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May 31, 2005
Ask and Ye Shall Receive
I asked for it...I was bored with the amount of school work I had, I didn't know what to do with all those afternoons with nothing to do...and as of today things are school are starting to creep back to normal (i.e. McGill undergrad) levels of stress and work.
I have a group presentation to do in the morning, but I guess our print profs thought it would be fun to give us an evening assignment tonight instead of the usual afternoon assignment.
-So I had to go downtown for a few hours and cover the parade for the London Knights (our junior hockey team who just won the Canadian championship)..and my deadline's midnight.
-Presentation tomorrow morning @ 9am...I have to put together the handouts, but my group hasn't emailed me their material yet...argh!
-Assignment due tomorrow at 5pm...I have to write four story idea pitches (just found out about that one today too).
-Paper proposal for my Media History class, due on Friday
-Research Methods paper due next Wednesday (we were just given the parameters for the assignment today)
-Major feature article (assigned today) due next Thursday
Wow...it's going to be a busy week, but this is what I wanted.
I'm just not sure where I'm going to find the time....
Anyway...have to start my parade article (parades are the bain of every reporter's existence...)
On my iPod: Summer Sunshine --The Corrs
Posted by alegato at 7:46 PM | Comments (0)
May 30, 2005
Oh What a World
Glad to report that I went out with a bunch of girls from school tonight and had a really fun time...martinis seems to help a situation like that! No, I had very little to drink, but it was nice to be sitting outside on a lovely night just chilling with some girls who I really feel comfortable with (kind of strange for me...I'm used to having, alsmot exclusively, guy friends)..we all got to talking about the transition to London and to new people, and to letting go of our old friends and old lives, and we agreed that it's been a diificult time for everyone...change....it's just one of those things that will always happen, but that it's human nature to resist and struggle with.
Anyhow, no practice this morning and not tomorrow either...I'm still sore from the other day, really sore....unreasonably sore. My hamstrings feel like they have two fifty pound lead weight attached to them...ever since the 108 sun sals when I pushed it a little too much my muscles have taken longer than usual to revcover. The good news is that I'm sad that I'm not going to practice and the thought of getting up at 6am is surprisingly palatable, as long as I get my asana in it doesn't matter what time the alarm wakes me!
On my iPod: Oh What a World -- Rufus Wainwright
Posted by alegato at 11:15 PM | Comments (0)
May 29, 2005
Loves it...
Read this article in my latest issue of Maisonneuve last night. Loved it. It's hanging on my frigde. It's full of truth...especially the part about the non-showering people at tam-tams!
And this line, "True, this city is cheap, drunk and prone to dirty sex..." explains so much as to why my view of the world has become so brutally skewed...everywhere is conservative relative to Montreal (well, except maybe like, NY and Amsterdam...).
Posted by alegato at 12:38 PM | Comments (0)
May 27, 2005
Feeling Kind Of Low
So, I went to the girls get-together tonight. It was fine. I miss my friends so much.
I don't know what it is exactly. It might be the newness of the situation, but something is causing me to feel like I need to hold back. And then another part of me is wondering if maybe I've just been spoiled for the past five years with my friends.
I'm the first to admit that I have a fairly strong personality. I like to take a leadership role. I love a good argument (not a confrontational argument, just an intellectual one). I'm cynical and sarcastic to the core (but not in a life-hating kind of way, more in a humourous way). And for some reason I'm just not comfortable enough with this group of people to fully be myself. That never happens.
I've been so lucky with my friends. I know I've said it before, but my friends in Montreal really became my family there. And every time we got together, every single time, a few times a week, I had a fantastic time. I laughed innumerable belly-laughs and had fiery debates and cooked more fabulous meals than I can remember. And now, here...it's fine, everyone's nice, but it's just...it's..mediocre. Blah. I smile and chuckle, but not like I mean it. Not like I did before. And it's not for lack of trying. I'm trying. I want this to work. So why is it I just came home from a night out, then sat here and cried?
Meg called me from Berlin tonight. It was so, so fantastic to hear her voice when I answered the phone. We chatted for about an hour. We hadn't talked in about a month and it was great to catch up. We realised mid-conversation that today marks the one year anniversary of our return from Asia (I wrote about it here), which is...unbelieveable. And it was so nice to share all the little things that have made us think of one another over the past weeks (we both seemed to have a million little things in our lives that reminded us of one another in the past days). She's been offered a real job in Berlin, which is incredible, and so she's going to be there until at least mid-September. I can only think of 2 or 3 other people who know me like Meg does.
I called the Gay Husband on my way home from the thing tonight...he might be coming home next weekend, in which case we'll get to hang out. And it sounds like he's going to be in Montreal for the Canada Day (July 1st) long weekend...so I'm going to try and visit if I can get away (such a different way from how I spent last year's Canada day, but that's a whole other story...as Meg said today, "What a difference a year makes.").
I miss my old life so much. I was so happy in it. So entirely happy, and I knew that, and that's what made my decision to leave so difficult. But..change is a part of life...so here I am...trying.
On my iPod: "Hold On" --Mary Beth Maziarz, "This Woman's Work" --Maxwell (because sometimes there's nothing like a good wallow)
Posted by alegato at 11:21 PM | Comments (2)
How do people do this?
So, despite all the sceptics' predictions to the contrary (okay, mostly just the Gay Husband, but he knows me pretty damn well), I managed to get out of bed a few minutes before 6 this morning. Got all my stuff together (so much stuff, it's ridiculous: gym bag with towel, shampoo etc., mat bag and school bag so that I could go straight to school after practice is necessary)and drove down to the gym. Got changed and was in the "yoga room" by 6:25-ish. I think I forgot to mention yesterday that the yoga room has a gigantic glass wall that lets the entire gym see in...oh well...not a big deal..if I can practise with Sharath watching me, I can practise with women lifting weights watching me too!
I started out really stiff through my hamstrings (no big shock seeing as (a) I'd just gotten out of bed (b) I haven't practised in a week (c) I did this "aerobic pilates" dvd the other day and I'm all stiff through my hamstrings and inner-thighs now as a result), but things got better as I moved through my sun sals. I was sweating a little bit by the time I started standing series, which was a nice surprise, because being a gym environment, I was worried that the room might be cold. Otherwise my practice progressed pretty normally...nothing to report really. Although, my mindframe is a lot less negative now that I know I have a place where I can practise regularly and all that I've lost will come with time and practice.
The only disturbance I had was when a personal trainer brought her client (victim??) into the room to do lunges and squats and various other gym-like activities that make the thought, "Thank God for yoga" play over and over again in my head. I was just there in the middle of the room doing my janu sirsanas and this poor woman was lunging around the room and doing sit-ups with one of those stability balls.
Moved through seated postures and the closing series...I think my breath was probably going at a pretty fair clip, because I finished in about an hour and twenty minutes...although that was excluding savasana.
For the first time in my practice-history I didn't do a savasana. I know, bad lady...crazy nervous system, blah, blah, blah, but that room is no place for a savasana, with it's bright lights, and people looking in and the fact that I could hear "We Are the Champions" playing in the room next to me...So I figured I'd go downstairs and do something really geeky that only a yogi would think was normal: take one of the private changerooms (which are quite large and spotlessly clean) and roll out my mat in there and take savasana for a few minutes...no such luck..there were a bunch of people milling around the locker rooms and I thought I'd look really odd if I went in a change room and didn't come out for awhile. So, I have to figure out a solution to that problem, but other than that I'm proud of myself for going.
Went to school, had a meeting with a group with whom I'm doing a presentation next week, came home, ate some lunch and promptly fell asleep on the couch (at 2:30 p.m.). I'm exhausted. How do people do this and then go on to a full 9-5 day at work, plus a household to look after..and kids...how? I admire each and every one of you. I hope that, in my case, it will be a case of conditioning my body to getting used to getting up so early and still having a full day after practice.
I'm going to this class get-together tonight. I really don't want to go, because I'm so tired, but I have to, because I promised to bring Sex and the City dvds as well as fresh spring rolls with peanut sauce.
There's a thunderstorm going on outside and I have visions of naps dancing though my head....
Off to make the spring rolls.
On my iPod: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing --Jack Johnson, Sad Nights --Blue Rodeo, There is No Such Thing As Love --The Dears
Posted by alegato at 4:02 PM | Comments (0)
May 26, 2005
G-Y-M!
I'm about to say five words that I never thought I'd say:
I just joined a gym.
But hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, and the fact that I had nowhere to practise was desperate so...I alleviated the desperation.
My plan for this evening had been to pick my car up from the dealership (yay, it's fixed and I don't have to rely on the really crappy public transportation in this city anymore!), come home, eat some dinner and then head out and check out a couple gyms. Well, the trafiic was really bad on the way home and I was stuck in a giant back-up, so I stopped at a women-only gym that I was passing, went in and signed up for a tour (which involved this ridiculous application process..."What are your fitness goals?" "Standing up from backbends" wasn't an option...only things like "losing inches", "getting flatter abs," "being able to successfully run on the treadmill with just a sports bra on" Okay...I exaggerate...). So anyhow, I went on the tour, it's a gorgeous facility: all that stuff that gyms have (scary weights, scarier weights, scary cardio equipment) and, AND a great aerobics studio...and....wait for it....a beautiful little "yoga room," which I was assured no one ever uses. Downstairs: beautiful locker room, hot tub, steam room (I LOOOOOVE steam rooms) and great "shower ensuites" (shower, sink and toilet all to yourself, all in a private room...I hate public showers...so...). My favourite part of the tour?: the part where the tour-giving lady said to everybody who worked at the gym, "This is Andrea, she's joining so that she can do yoga for two hours a day, six days a week." I quite honestly have never seen someone so excited by Ashtanga. So I signed on the dotted line (hell, I got a student rate that was cheaper than my yoga membership in Montreal).
Here's the one part that freaked me out: next week I have a MANDATORY meeting with a kineseologist to do a fitness assessment...the fitness assessment part doesn't freak me out, it's the weighing part that i hate. Truth be told, I haven't weighed myself in about 2 years, because, quite frankly, I know I'm a healthy weight, I can tell if I've lost/gained weight by how my clothes fit and, at 5'10" my weight is never a pretty little number like 120lbs. And then I get all down on myself about it...anyhow, I'm going to find out if they can weigh me and not tell me my weight...oh, I'm also not going for the thing where they take pictures of me from the front and back every three months so that I can see changes...no thank you!
The gym mentality is so different from the yoga mentality. I joined the gym because I need a space to practise, I just hope that they can respect my take on health..and I'll respect theirs, even though they're two very different ideals.
Also, does anyone else find it weird that my gym has a spa that offers Botox and a tanning salon? Or is this standard and I'm just entirely out of touch?
Anyway, here's to my new regular practice...as of tomorrow morning. All you practitioners with regular mysore practices...send me some good energy to help me get out of bed tomorrow morning at 6am!
OH! I FINALLY (I usually read at warp speed, but just haven't had time lately) finished Saturday last night...such a fantastic novel...Ian McEwan is definitely one of my favourite contemporary novelists. What a beautiful read...that man's grasp of langauge, imagery and detail is...unbelieveable.
On my iPod: Pour Some Sugar On Me --Def Leppard, Torn and Tattered --Joss Stone, Foresight--Granian, Running Back --Emm Gryner
Posted by alegato at 7:05 PM | Comments (4)
May 25, 2005
Frustrated
I was getting a lot of stuff done around the University Community Centre (UCC) today, so I figured I might as well swing by the gym and figure out the whole dance studio availibility situation. I was getting really pumped about the prospect of getting to school early to practise and then heading straight to class. I waited in line at the information desk for awhile and then couldn't wait any longer (I had to scurry and take my car into the dealership to fix the problem that keeps causing that pesky "check engine" light to flash incessantly) so I decided to email them when I got home. Got home, wrote a couple sentences about needing a dance studio for yoga (I always wonder how the whole yoga thing goes over with the hardcore gym people who frequent the Western gym..there must be a lot of eye-rolling...which makes me think of the guy at the Athlete's World at the mall the other night who told me the shoes I was buying were "yoga shoes" I opened my mouth to explain that you don't wear shoes in yoga, but figured the comment might be lost on him....)blah, blah, blah. I figured I'd get a reponse telling me that I could use the studios so long as there wasn't a scheduled class. Instead, here's what I got:
Andrea,
We rent our dance studio out. There is nothing on a drop in basis. You can contact Ann Charlton for prices on renting the studio
ARGH! ARGH times a million! What is wrong with this stupid town that I can't find a place to practise?!!? Not to mention the fact that I'm paying Western thousands of dollars in tuition and my gym membership still doesn't allow me to use the dance studios. Who would ever want to rent out dance studios at 7am? No one...it's not like I would be using the space when someone else wants it. ARGH again!
I was so excited to start practising there in the morning...I was going to go tomorrow. But noooooooo, the gym Gods are not smiling down on me. So I might actually have to JOIN a gym...even though I already BELONG to a gym (gym membership is part of our mandatory student fees). So..I have to look into that now, and try to figure out if/how it could fit into my budget.
Also, ever since I went dancing the other night I have this awful pain in my right hip flexor...it hurts to walk. Well...I'm not actually sure if it's from the dancing, or if it's from the fact that I slept on a couch and likely did so in some very uncomfortable positions...don't know...
In good news: I made such an awesome dinner with a lot of my organic produce tonight. I'm not a big fan of cooked carrots usually, but this recipe that came with my box of food was awesome!!! And fresh asparagus...and new potatoes with mint..and some salmon with a dijon glaze...mmmm. I heart fish.
Oh, and yesterday I went to the bulk food store and stocked up on all my indian spices as well as some incredible granola, some ground flax seed (which I enjoyed on top of the granola this morning) and some steel-cut oats...these sorts of things excite me immensely.
I think I'm going to make palak paneer for dinner tomorrow night. Yum.
Hmm..why don't I write more about food/recipes in here? I am, after all, consumed by cooking...must put foodie spin on blog.
Must go and finish watching The Sea Inside.
On my iPod: In the Waiting Line --Zero 7, Party Generation --Dar Williams, Penny Lane --The Beatles, Celebration Guns --The Stars, Santeria --Sublime (geez, why it it take me so long to write this entry???)
Posted by alegato at 8:21 PM | Comments (1)
May 23, 2005
May 2-4
I went home for the long weekend (Victoria Day weekend here in Canada, AKA the May 2-4 weekend...as in a "24" pack of beer...well, except in Quebec, where they're all like, "Beh non, we're not really Canadian, we have Journée nationale des Patriotes," but nonetheless, it's a nationally-celebrated long weekend) and deluded myself into believing that I'd practise while I was there. Brought my mat along. Only to realise that it was a holiday weekend, and therefore my studio at home was closed, and with a three bedroom house full of nine people (step-brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews visiting for a family reunion) there was no place to be had to practise. I did have a swell weekend though. Jam-packed. Full of extended family. Full of various modes of transportation (hmm...let's see: car, bus (coach and city), subway, streetcar...I think that's all). But swell nonetheless.
I got home late Friday afternoon (after getting an assignment back at school that I got an A on...yes, an A, that means it's publishable without errors, when most others got C's...yippee!)and just chilled out with my parents and my family who was visiting from Ottawa. Saturday, my mum and I went shopping in Oakville. Came home late afternoon, exhausted, napped. Went to my middle step-brother's surprise birthday party...decided then and there that I desperately wanted to go to Toronto to see the Model. My mum drove me to the GO station and I got on the bus about 30 seconds before it left. Somehow found my way to the Model's friend's house, and the 6 of us spent the night out dancing at My Apartment (which kept confusing my mum...she was like, "How can you go to your apartment? Your apartment's in London, not Toronto.") in the T dot. Anyhow, we had a really, really fun time, and I was so, so glad that I'd made the last-minute decision to go to T.O. The Model leaves on the 30th for 4 months in Japan...I'm going to miss her to death. In other news...the Model and the Debater are "taking a break" while they're both away. I'm so proud of the Model for saying what she was feeling. I hope that however it works out they're both happy...I love them both.
Crashed at the Model's friend's house around 3:30 and was up and out and on my way back to my parents' house by 8:30. Got back in time to walk right back out the door on the way to a family reunion here in London. My parents had a great time, but all us kids and grandkids felt way out of place and awkward...but hey...the cake was good!
Today my mum and I went to auction in the morning. Came home around noon, wrote an article on the auction, filed it. Ate dinner. Drove back to London. Here I am.
It struck me on the weekend that as much as I've always bad-mouthed Toronto, it really is a fantastic city and I can abslutely see myself there. A few weeks in London has done that for me (the other night, somebody asked me how long my program in London was and my repsonse was, "11 months and 3 weeks left."). I think London's a nice enough place, but it's not for me, I'm a city-girl at heart. The whole mentality here is different. It's much slower. Much more conservative (I've been called an alcoholic on more than one occasion for ordering a second drink). The social scene is way different.
I miss my Montreal life desperately. It was so much more me. But I'm beginning to understand that my year here is going to be a test in adaptability. I'm adapting....or at least trying to. It's not going to be the same here, as much as I may want it to be, and I'm beginning to get that. When I get out of here I envision myself in T.O., Ottawa or Montreal, wherever I can get a job...so for now I'm just dealing with it and understanding that it's not forever.
The greatest thing though (I had a conversation with my mum about this the other night) is that, starting at a new school as a grad student is so different from starting at a new school as an undergrad. I have nothing to prove and no one to impress. I know myself so much better than I did five years ago. I've made friends with the people with whom I'll remain friends for the rest of my life. I know how to be happy by myself. And of course I want to make a good impression and be kind, but I'm okay with myself and don't feel the need to really, I dunno, have plans every weekend, or whatever, I am who I am, I'm happy enough and I'm not going to go out of my way to impress anyone. And to me that's huge. It's refreshing. There's no pressure. I'm really looking forward to when the Aspiring Speech Pathologist moves to London in the fall. And in the meantime...hanging out with the class is fine (nothing like old friends, but...I've only been here three weeks...), the Gay Husband will be close when he moves back home at the end of July...the Dental Student is here and I'm close to my family. I love being close to my family. I love how much time I've been able to spend with my family over the past few weeks. The stability and support that the proximity to family provides is huge.
All that being said, I can't wait to leave London! But I'm making the best of it while I'm here.
Enough verbose rambling for one night. Yay...I have a four day week!
On my iPod: Close Your Eyes --Bebel Gilberto, Trust Me --Amanda Marshall, Good Riddance --Green Day
Posted by alegato at 8:42 PM | Comments (0)
May 18, 2005
Well that was....interesting
Hmm...not really sure how to react to that. That was an interesting led class. Thank goodness it was called 'power yoga' and not Ashtanga..I would have taken major issue with it had it been called Ashtanga.
Um, well...what's to say? I got to the studio and it was really nice and inviting and the people seemed very friendly and welcoming. Beautiful space with nice hardwood floors and pieces of gauzy fabric woven through the ceiling beams. Teacher seemed nice enough. He came over and introduced himself.
Then class started...slowly...so slowly. 4 A's 3 B's, but so slow. We did a scattering of standing postures and a small selection of seated postures, skipped navasana (I've never not done navasana in a yoga class before...even in non-Ashtanga classes, but whatever) did bakasana, bhujapidasana, supta padangusthasana, and...erm, I think that's it...then backbending and then finishing postures (just sarvangasana, halasana, karnapidasana, matsyasana and a few minutes of seated meditation). It was only after closing postures that we did a seated twist (basically mari C, but more passive...we'd only done mari A in seated postures and none of the other marichyasanas).
I took it as a passive twist at the end of the class...didn't do anything beyond a nice, seated twist. On my second side of the posture the teacher came over and explained to me how to twist and then proceeded to tell me what this thing called binding was and how I could try it if I felt capable.
I know I shouldn't have, but I took this very personally. I'm not usually one to take things personally, but that just really got me. I wanted to say, "I know what binding is! I know what marichyasana C is, and it certainly doesn't come after finishing series! Haven't you seen me this whole class? Haven't you noticed that I'm the only person here who even knew what a vinyasa was? Not to mention the fact that I'm the only one who knew the sequence of the series!" But of course, I didn't, I just nodded and said, "Okay." Talk about passive-aggressive!
And I know that I need to detach myself from my ego and practise non-attachment and all that, but sometimes it's just really freaking difficult. And I think I was upset too because I'd really been looking forward to this class. I'd put so much hope into it. I really wanted it to be a good class that I could go to all the time. I wanted to find my way into the small yoga community that exists here, and I knew at that point that it just wasn't for me. I got very little out of the class (and no, I didn't have a negative attitude the whole time, just those last few minutes), so it's back to self-practice for me. Time to find out about those dance studios at the gym.
I'm just so disappointed...
OH! One more thing that I've been meaning to write about, but keep forgetting. On the weekend, I was driving around trying to find this one health food store, and on my way there I passed this big delivery truck that said "Organic Food Delivery" on it and had a website. Coolest thing ever...I came home, found the website and signed myself up immediately for Get Around Organics. I'd always wanted to get organic produce delivery, but for some reason it just didn't seem to be available in Montreal (or maybe I just wasn't looking in the right places). Anyhow, for a very reasonable amount of money I'm getting a box of in-season fruits and veggies delivered to me every Thursday...tomorrow's delivery day #1! Yippee! I'm especially looking forward to it as someone who is a little bit obsessed with cooking. It's going to be so fantastic to get a surprise of ingredients every Thursday and to come up with new recipes based on what arrives on my doorstep. SO cool!
On my iPod: Fair --Remy Zero, Omaha --Counting Crows
Posted by alegato at 9:51 PM | Comments (2)
New Led Class
I'm ditching the BBQ this evening in favour of a led "Power Yoga" class at Lotus Centre, one of the few yoga studios in London (well, certainly one of the few to offer anything Ashtanga-ish). I've been (not surprisingly) sore from my practice the other day, but I think my arms and shoulders are feeling well enough today to give it a go. I'm really looking forward to taking class at a new studio, seeing what the "Power Yoga" scene here in London has to offer. One of the greatest things about being a yogi is that you pretty much know that you can always go to a studio, take a class and really feel welcome there. The yoga community is so lovely that way.
Other than that...only had a half-day today (Wednesdays and Fridays are half-days, the other days we have classes in the morning and assignments in the afternoon that we get to do from home...I like how independent the whole program is) then we had a meeting at lunch to start a student council. I've thrown my hat in the ring for a couple positions (VP Communications and VP Academic), but I'm not sure if I'm going to get anything, because there are more people interested than we thought there were going to be, and therefore nearly every position is being contested. I'm not entirely sure why I'm running. I'm not a rah-rah student council type, but I am a leader type, so...I thought it would be a good way to fill all my empty afternoons!
Plans to go cottaging over the upcoming long weekend fell through, but I think I'm going to be able to meet up with the Model in Toronto sometime over the weekend so that we can see each other before she goes to Japan. Unfortunately, we've been assigned a weekend assignment for school...which will take up a good chunk of my time. Ugh.
Tomorrow night is out with the class and maybe to a dentistry party that I've been invited to...not sure yet. Oh, and I guess I have to write some kind of campaign speech at some point. Urgh...I don't want to have to campaign. I'm still scarred from my loss in the grade 7 class president election!
I'll report back later after the led class!
On my iPod: Set Yourself on Fire --The Stars
Posted by alegato at 2:22 PM | Comments (0)
May 16, 2005
Nice to meet you, I do yoga
Hmm...just got invited to a BBQ on Wednesday night hosted by the communications department. Not sure how to explain to my meat-and-potatoes classmates that although a free BBQ sounds like a swell idea (grad students welcome any and all things "free") I "don't eat no meat" (as per My Big Fat Greek Wedding). Not only do I not eat meat, I also do this strange thing where I contort my body into various pretzel-like shapes....how to explain this?
I don't like to tell it all at once, not to this crew...that would make me too much of a, er, hippy (to use what I'm guessing would be their vernacular). And then, the next time we're all out having drinks someone would start with the nagging..."Andrea, put your foot behind your head....Andrea, do a headstand.." Oh no, no siree, not going down that path yet.
The good news?: There are some reasons that make going to school fantastic.
On my iPod: Paper Cup --Heather Nova
Posted by alegato at 6:52 PM | Comments (0)
Question of the Day
Why is it that when I practise by myself I have incredibly good balance, but when I practise with anyone else I fall over about eight times during the balancing postures? Why? WHY?
Okay...gotta run over to Starbucks so that I can concentrate on my assignment...5pm deadline.
On my iPod: I Believe in a Thing Called Love --The Darkness
Posted by alegato at 1:18 PM | Comments (1)
May 15, 2005
Addendum
I just had one of the best practices I've had in recent memory. I wasn't sure what to expect seeing as I haven't practised really since I moved, I've never practised in this space and, quite frankly, I'm often fairly undisciplined when it comes to home-practices. So I wasn't sure how far I was going to go, if I was just going to do sun saultations and the standing series, or if maybe I'd be super inspired and make it to navasana. Lo and behold...I must have really needed some good me-time, alone on my mat, because by the time I got to the marichyasanas (which is usually the point when I start to lose steam) all I could think about was how much I'd missed my practice and that I didn't want to stop. I spent a good amount of time in the marichyasanas. I really focused on opening my shoulders and breathing with the twist, rather than against it. I ended up doing the whole first series, and I loved every second of it. It was so peaceful. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't have that voice in my head that judged every single posture and that critisized for having regressed. And I feel like, because of that, I flowed into everything really nicely and was very happy with both my state of mind and the actual asanas themselves. Great backbending, nice finishing series, especially lovely sirsasana and a very peaceful, lazy, empty-headed savasana. In my yoga-induced haze I just forgot how to spell like, half the words in this gigantically long paragraph, and had to spell-check a lot of them!
Anyhow, I just finished my lunch (breakfast?) and I'm off to the shower now...not sure how I'm going to spend my afternoon, but I'm sure whatever I do for the rest of the day will be wonderful, regardless of what it is, because I'm in such an awesome head-space right now!
On my iPod: Drut Gat Teental--Ravishankar Mishra & Prakash Sonttakke
Posted by alegato at 1:00 PM | Comments (0)
Busy days...again
Hmm...that's strange, my "On this day in the year..." function isn't working. It used to work. Odd. Anyway, on that note, on this day in the year 2004:
Saturday, May 15, 2004
I miss India. I miss India so much that I find myself looking up airfares to Bangalore from Canada and fantasizing about going back as soon as is remotely, slightly possible. The further I get away from it, the more I realise how fantastic my time in Mysore was. There's nothing wrong with being back in Bangkok (going to Cambodia tomorrow), but it's not quite the same. Relative to India, Thailand seems so clean, almost sterile, it seems like the West. It's so strange how perspective can change so quickly. When I first got to Bangkok in January I thought it was so bustling, crazy and even a tiny bit dirty, but now, now it is a haven of cleanliness and westerization. It is sparkling and peaceful. I miss India's stench, grime and character. When can I go back there? Take me back there. I miss the routine of my day centering around practice. And try as I might, there are no fenugreek rotis or badam milk to be found in Thailand. For a place that I was so hesitant to visit, India shocked and surprised me and left me wanting more. And I still don't know what it is about that place. It's bustling, noisy, colourful, ever-spinning and chaotic, a cacophony of sounds, people, languages, cultures.
Time to go grab some lunch here in Bangkok (well, in my case breakfast), maybe get a massage today, hang out a bit at the hostel, write in my journal and try to sort out all my thoughts about India, this trip and the future. One things remains certain though: I will return.
I still feel the same way. I want to go back to Mysore. I want to take a couple months off from all the realities that I'm faced with here and just wander around India and Thailand and places I haven't been yet: Japan, Vietnam, China...For obvious reasons, I'm not going anywhere for the next year, but after that...after that I think the travel bug is going to become unignorable (no, that's not a word!). I'm in the midst of trying to organise my schedule so that I can spend the long weekend (next weekend) with the Model and the Debater at the Debater's place in Muskoka, as it will likely be the last time I will see either of them before they go to Japan (the Model) and Taiwan (the Debater) for unspecified amounts of time. So hopefully that will work out.
School was good this week. This highlight of the week was our class get-together on Thursday night (which is apparently a J-school tradition). I started out with a few other people at one classmate's house for a couple glasses of wine and then we made our way over to the pub. There was an incredible turnout...probably about 35 out of the 49 people in my class were there, and I had a fabulous night of mingling, chatting and laughing over a couple pints of McAuslan cream ale (as soon as I ordered that the bartender took one look at me and said, "You're from Montreal, aren't you? No one from London knows what good beer is!"...it is a Montreal beer after all). I got to have some really good conversations with people I hadn't really gotten to speak with before...lots of laughter...it was a great night.
My mum and stepdad came to see me Friday afternoon and the Dental Student swung by my house too, so we all ended up going out for dinner. Yesterday my dad, stepmum and brother came to see London and my apartment (well, and me!). We had a really nice day walking around the market, walking up and down the streets (okay, really just 'street' singular) of downtown and had a lovely dinner out and then some tea back at my place.
After a number of days of jam-packed activity I'm enjoying doing nothing inparticular today (although I do have to get at an article that I have due for luluzine in the near future...might spend some time at Starbucks thinking and typing). I'm gearing up to hit the mat in a few minutes and see where that takes me...
On my iPod:Taj Mahal, Every Part of Me, The Canadian Dream --all Sam Roberts
Posted by alegato at 10:46 AM | Comments (0)
May 11, 2005
School Days
Eek...I've only been back in school for three days and I'm exhausted. I always find the first week back at school really tiring...getting used to the routine of having 6 hours of class/writing assignments a day, keeping busy still getting to know everyone in my class, thinking a lot etc. It doesn't help that it's that special time known as ladies' holiday, which generally knocks me over with tired. And I keep forgetting to take my bee pollen, which was making me feel great when I was remembering to take it.
Nothing too new to report..school's starting out slowly, but apparently is going to get insane by next week. The class is going out tomorrow night at a pub called Alex P. Keaton (yes, it is named after Michael J. Fox's character on Family Ties!), so that should be cool..it's hard to really get to know people when you're always travelling around in a group and are always in lecture halls, so it'll be nice to kick back with a couple drinks. Friday I'm meeting with a few other people who want to form the student council...I'm not sure what position I want to fill, but I do want to take a leadership role...I generally have a hard time not taking a leadership role!
My dad, stepmum and brother are coming up on Saturday to spend the day here and see my new place.
As for practice...I got my student card today so that means that I now have access to the gym. I'm going to swing by the gym and find out about getting access to the dance studios so that maybe I can practise there.
Right now I'm so tired though that the thought of moving is making me yawn...
Posted by alegato at 8:43 PM | Comments (0)
May 8, 2005
The Power of Yoga
Friday was my first day of school. Well, no classes yet, but all that orientation stuff...I was so afraid that they were going to do cheesy things, like make us all get tangled up in a human knot and "use teamwork to untangle it!" Thank God they didn't...I hate all that BS. Instead they kind of just talked at us for about 5 hours. "This is a really good program..." blah blah blah "This is how you use the computers..." blah blah blah.."This is the dean of the program..." yada yada yada. My program has about 50 people in it, and I got to chat with a number of them. We toured the television studio, the radio studio and the newsroom. I came home feeling pretty uninspired and unenthusiastic about the whole thing. Okay, straight up: I was really down about it. I was really bummed out. But, I'm sure a lot of that was first-day jitters. I had a bit of the jitters too, and I really felt like I wasn't entirely myself the other day. I felt like I stayed in my shell a little bit more than I usually do...and I felt lke for some reason I'd allowed my self-esteem to be undermined by a somewhat intimidating situation (i.e. the first day of school at a new university in a new town).
Anyhow, I came home and was really upset. Down really low. I knew that I couldn't just sit around and wallow, so I decided to take in a class at the local Moksha studio. I walked in all flustered, feeling so...blah...I mentioned to the teacher that I'd taken a few Moksha classes before at the Montreal studio, and she made me feel very welcome by welcoming me to the class and telling everyone in the class about the awesome teachers at the Montreal studio. It was exactly what I needed. It wasn't Ashtanga, but nonetheless, it forced me to breathe and focus and abandon all other thought. I floated out of class. I felt so much better.
All of the sudden I was filled with all kinds of positive thoughts instead of all the negativity that had filled me before class. I got to thinking that even if I don't end up being really social with my classmates (which, admittedly, is quite unlikely...I need to be less critical of people) I'll still have my other friends here: The Dental Students, and my friend the Aspiring Speech Pathologist who emailed me the other day to let me know that she too will be coming to Western in the fall. She was my first friend at McGill. We met each other in line on orientation day and discovered that we were both from that same city and that I'd gone to high school with her brother. And school isn't the only thing in my life, there are other things and people that I love and that will consume my free time: my family, the cottage, Montreal friends (many of whom are moving back to the area in the not too distant future)and of course there's yoga and the community that comes with it...and all the little things I do that make me happ: walking downtown and in the park, cooking, going to the market, settling down with a good book, playing tennis etc. ...so....yeah.
I spent the weekend at home, with my dad, stepmum and brother yesterday and my mum and stepdad today. It was nice to have some time with my family, and it took my mind off the fact that I start school for real tomorrow. Basically I have a full day on Mondays (9:30-4:30) of print journalism, nothing else. But having been at home and in a more normal environment for the past couple days I'm feeling much more myself, and much more confident and prepared for what awaits me.
Happy Mother's Day to both my mums and to all the mothers everywhere who give all of themselves to their families...thank you.
Posted by alegato at 8:57 PM | Comments (0)
May 5, 2005
Friends
Every night the Gay Husband and I talk on the phone, and every night (since I've moved) he asks me, "So, any tears today?" And up until now the answer has always been no (well, except for actual moving day), and then tonight it all just hit me: I miss my friends so much. Meg called me two days ago from Berlin, it was great to hear her voice and to have such familiar conversation. The Model called me last night and we chatted about everything that's gone on with both of us since the move. I talked to the Former Roommate twice (Tuesday and yesterday), and I emailed with one of the Neighbours (former Neighbours, I guess). It was so nice to talk to everyone. It just sucks so much to go from having such a solid social network to nothing. These people, they were my family for the past five years, they were so much of life to me. I have no friends here. Well, I have two, the Dental Students, but they're consumed by insane exams until the end of the month. This is an adjustment.
Across the evening sky, all the birds are leaving
But how can they know it's time for them to go?
Before the winter fire, I will still be dreaming
I have no thought of time
For who knows where the time goes?
Who knows where the time goes?
Sad, deserted shore, your fickle friends are leaving
Ah, but then you know it's time for them to go
But I will still be here, I have no thought of leaving
I do not count the time
For who knows where the time goes?
Who knows where the time goes?
And I am not alone while my love is near me
I know it will be so until it's time to go
So come the storms of winter and then the birds in spring again
I have no fear of time
For who knows how my love grows?
And who knows where the time goes?
--10000 Maniacs
On my iPod, "Let Go" --Frou Frou, "Big Time Sensuality" --Bjork
P.S. Obviously I too am ripping off Vanessa's idea...too good to pass up.
Posted by alegato at 9:16 PM | Comments (0)
May 4, 2005
Meat
So, my mother's always right. Allow me to elaborate on that: she came to my house yesterday to help me hang some pictures/mirrors and to just help me get a little more organized, she took one look at me and told me I was too pale, too tired and that I needed to eat some meat. I was feeling so shitty yesterday that I didn't argue, I just let her take me out for dinner where I ate a small sirloin steak, the first meat (and red meat no less!) that I've eaten in...I can't remember how long. And sure enough, after dragging my tired, anemic ass to bed last night at 10pm, I woke up this morning feeling energized and with actual rosiness in my cheeks.
So here's what I'm trying to figure out...until the past year I'd always said that I "dabbled" in meat. (oh shit...someone just accidentally set the alarm off on the first floor of this building and now there's a deafening siren going off...ugh) Ever since I was a kid I've never been a big meat eater, but once I moved out and was able to cook for myself every day I found that I'd cook meat maybe once a week and the rest of the time I'd eat vegetarian or fish. The amount of meat that I ate got increasingly less and less over the past few years, especially once I established an Ashtanga practice, it went from once a week, to once every two weeks, to once a month, to only when I was at home and my parents made it, and once in a while at a restaurant. Well, in the past year, my meat consumption has gone down to zero (well, I had organic free range turkey at Christmas) (UGH! Alarm turned off after like three minutes and just turned on again).
Here's what I've noticed: my anemia has (for obvious reasons) become much more pronounced...when we were hiking up a mountain in India it got to the point that I could feel that my muscles weren't getting enough oxygen, and I was gasping for air, as there just wasn't enough oxygen to go around. I try to take my iron supplements, but they're (a) difficult for the body to synthesize and (b) I'm not very good about remembering to take them. So I get weak, and tired and pale, and then over this past winter I got sick a number of times...usually I have an immune system of steel, I just don't get sick. I had the horrible, horrible flu, tonsilitis, a sinus infection. Then, a couple weeks ago when I had my going away party, we went dancing, and after four hours in a club that was poorly ventilated I ended up with a case of acute irritative bronchitis from second hand smoke (so glad I'm in Ontario now, which is entirely smoke-free)...but since then, probably on account of moving and just being so tired, it's turned into some kind of sinus infection again....
I guess I'm wondering if all these issues can be correlated to the fact that I've cut meat out entirely...it's not a protein issue, I eat anough legumes and tofu and other soy products, but it's the iron that always gets me...my iron gets too low, I get really tired, as a result my immune system gets worn down, and voilà I get sick. Then again, it could be purely coincidental. And yes, there are other sources of iron, but none so high in iron or so easily converted by the body.
The problem is, I much prefer not eating meat. I don't find meat remotely appetizing, I don't like the idea of eating animals, I hate the additives in meat, not to mention the horrors of factory farming. But maybe I can manage to eat organic meat like, once every two weeks. I dunno. Or I could just spend the rest of my life eating a lot of spinach and a lot of kidney beans, accompanied by a lot of vitamin C (to aid absorption). Stupid anemia.
Posted by alegato at 9:26 AM | Comments (0)
May 2, 2005
Reporting live from my new apartment...
Here I am in London. The past few days have been exhausting and emotional, but I'm finally here, my furniture and boxes are in my apartment, and the good news is I love my apartment. I saw it for the first time yesterday, and was thrilled to see that my parents had done such a good job picking it.
So Friday night 9 of us went out for Indian. We had a lot of fun, and I decided to go out Friday night even though I was moving in the morning. So about 15 of us party-hopped, and I finished up the night around 3:30am with my last Lafleur poutine. It was so fun to spend that night with everyone...my Gay Husband had a bit of a tearful goodbye.
Woke up around 8 on Saturday morning, got my act together, as the movers were supposed to come between 9:30 and 11...they finally got there at 12:15, and it took them over three hours to empty out the apartment/disassemble all my furniture...the Roommate was so gracious. He stayed wqith my mum and I at the apartment all day, made us a pot of homemade tomato basil soup. We finally left to head home around 3:45, said goodbye to the roommate and then ran out of the apartment, because I couldn't trust myself to hold it together any longer. I cried until we were out of the city...then my mum cried..then I cried some more. We got home to my parents' house around 10:00 that night...my mum came downstairs at around 1 and found me playing solitaire. Despite having been up until 4am the night before, moving and then travelling 6 hours I couldn't sleep...I hated that I was going to wake up and expect to be in Montreal only to find that I wasn't, and that I won't wake up in that room again. Anyway, my mum and I chatted for awhile until I pulled myself together, and then I slept.
Yesterday we came to London...I saw my apartment, the poor movers moved everything in...up the three flights up steps, and then we started to set things up, get groceries etc. I still have a lot of boxes to unpack...and I suspect I'm procrastinating about that right now! I'm feeling a lot better now that I'm here, I'm settling in and I have a home...a true Cancer! I spent the first half of the day today running errands, buying pretty things like a new doormat and necessary things like a wireless router.
It's weird having a car and driving everywhere...not like I have much of a choice here, everything's so spread out. It's also been nice to be able to drive around an explore...London is a small-sih (about 350,000) city, but it's really beautiful: full of parks, nice shops and gorgeous old homes...one of which contains my apartment.
Oh, also, I was worried because my mum had toldme my apartment was carpeted, and I didn't know what that was going to mean for my practice, but luckily my foyer is tiled and I'll be able to practice there once my whole house isn't cluttered with boxes.
Okay...back to unpacking...
Posted by alegato at 2:37 PM | Comments (0)