Woke up this Morning

Sounds like a Mills and Boons book title, dunnit?

A friend said this to me last night over a quiet drink. Apparently in my day I might've resorted to violence, though I've already stated here that I'm a pacifist I could see where she was coming from. But now in my later years I'm handling things somewhat differently.

I'd like to think that this is down to the years of astanga that I've now got under my belt. It'd be easy to pin the change in my attitude on the main driving force in me over the last, almost, decade now. Maybe teacher training, and the emotionally draining experience of the massage course I bombed from this year, are all adding up to make a Gee 2.0.

Heck, I'm even making ammends with the girl from a couple of years back who walked out on me pretty much after I kissed her (hey, I'm really not that bad a kisser before you think it!).

And stranger still, the very first girl that I wanted to have sex with, who would've plucked my cherry so to speak had she chosen to say yes (she didn't) got in touch with me after nearly 27 years. I haven't seen or heard of her since I left to go to university when I was 18. She looks exactly the same and even with the passing of the years and the addition of a wee bouncy barrell of joy to her family I can't help but think 'What if?'.

There's even the chance I may be going back to teach in the little hall where it all pretty much started, getting back to what I like doing best, helping students out, hopefully the right way.

Some things chance, some things stay the same.

Citta vritti right enough.

Personally I just think it's because I'm knackered. It's been too much and I'm done in.

Resistance is going, mind is being still. Letting go there is.

Funny day to miss SKPJ. :<