disturbing trend
i was ready. sooooo ready to practice tuesday. it took alot to:
1. go to a yoga class here in c-bus and 2nd series at that!
2. and have it be a late class (7:30pm)
so, it was to my surprise that the teacher had to bail for not feeling well into the 3rd "b" and that suddenly i had to take over for a 2nd series class (!!!) hmm yeah... it was fun but definitely not my best teaching skillz on display. haha
and then yesterday a student "cracked" and decided to share her "manifesto" of what she feels she needs from a yoga teacher in the middle of class. nevermind, the fact that i had 9 other students vying for my help. what i can decipher is that she took offense to me when i say "and so and so is doing the full posture" and it became a real issue when my dear friend larugala was doing the transition from titibasana to bakasana to chaturanga.
i should preface and say that i have a very young class and there are plenty of people who need modifications. some people are working towards the transition and other have not seen the transition. the root of the misunderstanding is that when i say that, it's a reference point to where you are working towards. this is part of the practice and this is what you ultimately work towards in this practice. she felt that larugala was "showing off" and i was pointing it out that "ooo she is doing it ' right' ". she also felt that she has no desire and does not want to do "those poses"
ashtanga is not for everyone. i readily and freely admit that. some people are better off doing so other practice. and maybe that's what she needs. when someone says emphatically "i do not want to do that pose" that person must ask themselves "then why are you here?" the series never changes - you will always encounter that transition. i'm not going to cut out that transistion because a student has no desire of doing it. and really i don't care if you come into class sick as a dog unable to do jack and laying in savasana. if you are a dedicated student - when you come in at your weakest and your worse. you give yourself to the energy of others as in "i'm here to support you". in turn the energy in the room will be there to support you in your healing for that day.
what she fails to realize it isn't "all about her" and "all about her practice". to extent it is - but to a greater extent when you practice in a group, your individual practice and your individual mediatation gives support to the group as a whole and the energy the group makes helps out everyone individually. if she is not willing to join in on that then maybe it's not for her.
so, now to the disturbing trend. this "outburst" wasn't just something random. it has deeper roots. her daughter is anorexic. we are not talking 'lindsay lohan' or 'nicole richie' anorexic (and i'm not making light of them either. they are and do need help) but, her daughter is seriously 'i weigh 50 lbs and my belly is protruding because my body is eating my organs' and alot of us at this studio thinks that she's going to die. so, when the mother has an outburst like that in class... it directly ties in with what is happening to her daughter. so, i'm not sure what i'm going to do. maybe really rock the mothers boat to have her look into herself and confront the real issue. i am well prepared to be hated by the mother and possibly the daughter. but if that means the daughter may get better. that's a sacrifice i'm willing to take.
in addition to that, me and the lion are thinking of going to see his mother for her birthday. he had talked to his mother last night to see what was going on and she had filled him in on things that are going on with his sister (my future SIL). his sister was diagnosed with anorexia in high school and she got professional help. But, we don't think she's really "over" it. she definitely hides behind the "i'm a vegetarian" label so she can hide her true relationship with food. she had ran her first marthon last year and was VISIBLY upset with her time. at that time i was playing around with training for a tri and maybe completing my first tri this year (ha! derailed AGAIN!) well, she has taken on competing in tri's. i think she's completed 2 this summer. well, his mother said she is VERY THIN and works out like crazy. so, we have 2 issues here anorexia and excessive working out.
i've never had to deal with this. i mean yeah my mom has said some really bad things to me growing up that could have possibly change the perception of my body image. but for some reason i was able to let it go. is it because i don't have "control" issues? or i'm just not that "type a"? i'm not sure - but, you would think your mom telling you that you've gained weight or you ass is fat would have a profound effect on you. but for some reason i let it slide like teflon. then why is it that we have people like FSIL and daughter of yoga student?
not sure what to do and quite disturbed...