Ashtanga Traveler

Now this might be considered a positive idea by some("Six inches above the ground")....but at the moment it is the lack of grounding that is problematic...it sort of seems like a perpetual lack of grounding, as if just when my feet come down a huge wind gushes past making contact ever so unattainable.

I am not entirely sure where to begin today. Yoga is ever so present with me.....during my practice, during my day, during my night, during my smiles and my tears. It is a calm, it is a voice, it is reason, it is un-reason, it is nothing and everything. I have been focusing on my heart lately....opening, examining, internalizing, externalizing, knowing, experiencing. It is so very fragile, and yet so strong. My heart is connected inextricably to my truth, my truthfulness, my mind and spirit of life. When sadness weighs heavy, my heart swells, breaths, sustains me despite the aching. When I am content, perhaps even happy....my heart again is there as a support, as a place for all the energy to go and cool or heat as need be.

My heart is hurting right now, more than I even know how to express....but I tell you what, it is so strong....like a giant. And the physical strength that results is quite amazing....the torturous emotional waves are hard though....and then even my arms find it difficult to hold me up....but then....no problem. The cycle is strange and unpredictable.

"Contentment brings supreme happiness."
II.42 santosat anuttamah sukhalabhah

"Perfect concentration on the heart reveals the contents of the mind."
III.35 hrdaye cittasamvit

Through my practice over the past few days (Saturday, Monday and Tuesday) I have been facing some very difficult mental and emotional challenges. I do not expect that they will simply disappear because I am ready to face them....but I am feeling a little relieved, freed, liberated, and even amazed at myself.

Self-expression is so incredibly important to sanity, and perhaps even insanity (I am not entirely sure what the difference is at times), even when that expression is very difficult. I do not know what I would do if I was unable to speak....perhaps that would be good challenge for me, for a time.

Anyhow, this morning's practice was very intense....very strong, very light....like the pitter-patter of raindrops that fall just before the first clash of thunder and lightening, with the encompassing vaccuum and silence. Standing poses were fast, maybe too fast. The seated postures were all connected along one thread. I was noticably emotionally swinging between sadness and anger, to the point of near tears. But then my strength would fire up again, calm the turmoil.

Handstands were particularly "in the zone". Jump throughs and backs are getting better. I feel lighter each day. But I have yet to figure out how NOT to just barely touch down with my toes....not enough strength in the shoulders to pivot and "float" back...it is beginning to erk me, I can tell you.....and is amplified by my current state of mind.

I was helped quite a bit in Setu Bandasana.....I have been completely collapsing in my neck, bad lady. I think I was doing this to a certain extent because I did not "know" otherwise....but now I think I get it. It is a tough pose.....up until now it has been in the "hurry up and get it over with category".

Back bends were GREAT. Must be the heart opening......as they just flew past me, energy trailing beyond to carry me through the day. I am smiling even now, just thinking about this.

Yesterday, my teacher was very helpful in Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana.....she was trying to help me "find" the correct alignment in my hips so that they create a plane perpendicular to the floor. It is really hard to find this on your own. On one side she had me raise the bent leg hip up a bit, and the opposite was true on the other side...clearly I am a little disoriented. But is good to think about. In addition, she had me bring my feet a bit closer together in in the Pratsarita Padottasana A-D series to extend more in the spine.

Saturday's class was a "ladies" practice, so not much to write about really. I skipped practice on Friday as a "ladies holiday". Saturday was good though, very simple and slow, rejuvinating.

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Yoga is personal, so why am I so inclined to write about it, share my feelings, insights, short-comings, weaknesses, even craziness with others? I am beginning to feel very isolated in my daily life....perhaps this little train of words is my outreach, my contribution.

Okay so I lied....maybe I am not as strong as I thought, maybe it is just a facade, a transient phase.....cuz today was shakesville all the way.

I had a really bad night's sleep and little apetite yesterday so I am not surprized. In the split handstand sequence we do following the prasarita padottanasana series in standing I felt like there must have been an earthquake going on....I was rocking all over the joint. I managed to hold for most of the 15 breaths (about 12)but still....

I proceeded on...cuz despite the shakeiness and even light-headedness I was feeling pretty good....then the Mari's....and total wipeout exhaustion...weird. So I did not vinyasa between sides, just took my time to try and recover....and it worked. The rest of my practice was great....all the way to Bakasana and then complete back bending series through Chakra Bandhasana....BUT, I was totally shot and unfortunately I had to speed through the finishing sequence in order to hurry up and rest....and dash home to meet up for an appointment by 9.....needless to say I burst into tears, and found it trying to recover any compsure what-so-ever until about an hour ago (it is now well after mid-day).

I am a MESS!!!!!! The thing is I have not practiced any intermed. poses for a whole week, so I was sure they were going to shock my system....but this was incredible.....and I still fill a massive pit in my torso all along my spine....as if it was drained completely of all the prana......

The other thing that has occurred to me today is that my journal entries have been way too serious....I mean where is the fucking humour....this is supposed to be fun....at least some of the time...I think I am alittle sick of myself quite frankly.....wouldn't it be cool to be able to just hire out a new being.....just for a change of pace.....you know maybe for a day or so.....urgh!

Well I certainly needed that.....I went to practice yesterday am and then went home and crawled into bed....did not emerge until after noon.....nice shower, and then worked on my yoga diary for an hour, before setting off for a session with my tattoo artist.....good therapy for me....I am still rather amazed at what he put on......amazed at myself to a certain degree cuz I was not sure about it until he went for it. Three sutras.....I.2, I.3, and III.35. The last one (planned to be II.42) he will add on when he does the remaining outline for the shoulder along with maybe one or two more.....I am sort of curious what other yogi/yoginis think about this. I have quite a bit of other ink in various places....but no other text.....

To top the day off I went out with a friend to have a catch up....she is a new friend but one of those people who fits right into life as if they have always been there....it was really cool....needless to say the combination of staying out to midnight AND having a very sore arm...meant a rest for me today.....

So what do ya think? Obviously the piece is far from finished....the color will go on after the total outline is completed...probably another 2-3 sittings or so.

The days go by.....Saturday practice was really great, despite the sore arm....wore a long sleeve T for most of practice to protect it from this and that. Was given Flying Bakasana to work on now....it is tricky....cuz my large bum wants to "bottom" out after I get my knees on my shoulders....After many attempts I did manage to land and hold the final...so I called it quits.....to backbends...all great.

It is so hard to write about good practices....maybe my frame of mind is too negative....I mean I know I like to winge....so it is oh so easy to go on and on about how things suck.....but really!

After practice we dropped the kidz off with the grandparents for 2 whole days....the first time EVER!!!!!! Two days and two nights as if the children did not exist....I missed them heaps, of course, but as we were getting ready to pick them up, I thought...wow I could maybe even go a week!

As for the journey, we headed down to Kawhia abit south of Raglan along the West Coast of the North Island....2.5 hrs outside of Auckland. We stayed at this AMAZING little house (friend's bach) which overlooked an estuary....no other house or person in sight....they had guava trees, avacados, lemons..... the tuis were all around...the sun was high and bright. I had a great little practice on Sunday morning within little slice of heaven. It was somewhat strange because C was there....he has never seen a practice...suffice it to say he said afterward that I needed to EAT more. He took lots of photos for the project we are starting to think and talk about (will keep all posted).....

We did not do much at all otherwise. Cooked a nice meal on Sunday night.....slept in on Monday.....breakie and then headed to Raglan on the way home...lovely little surfie town...with a "could live there" feel.

This morning I decided to hang at home and spend some time with my two awesome kidz that I missed.....and after getting things started at work I sped down for a little fast practice during an incubation period....life of science. It was so fast I really think I must have forgotten something....anyway, it was good to move after a break yesterday....and I will be set for 6am practice tomorrow. Hopefully it will not be so damn cold.

Well.....did I say something like it is hard to write about good practices? I think it is equally hard to write about reall really really crap ones....maybe because there is just too much to say....or because the towel has been thrown in....

Yep, this morning was a sore loser of a practice....the kind that shrieks loudly of "I WISH I HAD STAYED IN BED"..... okay, there was nothing particularly wrong to start off or even finish...I think I managed to creat it in my head during the practice....like I was completely seperate from my body going through the motions....I was wishing for a bad practice. The entire time I was just wanting to be in Savasana....not throwing myself here, there, and everywhere.

So suffice it to say, no news or real comments beyond whinging. I stopped after the primary, and finished as quickly as possible so I could just lie there with my blankets and eye pillow...wallowing.

I started to think about the Shel Silverstein's kid poem.... "Sick"...
"I cannot go to school today, said little Peggy Anne MaKay, I have the measles, the mumbs, a gash, a rash, and purple bumps...." or something like that....

And after practice I was soooo grouchy, both my kids "uninvited" me from their next birthday parties.....which are not until Nov and next May! I am on a roll!

I am sure to seriously offend many others as the day slithers on...will keep ya posted.

I have to admit, when I woke about a few minutes before the alarm, I was thinking...ALREADY? So I reset for another 20 minutes. The result was that I left the house at 6am and was 15 minutes later the usual starting my practice. The nice thing was that those 15 extra minutes meant that by the time I got to the shala, the room was very warm.

My practice was really nice...I was worried cuz yesterday was such a lousy one. The extra heat imediately helped my body find its place in the room, on my mat. My head was calm and collected, focused....I was quite surprised. I decided to take the lead and just go with it. I was not as light as usual, probably because of a late-ish and heavy dinner...but not too bad. My shoulder and hip were okay as well. So really no complaints.

There were a few things that wanted to address asana wise....

Baddha Konasana A,B,C.....I am having trouble accessing the mid thoracic vertabrae region (heart chakra) in just about every asana, but it particularly is obvious when I try to "flatten" my back in Baddha Konasana A.....I think it is flat, but then my teacher will come round (not today but in general) and press exactly in the middle to help me find it....so it seems to me that it must be rounded slightly. I also have trouble keeping my sits bones on the ground...they want to rise up and forward. In B, I am in big trouble...I cannot get my head on top of my feet at all....again it is probably this heart region and in the neck.....and then in C...the hardest, from my point of view, I teeder around trying to hold my thighs down, relax in my thighs and shoulders, and somehow roll my pelvis forward.....it is sort of a joke...but this series of asanas is just so important.

The other asana I felt particularly attached to today is setu bandhasana at the end of primary....it is in the category of "I cannot stand this".....now I know I am working on this and it has imporved...but honestly it is a toughy.....I am much more comfortable just rolling back and collapsing in my neck, versus resting firm and strong, extending from the head to the feet...using the back of the legs and pelvis to support my weight...YUCK! okay, it is not that bad, and like I said it is getting better...even my teacher noticed my attempt.

I think we may be booking the airline tix today, fingers crossed....if all goes well, one of the tix will be paid in miles, and save us a couple of grand!

Needless to say, my boys very quickly forgot about uninviting me to their birthdays last night...especially when I showed up at the creche with a bunch of lollies....such a bad mum.

One of the things I have been horribly contemplative about is Anahata Chakra....which is the heart Chakra (4th)....and is very much involved in issues of love and consciousness. In fact one of the sutras I had put on my arm is: hrdaye cittasamvit.... hrdaye on the heart, citta consciousness, samvit knowledge, awareness

Translations include:

"By samyama (integration, concentration) on the region of the heart, the yogi acquires a thorough knowledge of the contents and tendencies of the consciousness" BKS Iyengar

"Perfect concentration on the heart reveals the contents of the mind."
B. Bouachaud

In my yoga practice I have been really trying to access the mid thoracic vertebrae region which is basically the region that encompasses the heart....I am finding it really hard...the muscles there seem to be working as a single entity and not independent....however, I had a break through...which was the "opening" that happened about a month ago (6 wks?) and led to much pain.....etc....and now enables me to a certain extent to use this region more effectively particularly in backbends...which is all about heart opening and probably why I am a little nutz most of the time. However, in forward bends I find it very difficult to access this region, despite concentration and focus. It has been helpful through some “touch� adjustments recently. Almost every teacher at my school will at some point come over to me during my practice and hit that spot in an adjustment, so it must be rather obvious that it is something I am trying hard to work on.

I had an intersting conversation today after practice with another person at my school....revolving around the differences between the primary series and second series among other things. This person has been practicing the primary series for many years, but has not been moved on. As a result this person has felt like her practcie has caused a particularly introverted attitude (which probably happens to a certain extent no matter what kind of yoga you are doing or what series you are practicing) but the comments are worth considering because after many years of primnary series and not much as a balance it is quite easy to see how such a feeling might develop. I find the second series to be hugely exposing....major heart opening....to a certain degree the opposite to the primary, and in many ways much harder to deal with emotionally and mentally (for me, but also because of nadi sodhana). But it feels liberating because of the outpouring of let's face it "love".... yet causes series feelings of vulnerablility.

So the issue then becomes or question perhaps, when is it time to move forward....some of us might not be able to drop back and stand up ever....yet should one necessarily miss the very powerful heart opening poses in second series to counterbalance (in a way) the forward bending (inward facing) in primary?

The interesting thing to me is that I identified with Anahata chakra instantly upon reading about it in depth quite awhile ago now... and I have always been drawn to the backward bending postures….so I have this feeling that it is where most of my energy resides at present..... it is the seat of balance within the body.

The other interesting thing is that anger, which has been a huge issue for me, is an/the opposing force....and so it all seems to make "sense" because in order to understand and accept things such as love, you need to have a strong appreciation and then acceptance/detachment of/for the dark side of that.

And the deities in this chakra are very cool....Kundalini Shakti, the main female energy resides along with two others(Ishana Rudra Shiva and Kakini Shakti)...and also pictured are two intertwined triangles one facing up (Shiva-male) and the other facing down (Shakti-female) in perfect balance (ya right)....Interestingly the tattoo I have on my back (1996)is all about the male and female connection, balance, and imbalance…. But of course represented in a very different way.

Practice this morning was an elephant, slow and heavy but overall solid. I stopped after the Mari's to pick out a Mysore blanket for a gift for my best friend (30th bday) which is tonight. So at that point I had to unfold all the blankets and lay them out in order to choose the "one". He is an ocean person so I thought I needed mostly blues and greens....the one I picked is mostly sea green with some deep blue and red. I think it will be perfect. I debated on whether to pick it for him or take him to decide for himself...but sometimes it is important to just make the decision.

I had a really terrible practice on Saturday, and have taken off two days since....why? I think there were two main reasons why my practice on Saturday was so yuck....the first was that I went out on Friday night for a 30th bday party (which was lots of fun), but I did not get in until 12:30ish...so late for me...and I was consequently very tired....but I have been tired before.

I think the real reason was I was missing my kids. I switched my schedule around to work Tues-Friday about 2 weeks ago.....I was doing Mon-Thurs....but because of my yoga commitments on Saturday morning...I thought why not switch it around.....but it is not working....cuz I go from four days of work to a 5th half day of yoga stuff...and because I was out on Friday night I did not get to hang with them then either....it was a sad but good lesson for me.....

While work and yoga are very important....for $ to live on and yoga as my sanity and hopefully new way of life sometime...my kids are the jewels...and not seeing them makes all this other stuff just worthless. So I have decided to switch my schedule back so that I have Fridays at home again....then the Saturday morning thing will not be as obvious to me.

What I did do was just sloth through primary til I got to Navasana, and then went to finishing.....then went home and had three great days with my family....so all in all I feel good, and will head to my first practice since this afternoon....and then head back into am Mysore tomorrow with a new and refreshed spirit.

I went to the 4:30 pm Mysore class last night and then to a 6am class this morning...so needless to say the highlight was the physical fatigue in my arms. Both practices were pretty good though.

I have been finding that eve practices are generally interesting for me....new faces, different vibe, generally my body is warmer and more flexible, but not as strong...balance off a bit. There is something more comedic about the evening practice....more sense of humour in the room. I actually burst out laughing at one point...not at someone but with them.....one of the students was being talked though supta konasana ....and the poor thing was making such a racket landing on her heels...I am sure there will be bruises....now it is of course not a laughing matter when someone clearly is hurting themselves.....but at the same....we were all there once....so it was more a laugh at the memory of figuring out how not to land on the heels I guess....

I went through the primary only and then did minimal backbends so that I was not too jazzed up and could expect to drop off to sleep. I felt shakey esp upsidedown, which is sort of peculiar for me, but I have been noticing it in the eve practices moreso than morning.

I prefer the morning practice although I do wish it could start at about 9am.....twinkle, twinkle....

Today was my first time through my entrie practice in over a week. I was tired, physically, but actually it did not seem to affect me too much, with the exception of rather pathetic jump throughs and backs.....low lying ones.....with a serieous graze across the mat. My handstands were pretty good, although my arms and shoulders were TIRED.....so there were some shakey moments. Second series felt great. My teacher picked up off the mat in Dhanurasana...which always feels good. And Ustrasana-Kapotasana was relatively peaceful. My Flying Bakasana was a huge JOKE....I had three attempts to land...and on the last I was sort of successful, but the stable Bakasana is much prettier....I am finding it difficult to get my knees right up under my shoulders....they sort of land more on my upper arm making it more difficult to straigten my arms once I have found my balance. I do really like this pose, and I am looking forward to more of the army ones in second series, assuming I get there one day....pincha mayurasana/karandavasana, for instance.

My teacher talked to me last night and today about some of the standing series poses. My hips have been feeling a bit all over the place...and indeed they are!!! So I have to focus on pulling the front leg up and back in twisted triangle and similar poses so that my pelvis is perpendicular to the floor. Plus I have been wiggling me feet in to close esp on the second side, as a result of shifting heel to foot instead of heel to heel when I transition from one side to the other.

As for India!!! The tix are booked. One ticket on air miles and the other three totalling about 5,500 NZD, better than I expected really. We leave on the 25th of Nov, spend a week in Singapore with friends and then arrive in Bangalore on the 2nd...head to Goa for a workshop for two weeks then to Mysore on the 18th until the 12th of Feb. It is going to be somewhat crazy....but an adventure. I have sorted accomodation in Goa and in Mysore for the start. I still have to arrange internal travel, but am working on that. I am on top of visas and shots. I have left a few things for my husband to deal with like insurance, subletting our pad, etc...nothing like delegation, right?

We have started talking to the kids about the trip (mostly about the tigers and cobras :)) and my teachers have given us heaps of photos to show them. So...it is four + months to go. Not sure how I am going to break it to work just yet but I figure I have a little time to do that....and they already think I am a flake..... so I certainly do not want to let them down.

Anyone out there who has taken their kids to Mysore, or India in general that has some advice....would be greatly appreciated!

Count down started.....127 days.

I was so ready to sleep in this morning...not sure why. The justifactions are getting stronger and stronger.....but I am glad I went as my practice was great....not light, but still good all around. I completed primary and second up to "crashing" Bakasana.....I had a little chat with the teacher about that place where we "loose" it...ya know, in jump throughs and jump backs.....in drop backs and drop overs, coming from handstand into Navasana, and needless to say Flying Bakasana....it is the point where the body just goes....what the f-ck?....throw in the towel, bandhas?

It is a hard place to access.....like a black box, blind spot.....no body memory, therefore the visualization is really hard, and so if you cannot mentally visualize, how do you do it for real?

My teacher suggested an exercise to help that her Osteo gave her recently.....

Sit on the floor with arms crossed over heart, knees bent, (sit-up position) and slowly let you body down to the mat so that each part of your spine and back surface hits the floor.....slowly, controlled....find the "loose it" point and then work on it until you can actually do the exercise. Suffice it to say it is HARD!!!!!

So my plan is to add that to my list of little exercises (shoulder and hip stuff).....

Otherwise my mental energy in practice today was ratehr consumed by this project the apprentices are working on to present Yoga Sutras of Patanjali to the school....

I thought I would start by saying I had a nice easeful practice this morning.

zh crawled into bed next to me about 4am......at that point i had another hour and fifteen to go before getting up.....it was nice to have him cuddle in. The weather has gone cold again.....crisp...but still cold. Instead of actually rising when the alarm went I stayed a bit longer, pushed my practcie off for a half hour, but it was worth the extra comfort in the dark.

Fridays are generally really wonderful practice days.....the vibe is positive and there are usually a fair number of people...today was sort of low...maybe 10 or so....but it was easy....everyone seemed easy....like we had all taken a "chill" pill....a nice close to the week. I was not particularly focused on anything really. When I got to the seated poses....I felt the swell of a small groan.....like I still had another hour to go.....but it went....I did the entire primary....no vinyasa between sides....and basic backbends....chill. My arms are still really tired, I think from the Tuesday/Wednesday 12 hour practices (in between them, I mean).....so I was in now shape after two hard out practices yesterday and wed to push...and tomorrow is another hard out one for me generally.

I feel as though I have been moving away from the Sutras a bit....we have had this Sutras presentation project to work on....which has sort taken me away from my readings, thoughts, and writings about things (and more into designing posters etc)....so I a looking forward to when this little project closes and we can go back into the nitty gritty.

Work is much the same....I am such a huge slacker these days...I am even surprising myself. I am certainly trying each morning to arrive with a clear head and plan of what needs to happen...but then I just loose the drive...and muck around doing ANYTHING but the work I am supposed to be concentrating on.

Going to see Faranheit 9/11 tomorrow.....:)

Saturday practice was really nice....2 hours and 45 minutes long....It was strong and light...although I am far from strong enough to do flying Bakasana on the first attempt....took me four.

My teacher was trying to talk me through it but I think was possibly finding it a little too funny to watch!

In the afternoon I went to see Mike Moore's newest flic....BIG Applause....but I walked out so angry, so sad.... finding it hard to be American to say the least....wanting to turn and run, but at the same time DO SOMETHING.

The world is just so shocking. I really do not understand....maybe if I craved what the people in control crave I would get it....power and money.....now I am not going to sit on a high horse here....I do like the lifestyle in which I find myself....and there are so many people in the world that have so much less (in terms of money, social justice, healthcare, etc)....but what is the point....WHAT IS THE POINT?

I wrote to my brother (Marine) when he was in Iraq ('03)and told him to think of all the people he encounterd as just the same as him...the same as me and my two children....equals. I am not sure what he thought of that...if he got it. He is out of the Marines in another few months...I wonder what he will do. He was lucky. But how will he handle a life now, given what he has seen and done....and all in the name of....... all for ......?????

It makes me sick.

I love my brother. I am proud of my brother. I would not want any other person to be my brother. But I am so devastated for him.

"That sounded like the Concorde".....but the Concorde does not fly to NY anymore...... C went down to the street to pack the car....phone rings....P answers.....sirens heard out the window....more than a usual morning, odd....I am running around after H who was about 16 months old...getting into other people stuff like a true toddler(okay not running as I was 8 months pregnant)....we were at 200 The Bowery on the 6th floor.....P tells me we have to go up to the roof....I grab H and we head up......

FLAMES....RED FLAMES....RED RED RED RED RED FLAMES.

I cannot speak. Tears, a flood..... so much fear, the sky a very close ceiling over my head, over the FLAMES...could I touch them? Would they touch me?

Had a day like this lately?.....wish I could just wallow in mud.....

Practice was suprisingly okay though.....weird.....Ashtanga Slugdom here I come.

The feeling has not waned.....perhaps has even increased to giant, over-sized.....lookie for frog leg cuisine.....

Anyway, I went to see my physio again....not for the shoulder, which is still a problem...but I feel I need to do my work for a bit before I get him to help me there....the reason I went today was because of my left hip/back of leg/hammie problem......now what do you suppose was really wrong?.....

Fat Frog Bad Posture.....

I know....what is the frigging point of practicing 2+ hours a day to completely undo everything by slouching effortlessly in front of a laptop no less for the remainder of the day.....Bad Bad Lady.

I am now strapped to a piece of tape up my spine.....and if the tape stretches cuz I have used my back instead of my hips...there is my physio ready and waiting with a whip!....It is quite a big lesson...a good one....I got the full on lecture about what a "slipped disc" is really about...OUCH! SO let's just say I am willing to get strapped in everyday to re-learn the basics...like how to sit, get in and out of a chair, walk...etc.

He also released the piriformis muscle which caused me to just about hit the ceiling in pain....so it is a combo....and I have a stretch to do....lying on my back....left leg up, bent.....left hand on left knee....then bending to the right, grabbing left shin with right hand and gently pulling right and towards me.....

I am really excited about learning all the anatomy and physiology to support my yoga practice...reminds me I have to call in about my course.....

Sometimes I wish I was not female. Let's face it there are 12 times a year (on average) when the female body is ubducted by aleins for 3 maybe 4 days, less for the lucky...and then there are those less fortunate where it carries on and on and on.

I cannot beleive I am writing this down here. But the thing is as I have aged and had kids, changed my lifestyle....it seems to have made this time MORE difficult. I am nearly pullig my hair out now wondering how I can "calm" myself...tame the aleins...the little fucks.

Maybe that is too harsh.....I love being a mother. ANd there are a lot of women out there with a lot more to moan and complain about then me....with REAL issues. I think mine are your average run of the mill ones with a few extras that make me crazy.

Yesterday....the day of the Fat Bloated Frog....I took off from practice in order to mud wallow...would not have wanted to share that energy with anyone. Today, I ditched the mysore class and went in for my own practice, a shortie but goodie. And it was probably just what I needed....not the usual "quiet, morning hello, somber practice" this was chatty and alive...there were two others from my school also practicing then...so it was really delightful.

I left with lifted spirits.

I am trying my best to sit and walk and stand and etc properly, based on my physio appt yesterday....it is not that easy really..... I yanked the tape off though as it was becoming a bit annoying really, but it is a good idea to try out for sure.