Self Practice

Well, I was grasping at my ankles on monday and apparently (as far as I can tell) this is the cause of my shoulder flaring up again with some pain/instability. This started sometime after yesterday's practice (which as far as I remember was pretty normal, if not a little sluggish). I choose the words grasping in a nonphysical sense or I should say metaphysical sense. That is, my attempts to reach my ankles were an overstepping of my limits.

I've dealt on and off for the past couple years with the concept of self-violence in personal discipline and willpower. Its been good for me to think about remaining natural and nonviolent not only of course to others but also myself. This might at any point in my development mean to pull back, rest, and recuperate, rather than pushing forward with some sort of military-like, brutal will power. This kind of pushing has no place, for me personally, in my Yoga practice. It draws my energy away from where I am trying to place it.

So, today I did not do my regular practice. Instead I went for a run (haven't been running in so long!) and came back and did some core work and some leg stretching. It felt luxurious to do this kind of thing, but at the same time realized how weird it is to do asanas without vinyasa. I don't see how people do it regularly!

Once my shoulder is feeling better I plan to modify my backbending sequence to build, strengthen, and open my shoulders to be ready to eventually work towards grabbing ankles in drop back and work on Viparita Chakrasana, which seem to me how I want to focus my effort in backbending. My first step is to start working on handstands after doing Urdvha Dhanurasana. I feel like my back is plenty open but what I am lacking is the stability to support myself through the shoulder girdle inverted in deep backbends. I think this kind of strength will be able to be cultivated through working on handstands. Plus I figure it will help prepare me for pincha mayurasana coming up (which as I have posted before I am a bit anxious about starting since it is a pose that is VERY difficult for me).

Pranayama practice is going well. I can see how it is going to be a great thing for me to practice regularly. I still do not see clearly what exactly is going on in my body or mind. I am growing to love the feeling of the exhale retentions, the absolute stillness, as well as the expansiveness of inhale retentions. I am settled on working on the first two pranayamas (exhale retentions (15 seconds) and inhale retentions (20 seconds)), which eventually integrate into each other to be practiced together once the separate retentions have been "mastered" (whatever that means). So far the retentions and the pranayama practice itself have been relatively relaxed (as I have reported) besides a bit of muscular fatigue in my abdominal muscles.

Peace,
Andy