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February 25, 2005
Here Comes the Sun...
This week, for some reason, has been insane. I kept having pre-work plans, then work, then post-work plans. Meanwhile, I'm leaving tomorrow to spend the day in Ottawa, and then I'm flying out first thing Sunday morning (6:30am)for a week in Cuba.
I completed a five-day cleanse (as of tonight!), and it went way, way better. I planned all my meals ahead of time, which made it much easier, and I felt really good the whole time. I made sure to get enough sleep all week, and being in bed by 10 the other night was a huge luxury...gave me time to chill out and read more of my beach book I Am Charlotte Simmons, Tom Wolfe's latest...which I'm really enjoying. I'm also bring a book called Raymond and Hannah, which is a first novel by a young Canadian author named Stephen Marche, and is supposed to be quite good and quite innovative in terms of structure...and then all the usual magazines for the beach: The Walrus, Maisonneuve, Vogue and Harper's.
Speaking of magazines, yesterday morning I had an interview with the journalism department at Concordia, and it went incredibly well. They told me that I'm a "very strong candidate" and their program sounds awesome...I'm so glad I went to the interview, which I had been considering ditching in favour of all the other errands I had hanging over my head (as I wasn't too interested in the program, because it's a grad diploma, rather than a Master's). Anyhow...it seems like a good, solid second choice (I've made a huge decision about grad school, but I don't want to talk about it yet for fear of jinxing my chances at acceptance!).
Found out tonight that after I spent hours, days, practically a whole month researching hotels in Cuba and finally settled on one...I found it I got bumped to another hotel (due to over-booking), one that wasn't even a contender in my decision-making process (yes, I am a huge, HUGE nerd). I was furious. Like, slamming-doors-listening--to-Ani-DiFranco- yelling-at-the-phone-when-I-found-out-my-travel-agency-was-closed-furious. I've calmed a bit since...I know we'll have fun no matter where we go, we'll make the best of it...I'm just so frustrated that I found a place I was so excited about and they were too stupid to know how many rooms they had versus how many reservations they were making. ARGH! Okay...still angry...but better than I was. Tomorrow we raise hell with our tour company...maybe they don't know that I can argue most people into the ground!
For now, I'm just chilling on the couch with Peter Mansbridge (again, the cat, not the news anchor...sadly), waiting for my nails to dry, and then it's off to bed, and in the morning off to Ottawa, the Parliament Buildings and the Rideau Canal (AKA the world's longest ice rink). I hope that everyone has a fantabulous week...if you need me, I'll be on the beach!
Posted by alegato at 11:25 PM | Comments (0)
February 21, 2005
The effects of yoga
I finally felt uncongested enough to practise yesterday morning. I was planning on going to Darby's 2/3, but the Model called me on Saturday night and wanted to go to the level 1 but didn't want to go alone, so that's where I went. Turns out Darby wasn't teaching yesterday, because of a workshop that was taking place, so C taught the class. It was so lovely. She mentioned at the beginning that there were a lot of first-timers in the class and thus we'd be taking things really slow...I was disppointed to hear that, but, as usual with Ashtanga classes, you can really make them into anything that you want by doing fuller expressions of poses and throwing in vinyasas between sides. We did some fun handstand work and we did some lovely restorative backbending and a long savasana. I love C. I think she's a really fantastic teacher who makes things both super challenging (her level 3 classes are brutal, but amazing)as well as fun and entirely unintimidating for people who are just starting out in Ashtanga.
I had to work at a special R&D night at work last evening (even though it was my day off...I was on the planning committee..so...yeah) to which we invited all the fitness/yoga professionals in the community to come in and get a double discount. All fitness/yoga instructors get a dicount at our company as they're our advertising ( we don't do print advertising, save for one ad in each issue of Yoga Journal) and they're the people who give us very useful feedback on the technical qualities of our clothing. It was a successful night, and it was a lot of fun mingling with Darby et al.
I'd promised the Model that I'd go with her to Tokyo (the club, not the city) last night, as she's hoping to get a job there and needed to talk to the manager. We got there around 11:30 and met up with a group of friends...and then we found out that there were free drinks until 12 and had the less-than-brilliant plan to get as manay drinks as we could before midnight (which only translates to like, three drinks, because you couldn't get more than one at a time), but here's the thing: I can't drink, I've never been able to, and since I've been practising Ashtanga and drinking less I've become even worse. So I was trying to keep up with everyone else..bad idea. I wasn't feeling well by twelve, but somehow I stuck it out for a couple more hours, until someone finally got me a cab and sent me home and today I'm so mad at myself for being so stupid, but I got what I deserved: I feel so sick today (I am so sick today)and consequently I'm going to have to waste my day off on my couch. Looking on the bright side: I was supposed to start a 5 day cleanse today and I wasn't looking forward to it, but now I'm more than ready to give my body a break.
Six days til Cuba!!!
Posted by alegato at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
February 16, 2005
Babbling
Well, I finally went back to work yesterday after six days of absolute hell...glad that's behind me now! Got back to work to discover that they'd accidentally paid someone else for 20 of my hours, meaning that I got a substantially reduced paycheque...they told me that I'd get the rest of the money on my next cheque...I told them that I needed it ASAP and that it wasn't my mistake: they were in he wrong and they better do something about it. Then we had a meeting last night where we discussed, among other things, how people who are sick for more than a couple days will need to bring in a doctor's note. For a company that's supposed to be so "forward thinking" and that so values the "integrity" of its employees, why are we being treated like we're in grade four? Furthermore, I can understand an employer's desire to see a doctor's note when employees are being paid for sick days, but we're not...if we miss work it's our loss. I'm going to mention something about this to one of my bosses today, because I do not appreciate being made to feel like a child, and an untrustworthy one at that. I'm getting really disillusioned with work, with people who feel that by selling a pair of pants for $100 that they're somehow serving the greater good...they're not...so much bullshit.
Suffice it to say that all I want right now is to be back in school working toward something bigger, better and hopefully more praise-worthy. I'm also really, really torn right now as to where I'm going to go to school...where I'm going to live my life, what my longterm plan is etc. I'm increasingly tempted to move back to Ontario to go to school...if only because it starts sooner and thus finishes sooner. I also have been questioning my reasons for wanting to stay in Montreal: comfort, security etc. But the thing is, after this year, none of my friends are going to be here anymore, so pretty much no matter what I do, wherever I go, it's going to be a blank canvas...so citing my friends as reason for staying doesn't work. I fear that if I leave and go to Ontario I'm sentencing myself to a lifetime of suburban southern Ontario...because things happen and as soon as I leave Montreal coming back would become less likely. And I'm tempted by being closer to home..I miss my family so much that it hurts, and I wish I could spend Sundays eating my mum's bueberry pancakes, and Tuesday nights watching my brother's hockey games..and sometimes I yearn to do mundane, stupid things, like, going to the mall, just to do them at home with my family...I wish I could call my mum up on a Saturday afternoon and go to a movie together...I wish for stupid things, but things that I miss. I'm babbling, self-indulgently, I realise that, but this is my current train of thought. And there are no answsers...I can't know anything concretely, I just have to blindly choose a path and follow it...eek. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages and I have no idea, no idea at all, what I'm going to do. Decisions need to be made, and soon...and...I have no idea.
As for my practice...so long as I have this lovely, chesty cough, and I'm still on antibiotics for my revived case of tonsilitis, I'm not going to engage in any intense physical activity. I'm sticking to pilates right now until any further movement doesn't result in the dislodging of massive amounts of phlegm! Yum!
One week and four days until Cuba!
Posted by alegato at 12:04 PM | Comments (1)
February 11, 2005
*cough* *sniffle* *sweat*
Oh yeah, it's been a pleasant few days...okay, that's a gigantic lie. It's been really, really shitty. I don't remember being this sick since...well..ever...maybe when I was a kid, but not that I can remember. I called in sick to work yesterday after a sleepless, feverish night. I thought that sweating it out would be better than taking drugs to bring my temperture back down to a normal level...so I spent eight-or-so hours tossing and turning. Waking up shivering and then covering myself up with my duvet and subsequently waking up absolutely drenched in sweat, hair damp, stomach muscles sore from my incessant coughing. Through the day yesterday my fever still wouldn't go away. I took some ibuprofen and that barely touched it...spent the whole day on the couch watching useless fluff and too energy-less to get up to eat...I took a eucalyptus bath thinking that it would make me feel better...but it didn't. Finally yesterday evening, my roommate heated up some soup for me (which I could only eat once I had rolled my pajama bottoms up to my knees and stripped down to a tank top, as I was otherwise too hot!!!) and that made me feel a lot better...undoubtedly my blood sugar had been lower than low...I ate some fruit...and a bagel (I was ravenous at that point!) and after dinner my fever was gone!
I seem to be on the mend, but I took another day off work today (thank goodness)...I didn't sleep very well again as I'm now really congested and I have this lovely, chesty cough. So today I might actually leave the house to do really thrilling things like, buy cat food and dishwasher detergent! Yippee! I plan on working tomorrow...but for now it's me, the cat, CBC Radio One and some green tea.
I just read an email from my friend who was working in Sri Lanka and has now returned to Mysore before going back home to the U.S. She wrote about how she went to see Amma, the hugging lady, the other day, because she really wanted a hug. Because when you're travelling you crave human contact like never before, you realise how much you need it. And when Amma hugged her she inexplicably started to cry, mostly because she was so relieved to be hugged with intention and kindness. It made me think about last year when I was in Mysore and I had a two-day bout with illness (really very tame for India), and all I could think about was how badly I wanted my mum to be there, to make me soup and hug me...it's some instinct that we all seem to have. I remember checking my email and getting some pictures of my family at Easter that my sister-in-law had sent me, at which point I burst into tears in the middle of the email place! And so yesterday when I was feeling so shitty I kept wishing that my family could be here to look after me, of course they're not, and I realise the selfishness of it all...but there's something about being sick that makes me remember and long for the days when my grandma would rub Vicks Vaporub on my back, or my dad would spend the whole night by my side with cold faceclothes trying to bring my fever down...but hey, I've got The Price is Right to keep me company!!!!
Posted by alegato at 10:17 AM | Comments (1)
February 9, 2005
But I don't get sick!
So everyone's been getting sick lately, and I've been gritting my teeth, drinking tons of fresh juice with weird and wonderful things in it and repeating my usual adage, "I don't get sick." So on Monday when I had no energy to do anything at all it didn't cross my mind that I was coming down with something. Yesterday I was exhausted again and almost skipped out on after-work yoga, at which point I decided my iron must be lower than usual. Today at work I started to feel exhausted and foggy and dizzy and just bleh...and I thought it was probably the heat (for some reason our heat won't turn off at work and it's like 27 degrees (80-ish Farenheit) in the store all day...good for yoga, not so good when you're running around and up and down stairs for eight hours. Anyhow, I mentioned to my boss that I wasn't feeling well, she said that I could go home but not until after the Managers' Meeting, because they needed me to watch the floor. That was at around 11am...by 1pm the meeting still hadn't started and I was probably the least cheerful salesperson ever. Finally I begged them and they let me go home..what kills me is that I have never, not once, called in sick, I come to work even when I'm not 100% and give 100%...and then they were reluctant to let me go home when there are some people who miss their shifts regularly.
Anyhow...once I got home it became clear that I really am sick, not just tired. Chills, fever, a wicked cough, headache, really achey body, dizziness etc. There's really no arguing with those symptoms. Looks like I have the flu. Now my mum will most definitely lecture me on not getting a flu shot this year (they're available in abundance up here in Canada). So for the past four hours I've been on my couch with everything I need (book, remote, lip balm and water bottle) right beside me. I slept for a couple hours...took some ibuprofen, but it hasn't gotten rid of my fever...I'm going back to my couch now.
Posted by alegato at 5:22 PM | Comments (0)
February 7, 2005
Do-Nothing Day
Yesterday and today are my days off. Yesterday I slept in a little (consequently missing practice...but the fact that I didn't go to bed until 4:30am had already rendered that unlikely), went for a two hour walk around the spring-like city, had a meeting thing at work in the evening and then had people over in the evening to watch Garden State (because I feel the need to make everyone I know watch that movie)...so it really wasn't too much of a day off, as I was going all day long. This morning I was shocked when I woke up at 10:30 to my phone ringing...I haven't slept in that late in a long time, and I'm beginning to feel like my body really needs it. Since I got up I've just been on the couch with the cat watching television fluff like A Wedding Story (first time I've indulged in TLC in weeks!) and The View...and actually enjoying it. Last week I was feeling really run down and tired, and so today, for the first time in longer than I can remember, I don't feel guilty about the fact that it's noon and I'm still in my nightgown and bathrobe and have no plans of doing anything at all until 5pm when I'm supposed to meet up with the Gay Husband downtown to pick out a new cell phone for him..and then I have class with J at 6.
Saturday night I went out to Spirite Lounge, a really cool resto in the village known for it's awesome veg food as well as its stringent rules...most notably is that you have to finish everything on your plate...if you don't you get charged $2, and if you order dessert and don't finish that you're permanently banned from the resto! I was there for the Yoga Instructor's 25th birthday and was a little apprehensive about going, because I knew no one other than the birthday girl. I convinced the Model to come with me and we ended up having an absolute blast. The people there were as quirky and hilarious as all my friends and we laughed for hours. After that, the Model and I went back to her place and chilled for a while...the Pot Head came over and we decided at 3:45am (I have no idea how I was still awake at that point) decided to go grab breakfast at the diner next door. It was for sure the first time ever that I went out to eat in the middle of the night entirely sober. I wasn't in bed until 4:30...whoops.
Other than that...I leave for Cuba in less than three weeks now!!! For now I'm going to go make some lunch, fold the mountain of laundry that's currently on my lounge chair in my room...and at some point I suppose I'll shower and get dressed, but I'm enjoying not rushing and not feeling guilty about that for a change!
Posted by alegato at 11:51 AM | Comments (0)
February 2, 2005
Reinspired
For the first time in...months really, it's been a good yoga week. Darby is back in Montreal, and as of yesterday has begun to teach again. Meg (AKA my yoga drill sergeant) was in town for a few days, and, in typical Meg fashion, called me early yesterday morning to disturb my slumber and force me to go to practice. In my typically unhappy morning state, my greeting when I answered the phone was, "I hate you." But she persisted and guilted me into going. I'm so glad I went. It's so nice to have a senior, certified teacher back in town. There's nothing quite like it. It's really the closest thing to being in Mysore. I did my practice, got some wonderful adjustments (especially in the virbhadrasanas and prasarita C). Some parts of my practice were entirely pathetic (I can't believe I used to have mari D!), but I'm inspired to start practising more regularly again...and I know that they will come. It really is remarkable how the first thing to go with me is my twists...and when they leave me, they really leave...it's as though I never had them, ever.
Tonight I practised led full primary at Ashtanga Montreal with E. It was a great, fast-paced class. I was a little fatigued from yesterday's practice, and I know that some aspects of my practice were a little on the sloppy side, especially my chaturangas.
Today at work I asked the Raw Foodist if she was thinking about going to NYC for the World Tour. She said that she really wasn't...but for some reason after I mentioned it she got really into the idea and decided that she's going. She was dancing around giddily for awhile after that...I'm thinking that I really want to go too...for the second week, to do Mysore practice with Sharath. It would be really awesome to practise with Sharath in New York. I'd love to be back in Mysore, but that just isn't viable right now...New York however is entirely possible. So that's definitely something to look forward to and work towards in my practice.
A couple weeks ago I was getting really discouraged and was convinced that I was just going to have to back off my practice for awhile, as I just wasn't inspired...but now that Darby's back and New York is looming a few months away and I've had a couple mediocre, but nonetheless wonderfully calming practices in a row..it's falling back into place, and I'm excited and reinvigorated and consumed by my practice all over again, and that is really, really lovely.
Posted by alegato at 9:37 PM | Comments (1)