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February 2006 Archives

February 3, 2006

american terror

One of my friends lives over in Durham and she has a new baby and a two year old. They live in a transitional neighborhood near Duke where they work, but it is near some of the bad blocks. Although in Durham it's hard to not be near a bad neighborhood no matter where you live. Last week their house was the mistaken target of a drive by shooting, seven shots were fired, two entered the house and three lodged in the wall of the children's room. Of course they are moving. I recently was one of the producers for an investigative documentary on gangs in Durham that aired on national television. We didn't show everything I thought we should, and it didn't portray the gang problem as being as bad as I believed things really were. However, right after the program aired, the mayor of Durham and city council members came out protesting saying we depicted Durham to be much worse than it was, that it was slanted, that they get "picked on" a lot since they admit there have been gang problems in the past. Things are better, they said, and the gang problem is not that bad. Anyway, things have been getting worse again over there these past months. One of the things that gangbangers do is get on public busses and start shooting up the joint. Of course the only people who ride the busses in Durham are the people who have to, the poor and elderly. Many people have been killed.

Most of Durham looks like a war zone, and it is consumed by gang territories and violence. The poverty is rampant and there is neighborhood after neighborhood of boarded up houses, crack houses, gang houses, and people living in true blue squalor. Even the nice neighborhoods are home to gang activity. And this is true for many, many cities arount the country. The violence is very bad, and many innocent people have lost their lives or been otherwise permanently damaged. And it has spread to the rural areas, especially MS13, a particularly violent gang based in central America heavily involved in illegal arms trade, prostitution and drug smuggling. Gang grafitti is showing up in unlikely places like upscale malls and rural farm communities. There are even gangs in the upscale suburban town I live in. They are everywhere and it is getting worse. Then I turn on the radio and hear the "office of homeland security" and Donald Rumsfeld declaring unequivocally that "environmental groups" are the "number one domestic terrorism threat" and "we need to focus our attention and resources on preventing these radicals from inflicting their terror on the American people." Although I am aware of several incidents where there was property damage inflicted in the name of some environmental cause, there is not one situation where anyone was killed or hurt, other than having their property damaged. "Eco-terrorist" groups are usually poorly organized and are usually not part of any established environmental groups, or it is one or two people acting on their own. They often claim to be, but no one has ever been able to prove that there was anything behind their activies other than a rebel attitude, a desire to save the environment, some bad judgement, and maybe a little kind bud. Clearly the targets of gang violence are people. The few examples of "eco terrorism" that have actually been indicted, at best, caused property damage andclearly did not target people.

In this country, and especially with this particular admistration, it is clear what is most important. Shoot innocent people on busses (especially if they are poor and black), import and distribute illegal weapons, inflict terror in neighborhoods controled by gang thugs weilding guns and shooting them at will, shoot automatic weapons at houses inhabited by innocent, young families, but for God's sake don't do anything that interferes with the profits of big business. That is true terrorism.

Trans America

Response to being reminded by a psychologist that being trans-gendered is considered a serious psychological disorder by the American Psychiatric Association:

"It is interesting, then, that a psychological disorder can be cured by plastic surgery..."
Bree, Trans America

February 4, 2006

a swing and a poem

Picture a girl on a swing.
Imagine a poem.
Watch this for a while.

There is really nice light.
Now add that to the swing and the poem.

It's really pleasant out and the sun is setting.
Now add that to the swing and the poem and the nice light.

Watch that for a while.

February 9, 2006

Does it matter to you?

Question. Does age matter?

Imagine that.

February 10, 2006

Interesting Answers

So I got some interesting answers from some of my bloggy friends about does age matter. I posted a couple of the responses, and a lot of them were just on my email, but the overwhelming concensus is no it doesn't, which is funny since almost nobody asked what it mattered or didn't matter for... It seems only to matter in the mind of the beholder, or rather things such as this matter less to others than one might think. This is a question I have been asking for a pretty long time in all areas in my life since at a fairly young age I had a very responsible job, (meaning I was responsible for lots of the client's money) yet since I looked so young they still assumed I was the intern or secretary and sent me for coffee. At first it pissed me off and I'd get all resentful, but then after a while I started to just offer everyone coffee before they could ask me and it became a moot point. And it was more fun and it's just good to be nice to people.

God always seems to provide me with experiences that can teach me exactly what I need to learn, if I can be open to it and willing to take the lesson. But it's always good. Like Guruji says, "do your practice and all is coming." it is that simple. I used to try and figure stuff out. But now I like to just practice and go along for the ride. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is practice, but I have never practiced and regretted it. Sometimes it's frustrating to hear that the answer is to just keep practicing or keep praying because I want something specific or, I don't know what I want, actually. But that's just it. It's a faith thing.

February 16, 2006

a stream a rock and a poem

Theres some sun
and it's fall and there's a stream.

Now listen to that.

You look down into the stream
and the water is moving over the rock.

Now feel your hand on the rock.

Now feel your hand on the rock.

Now watch yourself with some sun in the woods
and a noisy stream with your hand on the rock.

Keep watching.

February 21, 2006

where have you gone?

You were there beside me
I can picture that.

You were there in front of me
I can remember that.

You were all around me
I can feel that.

You will always be with me
I can imagine that.

February 27, 2006

more-abund

Usually when I write a typical blog entry, it involves some issue or another that either rubs against the nap or just generally, sometimes momentarily, outrages me. Sometimes, I get outraged for longer than just a moment, but usually the initial intensity passes after I write about it and maybe mouth off to a few friends who are accustomed to my flights of fancy and episodes of magical thinking (of which I am fond). Sometimes all I need is something good to eat and a nap to rewire me. And I am not saying that I still don't harbor a resentment against the American Psychiatric Association, because I do. And I will always be baffled by what actually constitutes a booty signal. I still don't get that and hope to one day so I can improve my communication skills and be able to send clear messages that are not subject to interpretation, or more precisely as in my case, mis-interpretation. It would also be nice if I could send booty fly if I want to, and even learn some subtle control over variations on the message. I just don't want to be forced into making written instructions as I have recently had to do (for lack of a functional non-verbal approach which was efforted and then lost on the intended.) This is mainly because I would really like to avoid a paper trail. But written messages unfortunately prove to be the most effective and, well.. evident? I am also hopeless at poker because of my deficiency in non-verbal communication skills. Maybe it's my Irish background. We are not a subtle people and have made a legacy of putting desires and intentions to the page.

I was, after all, the note writing expert in fifth and sixth grade, often recruited by classmates to pen their love notes and design the required pre-love-note research surveys (The survery being the necessary research tool used to determine the probablity of a statistically significant positive outcome.) For example, "Do you like Julie? Check 'yes', 'no' or 'maybe'" or "If Krista liked you, would you like her back? Check 'yes,' 'no,' or 'maybe.'" or "If you could like someone, would it be Donna? Check 'totally,' 'never,' or 'maybe," or "On a scale of one to ten, would you kiss Robert Pagones?" Circle the number you want..." etc. Having sucessfully sparked more than several pre-adolescent love connections while sadly remaining invisible to the opposite sex myself, I had a certain satisfaction knowing that secretly, it was me that all the boys were in love with and not the Julies, Kristas and Donna's who merely served as stand-in recipients of the passions inspired by my pen.

About February 2006

This page contains all entries posted to TuchMyBlog in February 2006. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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