Wit's End
Email of frustration I just sent to Meg:
Subject: Nostalgia, mediocrity etc.
from:Andrea
to: Meg
I've been insanely nostalgic lately.
I was just sitting here thinking about how magical it would be to still be an undergrad in Montreal (with all of us still there, of course)....going to class for a couple hours a day and spending the rest of my time sitting at home, cooking and listening to cbc Radio One, while snow falls outside. Um, romanticized image a little? Yeah. I know. The grass is always greener. Not that the grass isn't green here, but, I do miss the freedom of being an undergrad. Remember how we were able to fit yoga in almost every day? Remember how we had the freedom to spend all day (on a weekday no less) reading (poli sci course packs of course) at Starbucks? Remember that? *sigh* Oh my God...remember Pain de l'Inde????
This season makes me nostalgic.
And I worry about the mediocrity. I mean, I'm very happy in this life, but......is it possible to escape mediocrity while living in London, Ontario? I'm not sure.
So much of this, so much of this is fueled by the total and utter lack of yoga in my life, which frustrates me to no end. I can't practise in the morning, because there's no room in our apartment and no where that offers open studio moring practice. I can't practise at home after work, because, again, there's no room in our apartment. I can't practise in a studio because, oh, right, no one here teaches Ashtanga. And meanwhile, I feel like* I've grown a gigantic ass.
I found a woman who teaches a "vinyasa style" class. I'm going to her class tomorrow night and we're having tea afterwards to discuss the possibility of setting up an open studio morning practice somewhere...of course, this all depends on community interest, and, well, if there isn't any then I'm screwed.
Do you know what I keep dreaming about at night? No, not disgusting toilets or going to the bathroom in public [my usual recurring dreams]. I keep dreaming that we move somewhere like New York, or Toronto, or Montreal....and do you know what my first thought is upon finding out that we're moving?!? 'Yessssss.....yoga.'
I'm so fucking frustrated.
And I'm not even PMSing...that was last week.
Rant over.
Now make me feel better.
--A
*Let me be clear: by "feel like I've grown a gigantic ass" I mean to say, "I have grown a gigantic ass."