coming down to the crunch
Work's getting a tad heated these days. The Customer are on their 8-yearly review of their estate when they put stuff back out to tender so everyone's running around daft trying to answer proposals on this, that and the next thing. And during all of this development and testing of two systems goes on abated. I'll be glad when it's all over as to be honest it's doing my nut. Next week's not going to get any better when it all comes to a head. Ha! I may even be out of a job.
Class this morning was a quiet affair, quite literally to start with though the studio filled up a bit later on. For the last 2 days I've been getting squished in paschimottanasana, right to the floor. My hamstrings have been complaining a bit during the afternoons but it's been helping me get my head closer to my knees in arddha baddha of all things. I actually touched nose to knee for the first time this morning.
As far as the adventures in bhujapidasana went I had a go at lacing my feet one on top of the other, rather than crossed at the ankles as I had been doing. And although it didn't help much with right foot over left, it did when I swapped over and had them reversed, when here too I lifted off the floor for the first time. Meanwhile there was a somewhat large pool of sweat forming on the middle of my mat dripping off the side of my mat. Worst still, I was that far over that for a good while I thought I was stuck. In the end I managed to get over the tipping point and crashed unelegantly back down on to my bum (backside). Nice bit of fun to finish the week.
On a funny note an advert pinned to the notice board calling for a good looking ashtangi, with acting experience to take part in a TV program had a hand written message that read "I can act but I'm ugly" scrawled over it!
Posted by graeme at 7:04 PM | Comments (0)
September 6, 2007
NP Complete
The problem with complex programming is well, it's complex. Errrr. How difficult can it be to get a label on a view to reflect the text you want it to? Damn difficult. I spent 2 weeks at the start of the project I'm on trying to get some information into a list box. 2 weeks! And for the best part of this week it's been trying to get a bit of text to display the word "hello". Ah, the joys of learning a new programming language.
[ wordText setString @"hello" ];
frmMe.lblText.Caption = "hello"
SetVariable( MY_WIN, MY_WIN_LABEL, GetString( HELLO_STR ) );
who'd have thought.
Practice this morning was nice and warm. I had a real enjoyable time with bhuja. I was a tad bad and watched one of the girls run through her bhuja. I got advice from my teacher once. He said, "find someone your own size and watch and see how they work their postures". So I've a few ideas of what to do with my feet. It's one of the pleasures of the practice for me that there's always something else to try.
Bit like programming really.
Posted by graeme at 7:41 PM | Comments (1)
September 5, 2007
Getting it from all angles...
It's been one of those days when literally everywhere I turn there's something else I need to do. London buses comes to mind, all turning up at the same time. It was bad enough on Monday being asked to review a 140 page technical FSpec, but today I was chopping and changing every 5 minutes. Sometimes it just gets too much.
And on top of that my legs are dying underneath me. I've been working right there on that edge where things can get a bit on the painful side, and it's starting to catch up on me. Maybe it's just an age thing.
Roll on the weekend.
Posted by graeme at 7:58 PM | Comments (1)
September 4, 2007
Bhuja
So for the past couple of weeks I've been working on Bhujapidasana, least that's where I've been stopping at. I still feel like it's still being added in to my practice at the end rather being part of it. It's still an awful lot of effort right at the end, there, making me sweat like buckets before collapsing in to backbends. The fact that I'm back doing bend preps as well is helping with the strength in my arms, so it's getting there, slow but sure.
Today I was playing with the positioning of my feet when I tuck under. I just can't seem to get my right foot off the floor. Left foot's well and clear but I've got most of my weight on my big toe. Oh, and my head. Atleast I'm not fighting with the t-shirt shenanigans that I was upto in Australia and Mysore when I'd stop practice to throw a t-shirt on to help with my legs slipping down my arms. I'm missing the opening that the kurmasana's were making with my hips, though, as I felt I could get my head and shoulders further underneath and behind the backs of my legs when I was getting through these postures.
I'll need to check out the online sources for some heads-up on bhuji.
On a better note. I'm getting more sleep now Big B has finished as there's literally nothing on the T.V. that's of any interest anymore. Perhaps that'll have a bigger impact on Bhuji than anything else!
ps. No news on the date front. Bummer :<
Posted by graeme at 6:32 PM | Comments (0)
September 2, 2007
The waiting game
So the waiting game begins. I had not one but two, what I thought, successful 'dates' over the weekend. Ok, so in both cases it was just a case of something to drink, something to eat and a chat for an hour or so, but it's a start. I really like both of them though I know I'm hoping to see one of the girls again fairly soon. I feel strange calling them 'girls'.but equally as strange saying I'd like to see one of the women again. Hmmnnn. Maybe there's still some maturing there to be done on my part. Anyways, it's down to waiting to see if anything comes of it all. For me the waiting, the not knowing what sort of an impact if any I've made on someone, is tough to take. I know all I've to do is, well, err, do nothing, but there's a part of me that's always screaming at myself to text them, email them, just one more time. There's the doubt that what I might've said and what I might've wrote comes back to me go kick around my head for a while before leaving me with that gut-sick feeling. It's as bad as getting nervous before or during a date. I got a bit tongue tied during one of the conversations, which really for me isnt that hard. I could feel the heat rising underneath my cheeks and my mind going fuzzy. I kept telling myself just to breath and that it would pass. Good to see some girls, sorry, women, still have that effect on me. Or rather, I still have that stumbling when I'm around women I like. After all, there just sitting there being and it's me that's getting all hot under the collar.
So I'm hoping its to be an interesting week. For sure the search will no doubt continue for Miss Right but for now at least I'm glad I'm getting back in to the swing of things. I've been on my own to long. It's time to share this little journey of mine with someone else.
Tomorrow starts my third month with the new teacher and I'm feeling good about that. Sometimes I still feel like I'm on sabatical and it'll all end and I'll have to go back home to Scotland. So every day I'm there I give a little thanks for the powers that be that have brought me to where I am and helping me make the friendships I'm making. Today I received an email from a friend I made in New Zealand. A place I stayed in for only 4 days and yet during that time a tenuous link managed to grow. It's an ego thing for sure to think there's someone on the other side of the planet that's thought of me, or atleast wondered enough to get in touch. Technology's such a wonderful thing. I'm glad she's doing well, though her life's been as hectic as mine in the intervening 10 months.
Posted by graeme at 8:06 PM | Comments (1)