Gypsy Sister

So today I taught my last Mysore class. The new teachers arrive tomorrow and take over the class on Monday. It was a very emotional class for me and the students. Random outbursts of "It's not fair!' and many tears were shed. I didn't think I was gonna make it thru without breaking down and sobbing! But I had to put on a brave face and help them through. All the old faces were there to say goodbye which was really nice! The best part of the whole morning was when my most dedicated student who has been working on dropbacks stood up by herself for the first time - what an awesome gift! We both screamed and the whole class broke into laughter and then tears (again). This time I joined them. I am so proud of all of them! I feel like a parent sending their children off to college or something, knowing it will be good for them but still not wanting to let them go! It is going to be very hard for me on Monday to go to class and be a student with them. I will have to keep myself in line. I know there will be a huge temptation for me to help them in their practice - drishti, drishti, drishti! That and finding a spot in a corner where my main view will be the windows! Wish me luck...

I ran into the owner after class and he asked me how I was feeling and I was honest with him. I told him I was angry at him for his decision and that I felt like I was being pushed aside. He was shocked and his only response was, 'But you're still teaching ashtanga led classes!' I said, 'That's not a consellation prize! I earned those classes!' to which he agreed. As apologetic as he was it does not change things so I will have to be gracious to the new teachers and hand over the riens with the faith that they will take as much care with these students as I have. I'm sure they will. It's just hard on my heart...

I have been offered another job by the company I have wanted to work for from the beginning so after all was said and done today I emailed the manager my possible start dates. He responded quickly asking me to give him some time to figure things out. You see, I would be breaking my contract here and that would put him in an awkward position so I guess he has to weigh his options...we will see...

Ok so I'm trying to remain calm here...the new teachers have arrived and I had thought that we would meet and discuss things before they took the Mysore program but it seems that is not going to happen. Now I appreciate that they only arrived 2 days ago but it's really important to me and I thought it would be important to them to have an idea of the students and their practices before they came in. I guess they work differently. Ok...but then I spoke to, well let's call him Bob just to be safe...We chit chatted a bit and he asked me where I was from. He was like "Oh, I have friends who own a studio there." I was at a loss for words. These friends of his are hard line ashtangis who won't let you thru the sequence if you can't jump thru!! I had gone to practice at their place as they wanted me to teach for them but because I wasn't jumping thru they didn't feel I had what it took to be a teacher - I've been doing this 6 years and I can teach jump thrus....anyway, that's not the point! The point is that they recently hired a guy with 6 months PRACTICE experience and NO teaching experience just because HE has a "bells and whistles" practice!! And the new teachers are friends with them! Which may mean they are hard line ashtangis too!! Crap...I know I'm probably over reacting here and even if they are I can always chose not to practice with them and go practice with my buddy at the other studio, so I have options. It's just a question of respect, and I feel like I'm not being shown any. I think my ego has just had a severe beating and it's fighting back. I'll let you know how it goes...

So I went to class this am..late! It was not at all intentional! I have the flu and took some cold medicine last night to help me sleep and woke up half and hour late! I arrived bleary eyed to see that they had made the space their own - they had the students facing a different direction, had the mirrors covered with cloth ( nice touch), and a large photo of Guruji in the centre. It was a whole new room! I apologised for being late and introduced myself. They were both welcoming and shook my hand and off I went. I did Primary out of respect to them so they could see my practice and where it was at. They both have very nice, strong adjustments. He, "Bob", didn't drop me on my head in backbends which is always a good start!! The last last couple to arrive did! So hey, he can't be all bad. I guess I'm still just feeling sensitive, like why are they getting a reception lunch when none of the other teachers (yes, like me) got that? Why are they being given celebrity status and the rest of us treated like plebs? There is a lesson to be learned here... Anyone?

It ends up that "Bob" was one of my friends teachers back in England. This ashtanga world is soooo small! I took them out for breakfast after practice and talked a little but "Bob" was very jetlagged so he was quiet. "Jane" was very chatty. She seems to be lovely. I'm sure once my wounded pride is healed I will be writing glowing reports about them! But for now I'm off to lick my wounds....Forgive me.

So it's been a while since my last post. Things are settling with the new teachers. They are great! I'm enjoying my practice although I am dying with bronchitis, I've sprained my foot slipping in the rain here - I swear to God. Why is it in cities where it rains 90% of the time do they pave the sidewalks with marble? Are they trying to kill people? But yeah, I'm working on the jump out of pincha mayurasana...so hard!! My body is doing the right thing my hands just aren't moving and then karandavasana.....I don't know if I will ever be strong enough for that one! Gotta loose about 20lbs to make it a bit more accessible. Backbends are getting deeper. I almost vomited in kapot the the other day...nice! The crazy things we do to ourselves! And I'm finally taking my heels in drop backs with straight arms. I think that ones more a fear thing as well as the jump out of pincha - as "Bob" says, " Hey, it's only your face! It can take it!" Lovely....
In 3 weeks I get to go to Maui to hang out with my teacher Nancy Gilgoff. I am sooooo excited! I haven't seen her since December so it will be great to catch up. She always helps me to get grounded. Things at work, well, I had a meeting with the owner the other day and he kept poking and prying so I was brutally honest with him, told him I wasn't happy and when he asked me if I was considering working for the competition I said yes. He wasn't too happy but I'm glad I was honest and didn't sugar coat things. I stood in my truth. Maybe he will start to realise that things need to change. Maybe he won't but at least I have said my piece and am not just complaining behind his back. Anyway, Maui will be awesome. Time to reflect and practice and not teach...I love teaching! And I love my students - they are inspiring! And being able to teach full time is a dream come true. But I haven't stopped in 10 months so it's time to kick back and relax! I'll be there for a month! I'm counting down the days...
Anyway, I'm off to teach. Enjoy your practice.