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October 17, 2005
Be safe
"Tom, get your plane right on time.
I know your part'll go fine.
Half of the time we're gone but we don't know where,
And we don't know where.
Tom, get your plane right on time.
I know you've been eager to fly now.
Hey let your honesty shine, shine, shine "
--Simon and Garfunkel
G, have the safest of safe times, and the most enlightening of days while you're in India. I miss you already, and you only just stepped on the plane.
Nothing but the very, very best.
Posted by alegato at 8:45 PM | Comments (0)
October 12, 2005
Mediocre
I feel like the season change is really getting to me. I've been lethargic and wistful and way more stressed than I usually am. Of course, that might all have to do with the lack of yoga lately. Time for honesty: there has been zero yoga. I need some yoga, but I feel so uninspired. But I know that when I do practise I will feel better: calmer and less crazy. But lately I've been soley focused on the gym. That's so weird. I usually hate the gym. Lately I've been totally zenning out (to coin a term) on the ellipitical...it's so weird. So un-me. So London. But yoga will surely float back into my life. (Did anyone else notice that I said "but" four times in that paragraph? Talk about making excuses...).
I've been letting school get to me these past couple weeks. I'm generally not a very stressed out person. Yes, I thrive under pressure. Yes, I love a good deadline. Yes, I tend to be a little neurotic and a lot high strung (at times), but I'm actually quite calm in my head. I always know that I'll get my school work done. I always know that I'm too much of a perfectionist not to do a good job, but this past week and a half...ugh....radio. My story is falling apart. My story never really came together. I need to have things figured out by noon tomorrow, and I'm afraid that I won't and then I'll get a bad mark....like that's the end of the world or something.
Meg and I always seemed to get like this at this time of year when we were at McGill too. This was the time of year at McGill when I'd have four 20 page papers and a midterm all within a five day time frame. I managed that. Hell, I managed profs breathing fire and ranting about how, "No student in this class will get above 80%!" I should be able to manage a stupid three-minute radio piece. Anyhow, Meg and I always joked that at this time of year we got down on ourselves and were convinced that we were both going to "lead lives of mediocrity." I guess that's what I'm afraid of: mediocrity.
The Gay Husband heads to Mumbai for three months on Monday. He's teaching on a volunteer basis. On Saturday we're getting together so I can impart him with any and all of my wisdom about travelling to India (basically my advice was "Bring a mosquito net and some Immodium."). And we're having this stupid/hilarious/thrilling "Memory Day." i.e. we're going to drive around the area that we're both from and revisit our childhood homes...because we're cheesy and weird like that..and we have nothing better to do.
The Model's finally moved into her place in Toronto, so she'll be joining us for a night on the town on Saturday.
Thanksgiving weekend #2: brunch with my stepdad's family on Sunday.
Next weekend: Montreal for Applefest #3
What did I do last weekend?:
-Ate too much at two Thanksgiving dinners
-Compulsively read A Million Little Pieces until I finished it...at which point I promptly bought the follow-up, My Friend Leonard, and finished that in 24 hours. I tend to obsess.
-Cried with my mum and my stepdad at Auntie Jan's dad's funeral...wished that the Dental Student was there to help her mum...
What's on my mind?:
(1) How much I don't want to finish school and hop right into a "career." All I can think about right now is travel. More travel. And more travel after that. Of course, to travel one needs some funds....but....ugh...reality.
(2) That after two fitful, sleepless, stressful nights with visions of mediocrity dancing through my head, I hope I'll be able to sleep tonight...
...and to that end..off to shower and bed.
On my iPod: "Twin Cinema" --The New Pornographers, "Crown of Love" --The Arcade Fire, "I Love You Anyways" --Travis
Posted by alegato at 3:29 PM | Comments (0)
October 2, 2005
Push On
I don't know if it's because I'm so damn overtired or what, but I feel so down today.
The past week was insanely busy. I was at school for like 14 days in a row, and often in excess of nine or 10 hours a day. On Wednesday I was there for 14 hours. I was pretty tired by the end of the week (also the end of tv), but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to have a party at my house on Friday night.
Well, it was a good idea, I had a ridiculous amount of fun. Too much fun actually. But then I didn't slow down. It was homecoming weekend at Western, and apparently we have the biggest homecoming in Canada. It kind of takes over the city. So I went and sat on a patio all day yesterday, and then went to the concert last night. It was all so good.
The problem came this morning when I had to get up to go work at the London Free Press. I worked there until 6 p.m. and came home only to realise that I had a whole presentation to prepare for tomorrow. So, I'm still trying to get around to that, because my phone kept ringing and I kept procrastinating.
So I don't even know how to write what I'm feeling right now. Ever since Meg and I chatted yesterday I've been reminiscing and feeling sad. I made the mistake of reading some of my blog entries from last year at this time and all the good stuff came flooding back...and then The Stills, although incredible, were like salt in the not-yet-healed wound that is Montreal.
Maybe it's just the time of year and the days getting shorter. But fuck. I miss the stupidest things, like, my grocery store and the Atwater Fromagerie and how steamy the shala was after Sunday morning led primary. Weird.
But, I definitely had more than my share of fun this weekend, and now it's time for school to kick my ass for not doing any work this weekend.
Thanksgiving is next weekend. I am thankful for Thanksgiving. I am thankful for the break that Thanksgiving will give me. I want nothing more right now that to go home to my mum's and hide under my covers...just for a couple days. The last couple weeks definitely wore me out. The break over the weekend will definitely be welcome.
Push on Andrea, push on.
On my iPod: "Moorlough Shore" --Emm Gryner, "When the Stars Go Blue" --Ryan Adams, "Far, Far Away" --Wilco, "Don't Look Back in Anger" --Oasis
Posted by alegato at 9:05 PM | Comments (0)
Still in Love
So, I'm definitely a little bit in love with The Stills (not to mention the fact that they have the Montreal metro map on their website!). Okay, a lot in love with them. I've been a fan of their music for awhile, but seeing them live tonight at Call the Office definitely sealed the deal.
For some reason they also made me miss Montreal so intensely. I don't know how. They just seemed to embody some sort of awesome Montreal vibe. I miss chill nights at Pistol with great music. And not-so-chill nights at Tokyo with not-so-chill music. I miss my life there desperately, but I'm having a lot of fun here nonetheless.
Meg called me this morning and begged me to find a way to make it to Montreal some time between October 12th and 23rd (when she'll be there) so that we can have Applefest 3. It's all I can think about. I'm definitely going to make it there, no matter what.
She and I waxed nostalgic about the "good ol' days" and how everyone's been going through some withdrawal lately. We talked about the trauma and the excitement of uprooting and moving on...and the sadness of leaving so much behind.
It became my home. And it's a little bit sad to think I might never move back there. More importantly, they became my family, and that's not changing.
"Friends getting old, we all dig for gold
The crumbs and pieces, the dead mess in the sink
Turning me on, Turning me on
The night's so happy, the bass drum heavy
The photo glossy, the people pretty
Turning me on... "
--"Of Montreal", The Stills
"Ca y'est c'est reparti je me divise en deux
je suis toute a la fois l'actrice et le decor
je ne sais ou vais ou je vais le saurais-je
je ne vais nulle part mais a toute vitesse"
--"Retour a Vega", The Stills
Posted by alegato at 2:06 AM | Comments (0)