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November 30, 2005
Not as jaded as I thought
*sigh*
Such a great night.
Saturday will be even better (I hope).
On my iPod: "Lay Lady Lay" --Bob Dylan
Posted by alegato at 10:34 PM | Comments (1)
November 29, 2005
Learning to leap
I've been thinking a lot lately about how my path over the past couple years has led me to where I am now. More specifically, I'm living in a city I never, ever, ever thought I'd live in, going to a university that I never thought I'd attend, to get a degree that I didn't think I wanted, to go into television, which never previously crossed my mind...and I love it.
If someone would have told me two years ago that I would be here today I would have laughed and scoffed and dismissed it entirely from the realm of possibility, but here I am. And I'm only here because I stopped and looked and listened.
I was on this collision course with law school. At some point, I don't know when, for some reason that I can't identify, I decided that I was going to be a lawyer. Why? Because I'm good at stuff like that. I'm smart. I thrive in stressful situations. And no one loves an argument more than me.
But, while I was travelling in Asia it just dawned on me that while law was something I would probably be good at, it wasn't something that I wanted. What an important distinction.
I remember the moment when it all came to me quite vividly. We were in Bali. I was in an internet cafe looking up info on the law schools I was planning on applying to when I returned home, and I freaked out a little. I didn't want to go back to school for that long. Every time I thought about getting my applications together and somehow making it through law school I felt like i'd been punched in the stomach. So on that same day, in the same internet cafe, I started checking out journalism schools. And I actually got excited and enthusiastic. Journalism had always been my ambition when I was in high school. I've always had a thing for writing. It's always been my passion. I'm the kid who loved writing 20 page poli sci essays in undergrad.
So, that's how I ended up at J-school. I ended up in London, Ont., because I liked that it was a one year program and an M.A. Many other M.A. programs were two years. And other one year programs weren't M.A.s, they were "graduate diplomas" or B.A.s...why would I want another B.A., when the first one got me virtually no where (career-wise)?!?
And I came here intent on doing print work. I wanted to do magazine work. I complained about having to learn radio and tv as well. They kept telling us, "You might think that you know what you want to specialize in, but often people change their minds." I rolled my eyes. I was print girl, that was that. So think of my surprise when I fell in love with tv in September. It was high stress, fast-paced and all about teamwork. In retrospect, it makes sense that tv and I were a good match.
So here I am. Doing well. I just found out yesterday that I won a competition I entered with the Department of Foreign Affairs, and I get to spend a week in Ottawa in February learning about parliamentary journalism. And there are other opportunities in the works. And I got an internship at the CBC. That one still blows me away. Oh, and for the first time ever I've started getting involved with someone without piling on expectations and I feel like that's a really, really good thing. Who knows where it will go, but I feel proud of myself for just letting it happen.
My luck has been so out of control in the past week that I actually bought a lottery ticket! Turns out the luck didn't extend that far though...
I guess that's the reason I'm writing this, and the point that I'm trying to make. One of the hugest things I learned when I was travelling, and what all these unpredictable decisions have taught me is that you just have to trust. Of course, I'm not advocating sitting around and waiting for something to fall in your lap..hell no...you have to be proactive...I do believe that if you have the slightest tinge of something within you that tells you to do something or go somewhere, you just have to follow. It may seem harebrained or impossible at the time, but it's probably right. Instinct is something we ignore far too much...or are just too busy, or too set on our paths to hear, or to care to listen.
Take time to hear yourself. Leap if you want to leap. The universe will catch you.
Flakey rant over.
On my iPod: "Radio Cure" --Wilco, "The Vanishing" --The Stars, "Frontin'" --Jamie Cullum, "I just don't think I'll ever get over you" --Colin Hay
Posted by alegato at 6:18 PM | Comments (0)
November 26, 2005
Mostly good, with a tiny side of bad
This week has been incredibly hectic and a little bit great at the same time.
School is winding down for the semester and work is getting crazy out of control...but things should calm down after Monday. Although, not really, because I have another paper and presentation due the following Monday...but, hey, it's the homestretch. Or, in my mother's profound words, "Andrea, the more you do, the more you get done." Always a pragmatist that one...
I practised earlier this week. I can't remember which day. Maybe Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday. I'm not sure. I practised up to navasana and quite enjoyed myself. I've had a few days off and I should be back at it tomorrow morning. Heaven knows I'll need it before the full day of work that I have ahead of me. And by full day, I mean FULL DAY.
Got some nice news today that I'm banned from repeating until later next week, but it definitely gave me the stamina to push on...
I started spending time with someone new this week. It was great to talk to someone who can actually talk. Someone who has opinions, and ambitions..and knows a LOT about wine! I think I can honestly say that it was the first time I ever talked about euthanasia, cabernet sauvignon and my political views on a first date! Definitely refreshing.
Meg and I had a great chat the other night. It was great to catch up. Time to start planning our next reunion...
To bed so that I can hit the mat in the morning...already dreaming about it. Incense, candles, bare feet and breathing.
On my iPod: "Breathless" --Emm Gryner, "Not Anymore" --The Perishers, "Superconnected" --Broken Social Scene
Posted by alegato at 11:12 PM | Comments (2)
November 18, 2005
Internship Heaven
So, a month long internship is a big component of my program. We had to hand in a sheet listing our top three choices for internships. I had two print choices and one tv choice. Then at the last minute, like, literally, the last minute, after I'd already handed my choices in, I went to the coordinator's office and changed my first choice to CBC Newsworld on a total whim.
Yesterday I had an interview with the CBC. Today I got offered an internship at Marketplace. I am SO beyond excited. People who don't actually know me probably don't know the extent of my CBC obsession, but, let's just say my cat is named after their news anchor. When I say obsession I'm not being hyperbolic.
This week has been way more stressful than I expected it to be. I managed to fit in one lame practice. But the other thing that the CBC internship means is that I'm going to be in Toronto for the month of January. Toronto! Civilization! Mysore classes!
To celebrate the end of my week from hell I got a massage tonight. It was the first massage that I've gotten in a long time, and it was wonderful. So great. My back feels so much better now. An hour of nothing but neck and shoulder massage...Andrea's idea of heaven.
On my iPod: "You Went Away" --Tegan and Sara
Posted by alegato at 11:41 PM | Comments (0)
November 13, 2005
Not Going to Happen
So, I got a definitive answer to the potential India trip this weekend: No.
I can't say that I was really at all surprised. But what did surprise me was my reaction to hearing it. I was devastated. I tried to act all cool and nonchalant about it. I just said, "No problem, I understand," but then I had to go into the other room to gather my composure. My mum knew something was up when I barely talked all evening, and she asked me if it was about India. I denied it. I didn't want her to think that I was pouting, because I wasn't. I'm not mad at my parents for saying no. I totally understand their decision. It was entirely rational. I realised though, that I was deadset on going though because I felt like it was somewhere where I would truly be all out happy for a couple weeks over the break.
I don't like living in London. There. I said it. In fact, I hate London. I'm lucky to know such great people here, otherwise I would have gone crazy by now. And I don't feel very at home when I'm at home (i.e. my parents' place), so the thought of spending so much time there over the break is a little intolerable. Definitely feel like I'm drifting a little and I can't wait to live somewhere I actually want to live come the spring.
Of course, I didn't say any of that to my parents because, again, I didn't want them to think I was whining, and, frankly, I have a pretty lovely life by most standards and don't feel like I have any right at all to complain. But, I was pretty down the other night. Really down. Devastated. I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to climb out of that hole for awhile.
But Saturday morning, I forced myself to crawl out of bed and go take Cheryl's led class at Yoga Burlington. I knew it would be good for me. And it was. Of course. It's meant to be a led primary, but there were a bunch of newbies in the class, so it was pretty modified, but definitely fun and exactly what I needed. (OH MY GOD I MISS HAVING AN ASHTANGA STUDIO NEARBY SO BADLY!). We did primary up to navasana (leaving out some things, like janu Band C, and mari B and D) and then we did some back opening: dhanurasana and ustrasana. I knew I was pushing myself past my edge in dhanurasana (especially given my total lack of asana lately), but I didn't back off, and sure enough, I'm in pain today. Like, enough pain that I'm definitely getting some deep tissue body work done this week. It hurts to touch my back between my shoulder blades...I don't know what the hell I was doing, but I was doing something incredibly wrong. Live and learn. Respect the edge. Keep the ego in check.
Anyhow, Cheryl was teaching with vinyasa between poses, but not between sides, but of course welcomed those of us who wanted to to do vinyasa between sides. Usually if I haven't practiced for awhile I'm lazy and I just stick to vinyasa between poses, but yesterday I was full of energy and full of need and I wanted it all, I wanted everything yoga had to give me, so I gave it everything I had, and it was wonderful. Cheryl gave us an extra long savasana, and by the time I walked out to the parking lot that familiar 'yoga stone' was upon me and I felt blissful. Everything from the night before was gone and I was myself again, thankfully.
So I did some thinking about the winter break and proposed to my parents the idea of purchasing a 20 class pass to the studio so that I can practise every day over the break and they were ecstatic about it. They definitely can see the difference in me with and without yoga. So can I.
It's incredible the power this practice has. I need to remember that.
On my iPod: "So I Fall Again" --Phantom Planet, "Bubble Toes" --Jack Johnson, "The World's Not Falling Apart" --Dar Williams, "Monday Monday Monday" --Tegan and Sara
Posted by alegato at 11:38 PM | Comments (0)
November 12, 2005
Water
If you haven't seen Deepa Mehta's new film Water, I urge you to go see it immediately.
It's been embroiled in a lot of controversy in regard to its stance on the treatment of some widows in India. Its message is anything but unclear.
Nonetheless, it is at once deeply moving, profoundly beautiful and achingly poignant.
Posted by alegato at 11:24 PM | Comments (0)
November 11, 2005
Lest We Forget
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
--Lieut. John McCrae, Canadian Army
Posted by alegato at 11:11 AM | Comments (0)
November 9, 2005
Cookbooks
It's very rare that I buy a cookbook for myself. I've amassed a good number of cookbooks, probably upwards of 20 (not to mention the multiple years of back issues of Gourmet and Bon Appetit), but I've received most of them as gifts, for Christmas and my birthday. I spend the year compiling lists of cookbooks that I want, and then I add them to my gift wishlists. It's kind of strange, since I buy, on average, one new book a week (not that anyone would know, seeing as that John Irving book has been "on my nightstand" for months, ugh, I really don't like it, but I refuse to quit...I've read about five other novels since I started it!) but not cookbooks. Most of the cookbooks I want are about $50 and I just don't throw money like that around for cookbooks. Clothes? Whole other story, but not cookbooks.
Anyhow, I was at Chapters this afternoon looking at South India books, reading up on Mumbai, where I may or may not be in about a month's time, as I passed through the cookbook section I couldn't resist poking around for a couple minutes. And this is what I found: A Year in a Vegetarian Kitchen.
I was flipping through the India books and then I picked up the cookbook and realised I loved every single recipe in it, and that most of them seem fairly timem-friendly. There's such a diverse offering. Everything from Italian to Thai to Indian inspired dishes.
So, needless to say, A Year in a Vegetarian Kitchen is now residing in my cookbook shelf in my kitchen. I can't wait to use it, for its pages to become splattered with food and much use.
On my iPod: "I was just thinking" --Teitur
Posted by alegato at 5:35 PM | Comments (2)
November 8, 2005
Never lend out your mat: a cautionary tale
Oh the irony..well, actually, it's not irony. It's just kind of stupididty and lack of foresight. I don't have school on Tuesdays until 1:30, so after a colossal sleep-in this morning I got up and really wanted to practise. That's big, because I haven't been dying to practise in awhile. So I should take advantage of these moments when they pop up. But alas, I lent my yoga mat to a friend who's part of a morning tv show, and he needed my mat to do a segment on stress relief or something. This is why I shouldn't have thrown out my old mat...even if it did have holes in it, even though it left little pieces of blue foam within a two block radius of my practice. Silly.
Fine, I guess that means I have to do work instead. Ugh. I'm going to make some tea.
On my iPod: "Sing Me Spanish Techno" --The New Pornographers
Posted by alegato at 10:09 AM | Comments (0)
November 7, 2005
India on my mind
I want to go here:
I talked to the Gay Husband on Sunday for about half an hour (God bless the invention of the long distance phone card!). He's loving India, absolutely loving it. He's really settled in well and hasn't been feeling homesick at all. He teaches five afternoons a week, does prep two mornings a week and teaches two deaf children English through signing and pictures two mornings a week. I am so impressed and humbled by his commitment.
Of course, he made me miss India so much. He painted such an incredible picture of his experiences thus far...and...I happen to have about a month off in December. I'm toying with the idea of going to visit for a couple weeks. Sure, it's a little sudden and a little bit crazy, but it's consuming me, it's all I can think about. Right, I have no money, but I've told my parents that I want absolutely nothing for Christmas if I go to India...so, that could help.
It would be incredible to go back to India, but it would be even more incredible to hang out there with the Gay Husband while he's doing so much good. Not to mention the fun we'd have. When I told him it was a possibility he got SO excited. I really want to make this happen. When will this opportunity arise again?
It's honestly ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT.
On my iPod: "They" --Jem
Posted by alegato at 10:57 PM | Comments (0)
November 1, 2005
She's back...
I swear, someone could be a marathon runner and a weightlifter and a gymnast and ashtanga would still kick his/her ass. I finally came back to practice today after what was probably the longest break from practice since I started ashtanga nearly three years ago. And I can already tell I'm going to be sore tomorrow.
I've been spending a lot of time at the gym, doing things that I never imagined myself enjoying: the elliptical, weights, sit-ups etc., but today I got home from school and the idea of the gym just wasn't doing it for me. So I hopped on the mat. It's pretty chilly in my practice space...I had to wear long pants, a long sleeved shirt and socks to start, but I managed to warm up eventually (although I didn't break much of a sweat...rare for me). I did half primary (to navasana) ..vinyasa between poses, but not between sides.
I was actually surprised by how un-stiff my hamstrings were. My hips though...whole other story...but actually, generally things went quite well considering it's been I-don't-know-how-long since my last practice. It was really nice. It felt normal. The gym doesn't feel normal, not to me.
One funny thing I observed was that at the gym it's all about distraction. I read a book and listen to my iPod the whole time I'm there...anything to take my mind off the gym. But yoga, it's all about the absence of distraction. It's about removing any and all distractions, even those created by your mind. Funny how, for me at least, they're so diametrically opposed.
The new craving for yoga came this past weekend when I was in Toronto visiting the Model at her new place (where I've been every weekend for the past three weeks...) and I realised that Yoga Sanctuary was literally two block from her house. I decided I really, really wanted to go to the 11:45 class on Saturday morning. But after a Friday night full of hot pink wigs, fake eyelashes, alcohol, dancing and a 4 a.m. veggie dog, it was really out of the question. But I couldn't get it out of my head. I kept thinking about a room full of people chanting, fogged windows and collective "shanti, shanti, shantis."
That's one of the huge reasons that I'm at this point where all I can think about is finishing up school in order to move back to a big city. Somewhere where I can walk around, discover new neighourhoods, revel in independent cafes, grocers with all the produce on display on the sidewalk and, of course, wonderful yoga studios with daily Ashtanga classes and mysore practice. Nothing like some not-so-urban living to make you appreciate all that was once at your fingertips.
The Gay Husband is loving his time teaching in Mumbai. I'm so happy, because I was worried he might hate it. Actually, he did hate it for the first week or so, but he's grown to love it. He called me on Sunday morning and went on and on about Indian food...something that he'd never really gone for in the past. I wish so much that I could go visit him, but, it's out of the question right now...
The Model is going to Rio for a couple weeks later this month for a job, which is incredible. I love her place in Toronto. The Danforth is such a colourful neighbourhood. I've been there a lot lately, which has been really, really nice and a lot, a LOT of fun...perhaps a little too much fun.
I was back in Montreal two weekends ago for Applefest 3, which was the hugest of successes. It was incredible to see everyone again. There ended up being somewhere between 25 and 30 people at Applefest, but a few of us managed to spend the night eschewing everyone else in favour of catching up. It's crazy how far we've all come in the past five and a half years. The Former Roommate is doing his MBA, Meg's been in Berlin, the Model's going to Rio, and others are spread out across the globe/or will be leaving soon to: Thailand, Taiwan, India, Mexico and Uganda. And of course, the Med Student and the Law Student are now the Doctor and the Lawyer. Pretty crazy shit. I guess that means I have to grow up and be "The Journalist" in the not too distance future.
Fuck . Reality.
On my iPod: "Sleeping In" --The Postal Service, "Hallelujah" --kd Lang, "Shadows of Salford" --Doves, "King of No One" --The Most Serene Republic
Posted by alegato at 5:44 PM | Comments (1)