Self Practice

Well then! I haven't done an entry in quite some time. This one will be short but with the promise of a couple retroactive posts to come tomorrow. I have been wall to wall with work and settling into classes. It been a whirlwind of a few weeks.

The leg behind the head odyssey has completely changed in feeling and effort. Its been epic, the last few practices everyday after practice a different part of my body was sore, first the hamstring, then the hips, then the lower back, then finally the neck. And then one day things just felt strangely a LOT more open. The right side is now staying without holding, but cradling head with hands to protect strain on the neck and the left side is coming along nicely, about half the time its as open as the right and the other times it needs a few more breaths to get there. I'm spending 20 breaths total in eka pada sirsasana every practice (10 each side after supta k and 10 each side doing eka pada at the end of my practice). That has really helped me a lot. Oddly I haven't been doing much extracurricular passive stretching and it hasn't seemed to hinder me at all. I did some stuff today and could noticeably tell a difference between passive flexibility compared to last time I had tried some. I do feel like it helps keep things open.

Pretty soon I hope to start forward folding in eka pada sirsasana and then someday try to figure out dwi pada!

Bakasana B went VERY well last week. I nailed it every single practice, first try, which was a great feeling.

We'll see how this week goes. I'm learning its best to not focus so hard on improvement or goals and just let things come as they will. I notice the change and fluctuation but try not to obsess over getting "better." Classes are good for that, I am so busy my practice has been just one of the important things of the day. After that I have to shower quickly and munch down some food then head out to classes (early classes at 11!). As we say (inside joke): I'm almost like a real person now.

Pranayama has settled into a great pace. Its great to wake up with the 1, 2, 3 punch of zazen, pranayama, and asana. That puts zing into my day but sometimes a little fuzzy headed for a couple hours!

Peace and Love!
Andy

What is it to maintain a practice with this Yoga? It sends powerful ripple effects throughout my body and mind. Of course the practice is strong and is meant to effect this type of change, but also I think a lot of this comes from being a person who thrives best under a routine and pattern. Indeed, I often find myself trying to regulate my life (not always succeeding!) to an even cadence. With that, I've learned a responsibility to myself and my well-being to allow change and in fact embrace change.

Going back to school has been a big change in my life, in a great way. I really am suited to be a student. I love the books, the afternoons studying, morning preparation, the essays and papers to write, and the planning for future academic involvement. It also gives me a perfect environment to cultivate my Ashtanga practice. Its also, incidentally, one of the main reasons I haven't been filling in this blog as routinely as I have been. I hope to fall into a pattern and be able to start back to regular entries though (I've posted this new entry and also one retroactive entry from a week or so ago that I didn't have time to post before).

What's new? Well, I've been steadily practicing away at first and my chunk of second (stopping after eka pada sirsasana). I've started binding feet in supta vajrasana and leaning back in a bend (although I haven't been able to go back all the way without having my legs anchored down). But I feel like I can anatomically learn to do it without support or help from another person. I have started consistently nailing bakasana B on the second attempt (three days in a row now). I feel like the muscle memory and coordination is developing so I'll be able to start getting it first attempt. This will be a great improvement in the flow of that chunk of the series since messing up there breaks the concentration quite a bit (add that to the fact that I'm "nearly done" and its hard to kick the dharana back in at that point).

I've started to really enjoy the twists after bakasana. When I first started doing them I didn't have a clue about how to go about practicing them. They didn't seem as "twisty" as mari C/D or pasasana and I was very confused jumping in and out of them in vinyasa (still am to a certain extent - which leg tucked? which leg on top? twist to what side?). They really do work unique grouping of muscles though, stretching and strengthening. They feel great also!

And that leads to eka pada sirsasana. I really like this asana and on those really flexy days I see how its going to be such a pleasure to practice (with the leg staying without having to hold). But, usually on all normal flexibility days its quite a struggle and I'm sure not a very aesthetically pleasing sight to witness (thank god for self-practice! ha!). I try to just evenly breathe and calmly work at my edge at that moment in time, but it doesn't always happen and I find myself struggling sometimes. I think the primary reason for this is that putting my leg behind my head is the first asana in the Ashtanga system that has really challenged my flexibility in such a way that there is "no way, no how" to pass on before spending quite some time working on opening it. So, I'm stopping at eka pada (spending ten breaths each leg) until I can do it comfortably, unassisted with hands, and without strain on the neck. It might be beneficial I think in the near future (even without achieving effortless leg behind head) to start practicing the forward bend component of eka pada. I've never tried it, but it would seem to help open the hips in a way that might be symbiotic to the upright version.

But, being stopped at an asana is OK. Its probably even a good thing for me to stay at one point for a little while and work on not only hip opening but also stamina/strength building. My practice is just going to keep getting longer and longer so it will pay in the end to take time slowly building it, making sure not to "overextend" myself. The more weeks that roll by are not wasted of course. I know I still need this solid and steady effort in first series work (which I will need before I decide to "split" and do only second series, sometime around pincha mayurasana).

So, the process of daily practice continues. I am so happy to be able to practice and live in this way. Its a great thing to be a part of.

These posts were from between August 28-September 12. I haven't had a chance to log them in until now...

Chikitsa!

Ah...I love primary only days. Much more so now that I'm doing only two thirds of it on a regular basis. The rollback/up asanas are really fun to play around with and move deeper in while searching for that perfect point of balance.

It really does seem like the series is purifying, a very effective form of therapy. After practicing this morning my body and mind both were vibrating.

Speaking of vibrating, I've been experiencing a semi-strange feeling, right above and deeper inside my body than my perineum - a sort of fast vibrating that comes on anywhere 3-4 hours after practicing. It lasts about 5-10 seconds, is unobtrusive and somewhat pleasant. It feels like a very tenuous hold on a very deep mula bandha.

Speaking of bandhas, I really have to say that the biggest benefit of doing pranayama so far has been tightening my hold on mula and uddiyana bandha (specifically uddiyana). Also on a more gross physical level I am seeing a lot of muscular development in my abdominals and obliques. I guess those retentions and deep focus on the bandhas is doing something down there! We'll see...
Love,
Andy

Whose ankles are those!?

I grabbed heels on the descent in kapo and then lifted back up and moved hands around ankles. It was sort of a weird feeling, it was not a strain, it felt natural to do it (I moved them there without even thinking about it). Then stayed 8 breaths and pressed up into kapo B (part of the way with hands on soles of feet which feels GOOD). I really think I am on to something here working on opening my chest muscles. Its going to help open my shoulders a lot, I think. Man, I need it, though. Those shoulders have posed one issue after another to me. All part of the process...

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! (Got Heels!)

There is no feeling quite like dropping back into kapotasana and having your vertebrae pop one after the other, sequentially, up your spine into the thoracic. Stimulating to say the least.

I haven't done my regular practice for 5 days now so I was surprised in kapotasana that I went deeper than ever before (eventually worked into holding somewhere between heels and ankles). I think ankle grab on the descent is coming.

There is the possibility of joining a community Ashtanga group here in Boone. Our one Ashtanga teacher here in Boone was talking to me about it last spring and mentioned he wanted to start a group. That would be a great step in my practice, to be allowed the opportunity to practice with others and experience that energy I discovered the few times I've practiced in a mysore style setting.

Pranayama Lite

Pranayama was a bit of a struggle today. I'm discovering how subtle the body is; any sort of major or abrupt shift in mental/emotional balance drastically affects the physical body. Moving back into my apartment and starting classes is a very big change in my lifestyle. Mainly, I was struggling with exhale retentions (I've been comfortably holding the breath outside for 20 seconds). I backed down to 15 second retentions. The inhale retentions were not a struggle so I kept them at 30 seconds.

I was also experimenting around with drinking coffee before pranayama (here's too much information for you, but it helps fully jumpstart the bowels (empty bowels are key for strong pranayama!)). On a similar note, have been experimenting moving around uddiyana/central nauli kriya from before, after, or both. These kriyas feel really good and effectively wake up the bandhas. I'm pretty sure I'll just go ahead and do it before and after. I tell you what, pranayama, nauli, and all those liftup and jumpbacks are really working my core. Its great.

I'm still trying to isolate left and right nauli. I just can't seem to figure it out, although the other day while trying to isolate one (I forget which) I think I began to almost achieve it. That alludes to another benefit of these two kriyas - greater abdominal awareness.

So, anyways, my exhale retentions have backed down and I will keep them backed down until I can comfortably bring them back up. I think I am going to wait to move onto the third pranayama until I can comfortably do 25 sec inhale retention and 15 sec exhale retention.

Peace,
Andy

I really have hit a tempo with my practice. I feel like the practice week just flies by. I'm generally working pretty hard during practice, but I do not have that deep and bone penetrating tiredness that I experienced this summer. Thats pretty good, because that phase of my ashtanga practice was not the most fun!

What has helped a lot in the last few weeks:
-Doing "sets" of urdhva dhanurasana - 2x3, raise up for 5 breaths, lower on exhale, raise on inhale for another five, repeat, rest 5 breaths, repeat set. Its great and is just what I need to build stamina. Stamina has been a big hindrance to my vinyasas during second. Now they are feeling stronger which is much more satisfying.
-Using MB as a point of dharana. This one is apparent to a lot of practitioners, but only became obvious to me after a few weeks of MB exploration. It really is just the perfect point of concentration.
-Extending the breath. This arose from practicing pranayama and I *think* becoming more aware of my breath as a result. I realized at times my breath was borderline gasping. By extending it I have calmed my bodymind and can work on a deeper level than simply muscular tissue.
-Taking my time. There is no hurry to "get" dwi pada (I've got my hands full with eka pada!). I've realized the last couple months that the practice works best for me when it is done evenly and not frenetically. The new pose comes when it is ready, at a natural time. I have to mention along this line, my "anxiety" about new poses (especially titta A and pincha M) have decreased dramatically. If I'm not pushing myself for new poses then once the poses come I will feel completely ready for them, rather than maintaining this partial field of doubt and resistance (which probably had a lot to do with my energy levels when transitioning into 2nd).

Thats all thats going on in my Ashtanga World. A LOT of other stuff is happening, namely working on applying to graduate school and generally studying/reading/thinking about classes.

Life is good,
Andy